I really need some and advice. I have just discovered that I suffer from POCD and I have yet to seek treatment. This has been eating up for the past two days now. I'm not attracted to children in the slightest bit. And my fiance doesn't know. I'm afraid that he will leave me. I can't tell my parents because they wouldn't understand. I am not a pedophile. But I'm afraid that I might become one. Please help urgently.

You are absolutely not a monster in even the slightest sense of the word , please understand that. I wouldn’t tell your husband just yet , as some people don’t understand Pure O OCD and it would be better if you were to tell him at some point whenever you find a therapist to talk about this with. So sorry you’re going through this , I’ll keep you in my thoughts and I know things will work out just fine in the end ❤️

You are very welcome!!!?

Thank you sooo very much Andrew for the kind words, and wonderful support. It greatly appreciated.

Okay, so, first off, try not to utterly despair (emphasis on try), because you are not alone, there are many like you who suffer with that particular form of OCD. There is hope because many like yourself do find dramatic relief! So, personally, my advice would be to seek out a therapist. I would strongly suggest seeking one that is posted on the IOCDF website, because they are specialized in OCD of all forms, including yours. Here is a link https://iocdf.org/ocd-finding-help/find-help/ (If none are in your area, then perhaps use https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists) Then, in the mean time, perhaps try and research a bit about OCD, especially your type, (There are resources on that website) to get an understanding of what's kind of going on. There is help, you do not have to go through it all alone. The sooner you seek professional help, the better!

Thank you. I just don't want to tell my partner. He doesn't understand. And I don't want to lose him. What should I do? Am I considered a monster for having these thoughts?

No, you are not a monster for having those thoughts. The fact that those thoughts cause you distress proves it! I think the term is Ego Dystonic, meaning the thoughts are against your values and beliefs, thus causing you distress. Check out the channel "Restored Minds" on youtube, it's an amazing place to start! The best thing to do in your situation is find a therapist who can help you. I'm not sure if telling or not telling your SO about the thoughts would be beneficial or negative, that's something best saved to ask your therapist.

Ok thank you. I will check out the channel you have been a great help for me. I really really appreciate it.