- Username
- Beachgirl2024
- Date posted
- 21w ago
Hi! I'm so sorry you're going through this- hocd is the worst. I find the only way is too accept uncertainty- you might be a lesbian, you may not be, both will be okay and you will figure that out when you're older- you do not need to now! I know that's super hard to hear- because OCD makes us believe being a lesbian is the worst thing in the world and also that we are one, but if you accept uncertainty it will go away. OCD looks for evidence, or 'signs' to convince we are gay even if we are not. Also looking up YouTube vidoes on this type of OCD really helped me. Feel free to message me about anything, I know you got this!
@Preena I know it’s just very hard because I don’t want to be!
@Beachgirl2024 That's exactly why OCD is attacking it :( I'm so sorry you're going through this. I think accepting the uncertainty and being okay with being a lesbian is the way through here :)
@Preena Okay I will try that! Thank you so much :))
@Beachgirl2024 No worries! Feel free to message me anytime ❤️
Hi! I’m a lesbian with ocd and I sometimes struggle with internalized homophobia. Whenever I feel upset about it I remember all the beautiful things about being a lesbian as well as that there are cons to every sexual orientation. A woman will love you in a way no man ever could and a man could never love you the way a woman could. You’re missing out on something whether you’re gay or straight. In my experience though, being a lesbian is great. Being in a same sex relationship means being with someone who understands struggles unique to being a woman and that makes the bond just so much closer. I said I was bisexual for a while just to get used to it and that would be ok too. If you’re worried about religion, God loves you know matter what. Highly recommend talking to a therapist that can help you learn to love who you are. It’s also ok not to know! My roomate doesn’t like labels and she just says I like who I like when I like it and I think that’s a great mindset.
Unfortunately me too
I have no idea if this is just OCD and I’m actually just straight or i was in denial my whole life. Now it feels so scary, i feel like im realizing my true self, that ive always been gay, that im just using SO-OCD as a cover up. IT FEELS SO REAL. I even feel like others with SO-OCD dont experience this feeling and i must experience something different. Its literally a feeling like an urge to admit myself that I’m gay and it even feels like i know im gay and i was using OCD as a cover up for 6 years. I cant even describe that feeling. When i try to imagine myself with a girl in my mind it makes me feel like i like that thought like i want it😔 It feels all very very real. I think you guys with SOOCD have different feelings and you actually have OCD. I dont want these thoughts. I dont want to be gay, i dont want to feel this. But maybe i was my whole life in denial. 😭😭
I dont have ocd. I really dont. It feels like im actually a lesbian. I dont feel anything for guys. I dont know how to describe my feelings. It feels like i cant escape my body or my mind. I feel stuck. It feels real. It must be real. But i cant imagine that its real. But it feels so real like im actually a lesbian. I dont want to be. Today i had urges to come out. I feel depressed. I dont wanna live. I cant escape. I just have to accept that im a lesbian.
I dont know is this is sign of me being a lesbian or what but I feel like i can’t talk with my girl friends about guys. When i was young i used to, it was fun, talking about those things and talking about sex when we were pre-teens. But now I’m 20 and i feel like that im just not that boy crazy as other girls and i feel like im just left out of the conversation. When im alone and i do feel normal and my ocd is not spiraling i notice guys and i do have fantasies. I just feel a bit broken when i talk about guys with my girl friends. But i dont think im a lesbian. Sometimes i just know I’m not. But i’ve read many stories like “I realized I was a lesbian when all my girl friends were talking about guys and i couldnt relate”. 😔😔 Maybe this is all because of HOCD because i have it since 14.
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