I’m scared

(Trigger warning) So recently I’ve caught myself being more content with these thoughts…and due to the fact of me not freaking out is making me freak out because I also have this weird little birdy in my thoughts that just say “do it” I’m not sure if I’m the only one and I’m ofc scared of that but please tell me this is normal…I can’t even cuddle my boyfriend or anything right now.

little involuntary unconscious movements earlier i was petting a dog that was sitting next to me and i was standing up and i was petting in on the head and after a little while i looked down and my foot was pushed near her private area i think i moved i didnt know it was happening. it happened last night too i was standing next to my cat and i had thought about my leg being right against the beginning of her tail and i looked down and thats where i was and i moved. i dont feel safe around people or animals, im better off not being here. its safer for everyone im not looking for reassurance, im pretty sure i dont have ocd anymore, im nothing, im disgusting. i don’t expect anyone to say anything i dont know why this happens so often im terrified.

I saw a video of an animal that someone was cleaning or doing something to the intimate region, and I automatically sexualized it and got some strange feeling, something like groin, even the animal looked like it was enjoying itself and I just feel different and disgusting because I know it's not normal, I didn't have zoocd and it's not clear to me how that feeling precedes my thoughts...