Hi :-) has anyone ended up convincing themselves they did something they didn't do? I've been wrestling with wondering if past thoughts were actually memories. For the past month I've reviewed and checked and asked people...nothing point to anything happening and yet as I told myself today, it must have happened, I felt calmer like "okay, well now you know." Part of it is also now wondering what else I may have blacked out. But so far I am more at peace than I have been when I was going through the "what if it did happen?" (Things from 10 years ago).

When you faced the 'what if I did?' idea, that was an exposure to the fear, and that's why your anxiety dropped afterward. Doesn't mean it is true, just means you faced it.

Interesting :)When you did lots of checking, the worry got worse, but when you accepted the possibility, your brain was able to drop the subject. .. what can you learn from that

Hang in there! I hear it does get easier

Hey OCDhope! This is a pretty common worry when someone struggles with OCD. You should try to sit with your thoughts and tell yourself “yep, maybe I did do it”. Watch how your anxiety gets high and low. This is a form of ERP. Also, try your best not to seek reassurance or check these memories.

That is what OCD is, convincing you of things that aren't actually true because you think that if you have the thought, it must be true, but thoughts aren't facts, they are simply an electrical signal in the brain

I think I doubt those thoughts even more because I did do some things I'm not proud of and I'm afraid to repeat those mistakes. I had thoughts then too and I did act on those thoughts. I convinced myself it was okay (it was nothing criminal). But OCD doesn't make people act. It usually attaches itself to things you value the most and makes you scared you could do it. And I'm scared shitless to repeat those mistakes. One of my therapists once told me to be careful because a thought didn't scare me right away meaning I was okay with the possible action again. I wasn't. I had just thought "it's just a thought". That created a delayed fear that maybe I hadn't been scared because I did do them and was trying to hide it from everyone including myself. And for the past month I've been thinking that those thoughts I had that seemed so real I double checked to make sure it couldn't have happened had to be real.

That I probably did it.

Omg I struggle with the same thing :(

That's where I am right now. I probably did it which is why I thought about it. That makes me think I need to no longer be around people.

That's why I must have felt so guilty a few days after the thought happened and then I convinced myself it was just a thought but really it wasn't and years later it came back as soon as I heard the word "blackout" in a podcast my brain searched for moments where I could have blacked out awful things I must have done. I found 3. I spent hours crying over the possibility of them being real. Checking and re-checking. Mental reviewing. Coming up with 50 reasons why they are not real. And yet...this evening I was just like "accept their reality. It happened. You did it. Move on. " and I felt calmer but the problem is I'm accepting things that are problematic to me.

I cant accept my fears coming true.

I have the exact same problem. It's really difficult. :(