Stressed

Here I am having a bad day with ocd . Meanwhile , my mom is giving Ton of crap for ridiculous things like ; having my hair messy, being late to work, not being able to do things on my own like drive a car and/ or transport myself to own places on my own. This is so exhausting she has no idea what I am going through and everyday is a fucking battle for me . The other day she was very upset I hadn’t cleaned up my room but that is all due to my ocd :( I can’t even do that . Not to mention, if I ever do clean my room I have to always do it in such precise way . I can’t have any interruptions and I always have to have everything done the way I feel is right . Aside from the anxiety I get from that, I’m also feeling overwhelmed with my daily ocd thoughts . Somebody help me !

So I’ve been having a really rough time lately. I’ve been super stressed about school and everything in my life to the point where I don’t want to go anywhere and I’ve missed a ton of school this year. My whole family and my therapist are saying that it’s all OCD which just makes me feel invalidated like I’m making everything up and that they don’t understand. I’m positive in my mind that all these things aren’t even related to OCD and I’ve started convincing myself that it doesn’t even exist. My brain wont let anyone tell me otherwise ever. I had a bad day at school and wanted to go home but since I’ve missed so much and because everyone said it was just a compulsion to go home I had to stay and ended up crying in the counselors office for an hour. Right now is not a good time for like erp stuff in my mind because I won’t believe it’s ocd and I’ve been under way too much stress because of this lately. I don’t know what to do. If anyone has any advice or anything I’d really appreciate some.

OCD and anxiety are back in full swing due to something I have absolutely no control over. My brother has been a drug addict for a long time. He’s been able to get sober a couple times but this time is the worst I’ve ever seen him. I know there isn’t much I can do. You just basically sit and watch the demise of the person you used to know and love. He tells us he wants help but he just needs to get high one last time then he’s done, of course, neither I or the rest of my family help him with that request. We don’t give him cash, we will get him food and that’s it, maybe my dad will buy him cigarettes. I don’t sleep well, I am constantly over thinking, I have images going through my head constantly, I’m planning events that haven’t even happened yet. The OCD thoughts are terrible, and although knowing what the thoughts are helps, it brings me extreme guilt. Today I feel like I’ve just been floating through the day, I can’t remember the last time I’ve dissociated this hard for this long without being able to snap out of it. It was easy to ignore his situation but this time he asked me for help, good help. Help to get him out of his situation, what do you do in that situation? Of course I’m gonna help him. Of course he wanted to seek help then after saying he wanted to stay at my house till he went, but now it’s been 2-3 weeks, he still would’ve been at my house if I had said yes cause he clearly isn’t ready to leave this chapter behind. I’m so tired of dealing with this. I’m 23 in 3 days. He is gonna be 27 in March, our parents are no better than he is at this point, and no help to me or him. My brother won’t talk to my mom cause he’s angry with her for kicking his gf out, he talks to my dad but my dad doesn’t think he’s in any position to tell him anything (which is true, he really isn’t but he can try at the bare minimum) so it’s basically on me to figure this out, our sister offered to help with the charges up against him, but he didn’t ask for a PD so he needs to do that too. I’m stuck, I’m tired of dealing with this, and I don’t want the anxiety that comes with it. Thanks for listening to my rant :)