S*x and rocd

I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?

Good morning. Anyone struggle with ROCD? When I think about what I have done in the past, I feel immense guilty (I feel the tightness in my chest) and have the urge to tell my partner about it, even if my partner says she doesn’t need to know if it is going to hurt her and that I need to talk to my therapist about it first. Any suggestions on how to manage the urge/urgency? Thanks!

I know that anxiety and OCD can affect you in a lot of ways and I know it can affect your sex life. I was having sex with this chick about 4 days ago and everything about was amazing. it was a random hookup. But I got tired quick and got so worried about meeting certain expectations during intercourse I lost my erection part way through and couldn't match her pace and that felt honestly embarrassing and debilitating. Like there is no way I should be not keep it up with this chick. But I am aware anxiety can destroy performance in intercourse and I look at porn and notice other guys maintain erections forever without constant stimulation. A few seconds with stimulation and I lose mine. But I am been like that pretty much forever. Do I have misconception about how that works or is something wrong with me cause the doubt sucks. The girl even said that it was weird how I got soft after not that long. But she tried to be supportive for the most part but it felt terrible. If i am not flexing by pelvic muscles it feels like I can't maintain it.