- Date posted
- 50w
Trauma’s relation to subtype
Ive been told that I have POCD bc I was molested as a kid. By two practitioners (therapists who treat ocd/trauma). Im not sure I buy this. What do you think?
Ive been told that I have POCD bc I was molested as a kid. By two practitioners (therapists who treat ocd/trauma). Im not sure I buy this. What do you think?
OCD is caused my genetics, medical, or trauma, so no, it is not weird. I was molested as a child and my first pure O theme was POCD which was very hard to get over because of my abuse (but I did get over it).
@Nica Caused by*
So when the body experiences trauma, it changes the brain and body, especially the parts of the brain that evaluate threats that can help regulate our nervous system. The part where OCD occurs in the brain tends to overlap with the areas that are impacted by trauma as well. So for example a non OCD person would scan the environment and their brain would play out all the possible scenarios, sometimes things that are way out there, but the filter that says “hey, that’s less likely to occur” will filter out those scenarios, meaning they get way less intrusive thoughts. They still happen, but not as often. Now a person with trauma has lived an abnormal living experience, where the brain didn’t anticipate the threat (especially in instances that involve s.a.), so now the brain doesn’t know what thoughts to flag as abnormal vs normal. It will scan the environment for threats, and in the scenario where you are most likely to be the main threat, the brain is still going to play that scenario out, just in case, and it may not flag the thought as unlikely or irrelevant. Because the brain has been wired to protect at all costs, it will even try to protect itself from itself. That’s why people with harm and POCD themes tend to only have these fears towards people that they feel are weaker than them. And then with the general ptsd around what happened, it’s like experiencing a flashback but in thought form that you know isn’t real and would never happen, but the brain needs you to feel it’s real so you take the threat seriously, because in the past it wasn’t able to protect itself, and needs to feel like it can now.
(20f) I have been dealing with severe OCD symptoms for as long as I can remember. I recently got diagnosed about a year ago, and even though I know that these thoughts are probably my ocd, I still cant shake them. Growing up I was always very sexually curious. I was sheltered from a lot of things, as I went to a private school and things like sexuality and sex were never talked about. I remember doing some weird sexual things growing up (never affecting another person), looking up taboo sexual things, etc. I always seemed to become aroused no matter what the situation was, even if I just saw someone getting changed. I have no recollection of being SA'd, so i'm wondering where this all came from? Was I just curious and wanted to experiment and try different things? Or am I really a pervert, pedophile, etc. I have all these thoughts racing through my head and it's killing me. Everything I did as a kid I look back on and am disgusted, as those don't align with my views at all today. I never thought growing up thinking these things were wrong, or actually realize what they were until I got older. I'd like to think it was just my curiosity, but i'm not sure. What if i'm in denial and actually do like these things? I just need to know if theres something wrong w me, I cant keep going on like this. Could really use some advice.
Hello 😭, so uhm I’m kind of in the point of my POCD where I’m just tired. I just need to get it all out and get some sort of instruction of how to just idk live? So for me my childhood is pretty blurry. I have a few real event blended with false memory events there but other than that I’m a csa victim. And the way I tried to cope? By fetishising nyself, making CP of myself, seeing my life goal as being used, raped and a prostitue. Self destructive behaviour through talking to pedophiles and seeing my only worth as if I was sexually attractive. Which made me kind of numb to CP as a coping mechanism I guess. And heres’s where my main event of REOCD/false memory ocd comes in. I have a few events in my life when I’ve accidentally stumbled across CP ish mangas or just plan abuse and not had a big reaction. Some of them I even liked the story. And my ocd LOVES playing with it, making me truly believe I enjoy and get of from CP. I’ve also had quite a few dreams. A few days ago I had a dream about me getting triggered by something I did in the dream. Which I now can’t figure out if it actually was a dream. But also moments overall where I’ve unintentionally touched my private part while my siblings are in the room or when I found a guy 2 years younger than me pretty in 4th grade. Or a few of my only friends who turned out to be younger than me, and I had talked about sexual things (like fan fictions, my trauma ect) with them. AHSHB I absolutely hate ruminating and I’m tired so so so so so so tried 😭 idk help me? Please TT
I feel like after years of living in survival mode from various back to back traumas, I don’t know how to turn off my brain. It’s always in some sort of overstimulated cycle of overthinking, rumination, self checking, and seeking reassurance. I know there will be more peace after treatment. But just hating like I’m stuck in always feeling like I’m waiting for the next shoe to drop when so many shit things have happened to me early in life. How am I suppose to be excited about what’s next?
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