- Date posted
- 24w ago
do you guys tell your partner you have ocd?
if so, at what point? and how much do you explain? are there sources you like to use that might explain to them what it actually is?
if so, at what point? and how much do you explain? are there sources you like to use that might explain to them what it actually is?
I told my current partner, that I suffer from OCD and depression, before we got together. My long-term partner before him complained about not knowing, that I always suffer from OCD, even when there are no triggers around. So I wanted to be upfront this time. That being said, I told him about some themes, but not about the sexual ones. He knows, that children and animals trigger me, but not why. I have made some bad experiences regarding telling people, that I suffer from POCD, so I only talk about it with therapist specialized in OCD and other OCD sufferers.
@Zoë_84 thats definitely a concern, im not sure i could explain POCD or ZOCD in a way that could make anyone without the disorder understand. my ex seemed to try understanding but this new relationship is so much healthier i dont want to mess things up.
@shafo It's the same for me, I'm not sure, but a bit after I told my ex that I suffer from POCD our relationship started to slowly go down hill. He told me it has nothing to do with me suffering from POCD, but as he hadn't been honest about quite a few things, I never believed him. I know, that my current partner wants to know more, but I told him before we got together, that there are parts of my OCD, I'll not talk to him about. So I stand by it.
I guess it depends on how serious the relationship is. If it's something you see long term is probably worth sharing a good bit. I wasn't diagnosed until 5 years into my marriage. Not knowing what the heck was going on for those years was SO hard on my marriage. Now things are well, but dang it was rough. My husband now knows so much, and is truly the reason I'm better in many ways.
@Anonymous weve been dating for a month but i really do see us being long term. i just get worried theres no good time to tell them, or that telling them might seem like a bid for attention. like, i know they have depression and anxiety and stuff but its not like they go out of their way to confess their specific diagnoses, it feels unnatural but i suppose thats the overthinking haha
Yes, once you feel you can trust this person and feel comfortable disclosing it, revealing your OCD can be helpful and cathartic. If you decide to do it, go on YouTube and check out the NOCD videos designed to explain to loved ones what you're going through. Share one with your partner and then explain your OCD journey. I know it was cathartic and a big relief to disclose it to my wife. Hope this helps.
hi. so one big factor of my OCD is rumination. i met a guy who i have a crush on the idea of (idea bc there are red flags). my biggest fear is not finding true love, my ex told me no one else would deal with what i have (my ocd, specifically reassurance seeking and getting overstimulated after intimacy). a few weeks ago, my friends and family all gathered and tried to give me advice that sounded like “you’re shy and you’ll never find someone.” after that, i’ve felt off. i’ve been using an unhealthy coping skill, daydreaming, and i’ve just felt unbalanced. my ocd makes everything feel different sometimes, i can’t explain it. life, myself, almost like being in a dissociated state. has anyone else experienced that? i don’t know how to remain balanced during my off times and i know pms exasperates it all. i take ashwaghanda and omega 3s in a multi vitamin daily. i take them all together in the evening but i’ve missed three days recently and also messed with my rocky sleep schedule because of fun times with friends. i hope these supplements work, because i don’t know if i’d be brave enough for medication. i had a bad reaction on prozac and often am forgetful. i just have been battling my OCD consciously for almost ten years now and unconsciously for longer. i am so tired, as my mental health extends beyond my OCD. i’m in talk therapy with some cbt aspects but i only see her twice a month. i’ve broken down so many times and promised myself id get on track or that certain things would work, but it’s like i am stuck in a circle that gets smaller when i’m able to help myself. i just want to be normal. i want to be able to mess up my sleep schedule to enjoy good times and not suffer horrible consequences or fear that i will be entirely thrown off balance. i don’t want to worry or doubt or feel so dissociative that i squint my eyes for a moment and wonder why i feel so unreal. i will never understand why god has allowed me to go through this. i cannot let it be for nothing but i don’t know how much more to bend and contort my body and brain to get somewhere stable but how lovely it would be if i could. i don’t have much of a schedule right now, i get apathetic and give in with things from time to time. one thing can trigger me and i am back to square one wether in a week or month. any advice, any and all is so helpful. your stories, your thoughts. maybe feeling less alone and knowing what has helped you is exactly what i need right now. thank you 💗
I get asked about the name NOCD a lot. People might want to know how it’s pronounced, and they’re curious about our story. Every time, I’m excited to share a bit about what the name means—in fact, it’s an opportunity for me to talk about something everyone should know about OCD. First things first: it’s pronounced “No-CD.” And it actually means a couple things, both central to our mission: To restore hope for people with OCD through better awareness and treatment. The first meaning of our name is about awareness: Know OCD. Though we’ve come a long way, not enough people truly know what OCD is or what it’s like. How many times have you heard someone say “Don’t be so OCD about that,” or “I wish I had a little OCD. My car is a mess!” Things like that may seem innocent, but they trivialize the condition and keep most people with OCD—around 8 million in the US alone—from getting the help they need. The second meaning of NOCD is about treatment: No-CD. To go a bit deeper: Say “No” to the compulsive disorder. On one level, this is also related to knowing OCD—noto means “to know” in Latin. This inspired the name NOTO, the operations and technology infrastructure that powers NOCD the way an engine powers a vehicle. But this meaning goes even further. It has to do with how you can manage OCD symptoms—learning to resist compulsions. This is the foundation of exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy, the most effective, evidence-based form of treatment for OCD. Learning how to resist compulsions with ERP changed my life, and it taught me how important it is to get treatment from a specialty-trained therapist who truly understands how OCD works. I’ll give you an example. When I was 20, my life was going according to plan. I was thriving on the field as a college quarterback, doing well in school, even winning awards—until OCD struck out of nowhere. I started having taboo intrusive thoughts, things that horrified me and went against my core values and beliefs. Desperate for help, I saw several different therapists—but no one diagnosed me with OCD. At one point, I was instructed to snap a rubber band against my wrist whenever I had an intrusive thought. It was supposed to stop the thoughts, but it only made my symptoms worse. Driven into severe depression, I had to put my entire life on pause. Once I started ERP with a therapist who understood OCD, I learned why: you can’t stop intrusive thoughts from occurring. Everyone has them—and the more you try to get rid of them, the worse they get. Anything you do to suppress them is actually a compulsion, whether it’s counting in your head, snapping a rubber band against your wrist, or using substances to drown the thoughts out. To get better, you have to learn to resist compulsions and accept uncertainty. OCD doesn’t get to decide how you live your life. How do you educate the people in your life about OCD? Whether friends, family, or strangers, I’d love to hear how you share your understanding and raise awareness about OCD.
Last night I had a fucked up intrusive thought/urge about harming my partner and I'm spinning out today. I let them know I had an intrusive thought and was struggling with compulsions around it and future repercussions, but did not tell them exactly what the thought/urge was, which they accepted. Do y'all share details with your partners about harm ocd? How can we healthily ask for support from people we are having horrible thoughts about?
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond