What’s the first intrusive thought you had that took you into an ocd spiral which eventually led to your proper diagnosis? This is a judgment free zone!
My first thought was about believing I drank a full bottle of bleach as a kid. One day at 9 years old just woke up and walked about into the living room and looked both my parents in their eyes and asked them if I drank an entire bottle of bleach under the sink. Feels insane typing that, but after that my parents got immediate help and I was officially diagnosed.
@Anonymous Wow! What parents you have🙏💪
@Anonymous So happy your parents stepped in for you!
@elliss2 yes and Amen!!
@bebecoll30 Thank you so much ❤️
My first intrusive thought that triggered the onset of my OCD was about losing my hearing. I was 9/10 at the time and had no idea what was going on. It ended up going away for a while but came back years later with different thoughts. About 2 years ago I had an intrusive thought about my sexuality and it all went downhill from there. I got diagnosed a few months later.
@blazed I know how scary the somatic ocd can be. Blinking used to get stuck in my head as a kid and i would hyper-fixate on it so badly i was scared it was never going To go away.
I was 7/8 years old I was obsessed with religion, I had to pray 3 times at 3 am. And also I had to ask every hour my mom if She loved me, I couldn't stop It.
But i didnt get a diagnosis for more than 10 Years, only when I started to have rocd and then hocd they finally diagnosed me with ocd
@Marharet I’m so sorry you went through this. I didn’t develop full blown ocd until i was 22. i am now 27 and learning how to successfully cope with this mental illness.
The first i can ever remember was a fear of getting attracted to a family member. I didn't develop ocd then but was still highly conscious around them. It went away and I haven't had it since but still have other themes of ocd.
I can’t remember I’m In such a mess right now I know I like men in veiny arms but I watched a vid about a women having them and now I’m getting a fealing that I like girls in veiny arms when I don’t I know I like men in veiny arms could u plz help me I don’t think I can live anymore like this I know I like men
@Anonymous I think if the thoughts are bothering you then they are intrusive it isnt you.
@lost_ Yhh
@Anonymous I watched a podcast recently about a fellow OCD friend who struggled with believing he liked men to the point of putting his face down when walking past other men because of the thoughts he felt and the things he thought he liked and wanted. You don’t like women with veiny arms. You like men with veiny arms. Go to google and remind yourself of the guys you like with veiny arms. Heck, even set one of the men with veiny arms as your phone background to put it in your mind and fight the thought. You got this.
@Anonymous Thanks u
@Anonymous I just at my female freind and I felt so thing I’m scared I don’t want to like girls I like boys
@Anonymous don’t be scared. you know you like boys. repeat it again, “i like boys”
@Anonymous Ok
@Anonymous Hi! I’m so sorry you are going through this. I think it’s important to circle back to this is a fear… not a desire. You are afraid there could be a chance you like women. Not the actual desire to be with women and afraid of others opinions. The obsessions are totally different from someone who actually has desires. If you desired it you wouldn’t be so extremely distressed and it wouldn’t even be a question to begin with. It would feel natural and right to you… i have had intense fears of becoming lesbian and even suffered from one that try’s to convince me that i want to be a man, when in reality that scares me to death and is the farthest thing from the truth. We give our ocd power when we argue with it, and when we do compulsions. It is cognitive distortions it is not real or logical thinking. unfortunately the advice that was given below with all due respect to them, is just a method of reassurance seeking. Putting a picture on your phone and repeating to yourself over and over that you like guys is just fueling the fire it’s exactly what your ocd wants to keep you in the loop. Instead, let the thoughts be there, acknowledge accept and say thank you. Continue to do what you planned to do that day, understand that ocd intrusive thoughts are a symptom of this mental illness. The content so much doesn’t even matter, i have obsessions about harming myself, about becoming bipolar or schizophrenic, ive had the insane constant fear of getting herpes even from sitting on a toilet seat and I’ve been scared of somehow deep down wanting to be a man. it’s all a crock of crap and lies, the brain produces junk thoughts with ocd! If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts i highly encourage you to call or text the Suicide support hotline. you are not alone and you will overcome this!
I can't remember it as it was long ass time ago, but the first real one I had a massive issue with, that brutally tortured me mentally for years was violent thoughts. Everyone was a target for these thoughts and nothing was off limits to how far they went. Imagine the worst stuff possible, it was worse than that. I tried repressing them so much that they became voices in my head as I dissociated myself from them. I knew they were me but it sounded like someone else's thoughts because I didn't want to believe I could imagine that stuff.
@Wolfram I’m so sorry, i know how hard that can be. I often have violent mental images when picking up a knife or scissors. Just remember ocd is a bully and it’s the opposite of who you really are. In reality you are probably a gentle and kind person.
@bebecoll30 That theme is long behind me. Thanks for the kind words though ☺️ I hope you get better too
@Wolfram Thank you so much!!
my first intrusive thought I was in first grade and my dad was watching some show on the discovery channel about demons and then I had a thought what if I get possessed by demon and for months and months I would refuse to go to sleep and cry all night long
I find that the intrusive thoughts that hurt me the most are the quiet ones. The ones that, at a glance, can be hard to differentiate from your own thoughts. The louder thoughts are easy to diffuse, to say "maybe, maybe not" to but the quiet ones leave me ruminating for hours trying to figure out if they're mine or OCD's. They leave me feeling disconnected from those around me and even from myself. I can go from happily thinking about marrying my boyfriend in the future to feeling like I have never actually loved him in a matter of minutes all because a thought was a whisper rather than a scream. This is my first post and I'm not sure what I'm looking for in making it. Advice? To know I'm not alone? I guess if there's anything you feel the need to share I'd love to hear it.
Hi I am Aisha and I am not sure if I have ocd or not but I struggle with thoughts which I don't even know if they r intrusive or if I am thinking about them and they are usually about my family or friends. This time it was about my mom more specifically a sexual thought about my mom and my mind was thinking that this is what I want and when I was analyzing the thought I wasn't sure about my intention which made me feel really bad
Last year during April I started to experience groinal responses when I looked at kids. I was terrified of what it could mean and decided to attempt two weeks later. The very next day I had those responses I decided to attempt. I didn’t really have the courage to do so at that time but I started experiencing images about disturbing things done to kids and as days went by it got worse. April 16 was the last straw and I couldn’t take it anymore. I ended up in a mental hospital but before I ended up there I had searched up what I was experiencing. That’s when I started to understand that it was OCD. I felt relieved for a few moments until I felt the urge to get more information. I saw lots and lots of things and many comments saying that it wasn’t normal and that people who went through this were disgusting people who shouldn’t be allowed to roam free. That’s when my anxiety and fear became worse and I tried to get rid of it but nothing worked. I shook the entire time I was awake, I didn’t have motivation for anything anymore, I just felt so disgusting. In the end, I’m so glad I ended up in that mental hospital or else I wouldn’t be here with my friends and family. Thank you for reading my story, I’m so glad that I’m not alone
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