I have a question

I need to know if someone else experience this because I think this may be the root of some of my ocd themes. So basically even when I don't really have a theme going on I get intrusive thoughts of different topics. For example if I'm reading an article about a person with ADHD my mind tells that maybe I have adhd and because if I had I'd be different, and it feels like I want to even though I don't do because I know how destressing it is to live with such disorders and who would ever want to develop a disorder like that. I get intrusive thoughts like about illnesses, identities and other things and my mind says that I have to have those things because they would make me different and my mind wanted me to be different in that way. And it felt like I wanted those things even tho I know how terrible they affect people and didn't really wanted to have them. Now it tells me the same thing about gender and sexuality that I have to be different in that way while I don't and it's causing me hocd right now. I guess this is my final answer but I wanted to know if somebody else experienced something like this. Like sometimes I get depressive episodes because of my anxiety and ocd but once I became obsessed with the idea of having chronic severe depression and I got so anxious but then felt relieved when I didn't but then my intrusive thoughts would pop up here and there

I hate how my mind is making me doubt of my intentions when i clearly know that I don’t have any desires to act on my thoughts. It makes my intentions feel so uncertain, and sometimes it would even make me feel like if I wanted to act on my thoughts when I actually don’t, because I wouldn’t be doubting if I did. So since I feel my intentions so uncertain I need to come to an answer, and sometimes it is so damn hard to get that answer, which makes me anxious and disturbed. It would also make me think of my past like, how were you okay without having these thoughts? Or makes me think of my future like, will you be okay without these thoughts? So it would make me think that these thoughts are really desires and I won’t be okay unless I act on them. As horrible as it sounds. And I don’t know if someone gets this too but, it would also make me doubt my feelings. When my family tells me cute things like “I love you” and stuff, I would feel so bad, because my thoughts are towards them. So I would say “ily too” but I feel like an hypocrite saying it, or like I don’t mean it at all, so it makes me doubt if I really love them or not. This is all so overwhelming, and I have gone through so many disturbing and crazy thoughts, feelings and situations, that I don’t know if this might be OCD.

I’m having constant intrusive thoughts and it’s driving me crazy. I will go through these periods where everything I do I get an intrusive thought and it’s just my brain is so loud. Anyone else?! How do you stop the constant intrusive thoughts when you can’t really do an exposure for every single one?!