- Username
- shafo
- Date posted
- 7w ago
do you guys tell your partner you have ocd?
if so, at what point? and how much do you explain? are there sources you like to use that might explain to them what it actually is?
if so, at what point? and how much do you explain? are there sources you like to use that might explain to them what it actually is?
I told my current partner, that I suffer from OCD and depression, before we got together. My long-term partner before him complained about not knowing, that I always suffer from OCD, even when there are no triggers around. So I wanted to be upfront this time. That being said, I told him about some themes, but not about the sexual ones. He knows, that children and animals trigger me, but not why. I have made some bad experiences regarding telling people, that I suffer from POCD, so I only talk about it with therapist specialized in OCD and other OCD sufferers.
@Zoë_84 thats definitely a concern, im not sure i could explain POCD or ZOCD in a way that could make anyone without the disorder understand. my ex seemed to try understanding but this new relationship is so much healthier i dont want to mess things up.
@shafo It's the same for me, I'm not sure, but a bit after I told my ex that I suffer from POCD our relationship started to slowly go down hill. He told me it has nothing to do with me suffering from POCD, but as he hadn't been honest about quite a few things, I never believed him. I know, that my current partner wants to know more, but I told him before we got together, that there are parts of my OCD, I'll not talk to him about. So I stand by it.
I guess it depends on how serious the relationship is. If it's something you see long term is probably worth sharing a good bit. I wasn't diagnosed until 5 years into my marriage. Not knowing what the heck was going on for those years was SO hard on my marriage. Now things are well, but dang it was rough. My husband now knows so much, and is truly the reason I'm better in many ways.
@Anonymous weve been dating for a month but i really do see us being long term. i just get worried theres no good time to tell them, or that telling them might seem like a bid for attention. like, i know they have depression and anxiety and stuff but its not like they go out of their way to confess their specific diagnoses, it feels unnatural but i suppose thats the overthinking haha
Yes, once you feel you can trust this person and feel comfortable disclosing it, revealing your OCD can be helpful and cathartic. If you decide to do it, go on YouTube and check out the NOCD videos designed to explain to loved ones what you're going through. Share one with your partner and then explain your OCD journey. I know it was cathartic and a big relief to disclose it to my wife. Hope this helps.
Hi all! I have posted about this before and still not sure about what to do. I am struggling with the question of whether or not I should tell my partner (getting married this week) about the fact that I have OCD and my past experiences with it. And if so how? On the one hand, I think it would be good for them to know that I have this issue (to know me better, and basically strengthen our bond), but on the other hand, I am not sure about how they would react to hearing some of the past manifestations of OCD that I suffered with (mainly POCD and other sexual OCD - about 10 years ago now). My OCD today is mostly checking things around the house to make sure everything is safe - a more “plain” and “non-threatening” (to people without OCD) kind of OCD that wouldn’t be too challenging to discuss. I guess I want to share my experience but wondering if it makes sense to if I am going to leave out the more challenging (but also what has been for me the most impactful) stuff out. And of course keeping that stuff in the disclosure would carry risks as well. Looking online for expert opinions on this is a bit inconclusive. Expert opinions range from “don’t do it, it’s reassurance and these thoughts are meaningless and don’t define you”, through “you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to but it can be helpful”, to “you should probably do it, but maybe don’t share everything”. Any thoughts from anyone who has gone through this? Thanks!
So i use to get a lot of relationship OCD. I recently got into a relationship two months ago. i have been experiencing some relationship OCD thoughts like “do i like my partner enough” and to complete the compulsion of telling them that i am having this thought. I use to be able to conquer them but after bringing it up in therapy it got worse. does anyone have any recommendations on how to conquer this compulsion and thought? I don’t want to scare my partner away.
I just started dating this guy not too many months ago. he is everything i ever wanted and he treats me right. but now my OCD intrusive thoughts are creeping back in. ones like “do i love him/like him” and like “i have to tell him im having these horrible OCD thoughts or we will never know how i truly feel.” but i know i love/like him. And sometimes I’ll be having a good day and then BAM, the thoughts smack me in the face and i get stuck in an anxious loop and it ruins my mood. how can i break this compulsion without feeling so anxious and do i tell him i’m having these thoughts to relieve the anxiety?
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