- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
I was supposed to go to a psychiatrist today, but I went to the wrong location by accident and it had to be rescheduled. I have autism spectrum disorder as well so I don't do well with my schedule changing. I think that was the first thing that spiked my anxiety. I'm afraid that if I distract myself from the thoughts than it's a compulsion. It's turning into it's own obsession. Is it a compulsion or am I supposed to try to redirect myself to focus on something else? I'm so confused on how to handle this. I tried just letting the thoughts go and do what they want, but it makes me so depressed. I lay in bed for days or even weeks.
- Date posted
- 5y
Just breath, when i have a panic attack, i hug my dogs or i play a game on my phone and gets my mind off of it.
- Date posted
- 5y
I'm so sorry to hear about this. Is there anything you need to talk about? Just remember slow deep breaths.
- Date posted
- 5y
I don't know who I am anymore. I'm in love with my boyfriend regardless of whether or not I'm bisexual or a lesbian. I'm afraid that if I accept the possibility he will be taken away from me. I was doing so good today. I don't know what happened. I was so happy. I feel like someone one is shoving my head underwater lifting me back and out and then drowning me again over and over. I want to feel normal again. I want to be happy again.
- Date posted
- 5y
I can relate to this. At this point I feel numb when it comes to hocd. Past mistakes haunt me and I see it as evidence I was bi and didn't know it all along. The best bet is to not fuel your thoughts. The more you do that the more power ocd has over you and the more real and convincing the thoughts feel. All ocd wants you to be is stuck and miserable don't allow it too. I know that is easier said than done. Are you getting any treatment for it?
- Date posted
- 5y
You just accept that the thought is there but don't attach meaning to it. It isn't relevant but ocd makes it feel relevant if that makes any sense.
- Date posted
- 5y
Wow hateocd , my heart is out here for you, I have a lil brother who has autism and I have ocd, I couldn’t imagine how hard it is for your, but I can tell it is really hard. First, I want to congratulate you for reaching out for help and understanding, and I know that is really hard to do when uncertainty hits you. I will encourage you to look for help as soon as possible, don’t miss the appointment next time, you got this. Man I feel you are super strong for putting yourself out here and I’m proud of you.
- Date posted
- 5y
Ok I'm really confused. I have a big problem with perfectionism right now so even potentially doing the treatment wrong is making me panic. Funny enough one of the worst and most confusing things about the hocd is going outside and being attracted to men. It's like wait a minute this is telling me I'm absolutely a lesbian so why am I sexually attracted to guys? Now I panic when I see a dude I like too and then I feel like I'm cheating on my boyfriend for being attracted to other people. I'm also scared that I'm lying right now, but I know I'm not. So I'm just supposed to accept the uncertainty? I don't have to assign a label? I desperately want to put myself in a box, but none of them fit
- Date posted
- 5y
@uzro Thank you so much. I'm actually feeling a lot better right now.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
im so scared that this is just denial and that im actuall gay. idk what to do anymore i need help. its just constant anxiety in my chest and i hate it. is there anything i can do to help?
- Date posted
- 16w
I don’t know what to do with this bs anymore. I’m crying again and again and again and again. I cannot describe how painful this is. I’ve recovered from every single OCD subtype expect this one. HOCD is so scary and it’s so incredibly scary how it feels so real. The issue with this subtype is how intertwined it is with feelings and sensations. I hate how it keeps latching onto the past and uses the past as proof. I don’t want it to be the truth. I don’t want to accept any possibility.
- Date posted
- 13w
Hi,im a fourteen years old girl. I live in a homophobic country,and i dont have any experience. I grew up and became homophobic just like my family and my religion.but in 13 year old.i was questioning why lgptq is illegal?while they are just being them and can’t select what they are? So..i became an agnostic or atheist by secret.oh,by addition,before i became atheist i was making sure i don’t like women,like looking at women pics and imagine some romantic or sexual senarios just to find out,(and i wasnt feel anything and didnt like them),and i was happy and comfort for being straight (i was liking fictional men and some actors,within experience except an online male friend i liked but we didn’t date).but after being atheist,its like fire,i start developing HOCD,im not officially have that because I can’t have a therapist,but i have the Symptoms 100%. I didnt know whats hocd ,i find out whats it before a month.when i was struggling with it like 7 months,so,i think it started when i was in very close friendship with a girl in school,i was confused.if i liked her or not,i was imagining,questioning,making scenarios,but i couldnt have an answer,but then i was comfort to keep it just friendship.when the questions about her go,i can see her normally as a friend and i dont think of her or text her every day and it sometimes reaches months in summer holidays and its normally to me,no romantic acts about her,but then i had a new friend to the group and i had the same thoughts and questions to her.and now my brain questioning if i like them both😢.ok.this gone.this is before year,before being atheist.after being.i was questioning “do i like women?” Or when i see a fictional woman,i start to look at her and questioning myself and try to catch any feeling,i swear i would accept myself to be gay or bisexual,but i just can’t feel or accept that..i feel like burn.i cried and cried.it somedays turns so hard that I can’t even study or live normally.i also started to lose my attraction to men.i feel like its gone,I can’t now imagine being a man without getting uncomfortable,i miss the days when i was enjoying imagining kissing and sexing with a man.but,hocd,always reminds me i have no experience,and its all imaginary,so I don’t have a real clue from beginning that im straight.and i also read an girl experience with hocd and she became a lesbian at the end,i get so scary.it feels so real.i just wanna cry forever.im afraid that i will like a girl in the future,it chock me and burns.i hate this feeling.to thr god i dont know or believe in,please,if i like women,just let me feel it normally without this fear and hurting.i dont want to be gay.i dont want to like women.i dont want to be bisexual or lesbian.but if being any of those but comfort without this feeling that makes me wanna suicide.i would accept,please.just please,i even can’t get a therapist,even online,i just want help.please.i dont want to be like those girls that find out they liked women all the time,im scared,i miss my old feelings and trusting.i hate this.i just want to die if its mean hocd to go.i feel like its so real and i will love a girl no way in hell future.i even feel its not wrong to like women,like its much better and more soft that men,but i just can’t.I can’t.i dont know,i did everything.i gave myself permission to find out or explore my attraction to the both genders but it hurts me more.i dont want to get hurts again anymore.just remembering i have no experience or clue i like men even if in past felt like i would like and date a man and liven with him,i keep reminding its all was Based on imagination…even if i was wishing to love a man,hocd ruined this peaceful feeling,i was really find peaceful of loving a man.but now,i don’t feel like before,and this scares me,i don’t know what to do.I can’t have a therapist,and dont even know how to get better,,,
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