katia
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Ridethewave Ridethewave
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Trash. I want to die. My HOCD started and has increasingly gotten worse. To the point where I wake up every morning with the thought "you want be with a woman instead of your boyfriend" and causes me to have constant panic attacks all day when I'm out in public ?
maya1090maya1090
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I mean I don't think I get the 'acceptance' part. Its probably just me but I keep thinking my world is gonna come crashing down if people knew what the theme of my OCD idls (hocd). I try to accept it but after 10 mins the cycle begins again...all day. I'm exhausted!
person1person1
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I’m trying to live with the uncertainty. It’s hard, because naturally we want answers. It’s not my major theme right now though, so it’s easier. But when it was my main theme, it was really hard.
maya1090maya1090
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yep its all consuming but I have been lucky to have a break for about a few days where I felt like myself again & there was this relief that there was no questions, ruminations going on. But after a stressful two days, its back & I'm finding it a bit hard now. But any tips would be grateful.
Ridethewave Ridethewave
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yeah, I don't think I'm going to attempt to do ERP or the "acceptance" thing without professional help and guidance. I'll fall even deeper into the rabbit hole without proper support ?
person1person1
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I really used to struggle with hocd before I even knew I had ocd. It was in high school and I just remember that I was so scared that I liked one of my friends. I used to test myself a lot with stupid online “am I gay” tests. Over time I think I’ve Accepted that okay, maybe I am gay.... it won’t change who I am as a person. It was hard, and only recently did I start trying to accept it. Ocd is hard and very controlling if you let it take over. I am guilty of that, but it’s worth the fight.
maya1090maya1090
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yep that's a great way of putting it. I told my brother what I'm going through & he said that's exactly what its like. Going down a road of no answers, more questions & the constant over thinking. I'm finding the only relief is walking, getting good sleep & being thankful for what I have. Still keeps popping up though but I think if you have times of relief at least that's something. Thanks for your help!
Ridethewave Ridethewave
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Wait so are you gay? ^^^ or just living with the uncertainty?
maya1090maya1090
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yep its definitely hard alright but I'd rather live with 'maybe' than with constant questions about it. Oh I don't know to be honest but I guess that's OCD.
maya1090maya1090
- Date posted
- 5y ago
And I find it worse at times as I'm married with kids..
Related posts
johnnn
- Date posted
- 13w ago
:)
whats up guys what are some tips dealing with ocd and what to do when a thought makes u anxious ??
Mt2019
- Date posted
- 9w ago
Question about HOCD
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
geodrimilis
- Date posted
- 5w ago
Hocd vs actually gay (my opinion)
So I’ve talked to a couple of gay people and they all told me the same thing. They ALWAYS knew they liked guys and they have ever gotten aroused by a woman in their life. In fact they told me that they always found a woman’s body disgusting. Looking back in my life I’ve been attracted to girls for as long as I can remember even before puberty. All my fantasies were about girls and I can’t remember a time where I felt the same for a guy (because it never happened). At the end I can still get aroused by women and you can clearly see how much stupid this obsession about being gay is. Gay people can’t get instinctively aroused by a woman and like it. Groinal responses and sensations don’t mean anything because they simply do not bring joy or a feeling of desire. Instead they bring panic. I once got a groinal when “testing my reactions” and I was sitting there crying like my life is over. That’s not how genuine attraction works and no one has woken up one day feeling different and no one has been secretly gay and never noticed it and spent his whole life into women instead.
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