katia
- Date posted
- 5y
Ridethewave Ridethewave
- Date posted
- 5y
Trash. I want to die. My HOCD started and has increasingly gotten worse. To the point where I wake up every morning with the thought "you want be with a woman instead of your boyfriend" and causes me to have constant panic attacks all day when I'm out in public ?
maya1090maya1090
- Date posted
- 5y
I mean I don't think I get the 'acceptance' part. Its probably just me but I keep thinking my world is gonna come crashing down if people knew what the theme of my OCD idls (hocd). I try to accept it but after 10 mins the cycle begins again...all day. I'm exhausted!
person1person1
- Date posted
- 5y
I’m trying to live with the uncertainty. It’s hard, because naturally we want answers. It’s not my major theme right now though, so it’s easier. But when it was my main theme, it was really hard.
maya1090maya1090
- Date posted
- 5y
Yep its all consuming but I have been lucky to have a break for about a few days where I felt like myself again & there was this relief that there was no questions, ruminations going on. But after a stressful two days, its back & I'm finding it a bit hard now. But any tips would be grateful.
Ridethewave Ridethewave
- Date posted
- 5y
Yeah, I don't think I'm going to attempt to do ERP or the "acceptance" thing without professional help and guidance. I'll fall even deeper into the rabbit hole without proper support ?
person1person1
- Date posted
- 5y
I really used to struggle with hocd before I even knew I had ocd. It was in high school and I just remember that I was so scared that I liked one of my friends. I used to test myself a lot with stupid online “am I gay” tests. Over time I think I’ve Accepted that okay, maybe I am gay.... it won’t change who I am as a person. It was hard, and only recently did I start trying to accept it. Ocd is hard and very controlling if you let it take over. I am guilty of that, but it’s worth the fight.
maya1090maya1090
- Date posted
- 5y
Yep that's a great way of putting it. I told my brother what I'm going through & he said that's exactly what its like. Going down a road of no answers, more questions & the constant over thinking. I'm finding the only relief is walking, getting good sleep & being thankful for what I have. Still keeps popping up though but I think if you have times of relief at least that's something. Thanks for your help!
Ridethewave Ridethewave
- Date posted
- 5y
Wait so are you gay? ^^^ or just living with the uncertainty?
maya1090maya1090
- Date posted
- 5y
Yep its definitely hard alright but I'd rather live with 'maybe' than with constant questions about it. Oh I don't know to be honest but I guess that's OCD.
maya1090maya1090
- Date posted
- 5y
And I find it worse at times as I'm married with kids..
Related posts
truetrev
- Date posted
- 23w
Heterosexual OCD
I wanted to voice that homosexuals can get HOCD too. I remember when i was younger and knew i was gay i still got HOCD one time when watching The Office. I thought Pam was so pretty and then started doubting my whole identity because what if i am straight? Oh god, what a terror if i was heterosexual. But anyway, thought that maybe this would help heteros with HOCD by knowing that this is a universal symptom across OCD sufferers of all sexual orientations. A big problem is calling this subtype “Homosexual OCD,” because its not. It has nothing to do with being homo or hetero or bi or anything. Its just OCD being a bully. I think labelling subtypes is an issue altogether, as it can unconsciously make people feel like its not just OCD. But it is. Does this make any sense? What are yall’s thoughts on this? Or is this just my OCD talking? (Im not seeking reassurance just genuinely find this interesting) TLDR; each time we “qualify” OCD with a subtype, we reinforce that the subtype is part of the issue. In reality, OCD is just a broken loop in our brains, and thoughts are just thoughts. And Pam Beesly is a hottie.
jwall2.0
- Date posted
- 21w
Looking for HOCD / SO OCD advice
Hi all, I deal with HOCD and been seeing a therapist for about 3.5 months. It has definitely got better but still affects me very much. Was wondering there is anyone out there who has dealt with HOCD as well and has recovered. I would love to message or even chat just see how your experience was and hear what was beneficial to you.
Ampyyy
- Date posted
- 16w
Hocd
I’ve had hocd for around 11 months now. It’s gotten to the point where I’m just convinced that I am bi. I still like boys like I always have, but I feel like I like girls too. I have no anxiety either or active thoughts. It’s just kinda there like yep I’m bi and ok with it. Anyone else? Just curious.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond