My parents threaten to kick me out all the time because of my severe OCD. Each time they do I come back worse with new compulsions. They say I'm crazy for my OCD thoughts which is like, duh, does not make them feel any less real. Sigh. So tired of this life. My dad said he wished I was never born (just now), that I'm killing them physically with my panic attacks (I can't help it) and he said I'm the reason they smoke. I feel guilty and just want to die at this point. He also said he'd hit me if I'd not stop crying. They almost seem to think I like doing my washing compulsions and I can't stand it anymore. I feel alone in the world, even when so many of you struggle too, the fact that my once loving family is falling apart and that I feel so lonely in their company... it is tearing me down. OCD on its own is enough. This is too much.

The system is a joke. There should be a quicker response to mental health. The suicide rates would drop drastically. Hang in there!

I'm so sorry that your family doesn't understand and have no patience. Pls.. Hang in there. Breath...

My thoughts are with you, Chellie. Do you go to therapy? How old are you?

That is vile. Especially for your own parents to do that to you. It's not your fault you have OCD. They should be helping you they brought u into the world.

It is. Even worse, my older basic psychologist told me to start washing my hands (I never used to) as a reaction to intrusive thoughts. I literally have so many awful experiences with therapists that it is hard to open up with. (Some good too but they were open about the fact that they unfortunately cannot help me...)

Ah, I see, that's what you are waiting to get into. Yeah, it is quite scary, but living life with OCD is much scarier(long term) Just hold on Chellie, just make it another month. You can do it! You will always have a support system with us here on this site.

Thank you so much you seem like such a kind soul :)

I getcha, to be honest in my deepest darkest moments I usually don't think about this community but I am glad it is there (minus some reassurance stuff)

Yeah, that is sort of how it is. In the darkest of moments, our minds are clouded by all the darkness, and it makes it hard to think about positive things. But, the truth is, those positive things are always there, just as when it's storming out the sun still shines in the background. It always shines?

Just got to try and remember, the clouds will pass, just as this too will pass!

Thank you so much ♡

I'm 21 and have been waiting for therapy for 6 months... it's not available earlier :(

They try... we've been at this road for 3 years with no help. My parents are suicidal too because of the situation... I still love them. Just not their temper when it comes to OCD.

I understand how you and your parents feel. They might not know how to handle this. Are they still kind and loving towards you?

Yes when I'm not in a panic attack I guess. But as soon as I get anxiety they get pissed/stressed/annoyed which gives me in turn even more anxiety. It's a bad cycle.

And I'm literally every day at least having two panic attacks on average so ....

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Don't give up ! There are many other people in this world going through the exact same thing you're going through.

I just hope I can still recover. If not, I guess that is my biggest fear... It's been so long it is hard to recall what is "normal" anymore.

Waiting for therapy for 6 months!?!! Where are you? If you have some time to spare, check out this resource https://iocdf.org/ocd-finding-help/find-help/ the people listed on this site are specialized in OCD. Another great resource is https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists you can filter for OCD. Waiting 6 months seems so cruel... I thought my wait was bad...

Just try and hang in there.

It's been 6 months yes but 3-5 weeks more to go. Unfortunately I already checked everything and contacted specialists, I had one reject me for being too severe even, others had the same huge waiting lists the clinic had. I'm in the Netherlands, when waiting btw I was already housebound and very much incapable of taking care of myself. It feels like no one gives a shit about you in the medical world if you have OCD here. All they do is apologise for not being able to help and after so long that gets extremely frustrating and depressing.

I am so sorry to hear that? Yeah, I recently waited for 3 months just for the therapist to basically tell me I was too crazy for her? So my current therapist I have been keeping stuff from her and been slowly sharing my crazy. Since your symptoms are quite severe, have you considered in-patient treatment? If you do consider in-patient treatment, you could go anywhere in the world. There are a few reputable organizations here in the U.S. that have excellent in-patient facilities specifically for OCD, but I will say they are quite expensive. But other countries also incredible in-patient facilities and programs. Here is an article about a specialized treatment called the Bergen 4 Day Treatment. It's only a 4-day in-patient treatment (though I think but am not sure it's only offered in Norway), and I've heard the results are excellent. Here is a link about it https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/the-bergen-4-day-ocd-treatment/ Honestly, if you do consider in-patient treatment, the sky is the limit and you can probably hop on a plane and get treated much faster than waiting for a once-a-week therapist. If you do consider it, I could help find some places for you to check out.

Yep I am going to an in patient treatment clinic. Hopefully it'll help. I'm scared to death to go tbh.

You are welcome? Even though I don't know you, I do care about you. We are in the same boat in a way, ya know? We have got to help each other out!