- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
When you faced the 'what if I did?' idea, that was an exposure to the fear, and that's why your anxiety dropped afterward. Doesn't mean it is true, just means you faced it.
- Date posted
- 5y
Interesting :)When you did lots of checking, the worry got worse, but when you accepted the possibility, your brain was able to drop the subject. .. what can you learn from that
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- 5y
Hang in there! I hear it does get easier
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- 5y
Hey OCDhope! This is a pretty common worry when someone struggles with OCD. You should try to sit with your thoughts and tell yourself “yep, maybe I did do it”. Watch how your anxiety gets high and low. This is a form of ERP. Also, try your best not to seek reassurance or check these memories.
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- 5y
Hey Gaby, that does work most of the time. However, for a while I thought I hit someone with my car every day on the way to and from work, and thinking I actually did hit them caused significant trauma. I'm only just now starting to cope, it's been months of screaming at myself that it's not possible if I have no car damage. My point is, while it does help for most anxieties with OCD to give in and accept that it might have happened, I find in my experience that it may also be very troubling. I wish everyone the best in their struggles in however they choose to cope. ♡
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- 5y
@krissyny Yees. ERP doesnt work for me since I cant accept that I would do something bad.
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- 5y
That is what OCD is, convincing you of things that aren't actually true because you think that if you have the thought, it must be true, but thoughts aren't facts, they are simply an electrical signal in the brain
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- 5y
I think I doubt those thoughts even more because I did do some things I'm not proud of and I'm afraid to repeat those mistakes. I had thoughts then too and I did act on those thoughts. I convinced myself it was okay (it was nothing criminal). But OCD doesn't make people act. It usually attaches itself to things you value the most and makes you scared you could do it. And I'm scared shitless to repeat those mistakes. One of my therapists once told me to be careful because a thought didn't scare me right away meaning I was okay with the possible action again. I wasn't. I had just thought "it's just a thought". That created a delayed fear that maybe I hadn't been scared because I did do them and was trying to hide it from everyone including myself. And for the past month I've been thinking that those thoughts I had that seemed so real I double checked to make sure it couldn't have happened had to be real.
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- 5y
That I probably did it.
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- 5y
Are there any other interpretations?
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- 5y
@NOCD Advocate - Katie I can't really think of anything. I think I just accepted the fact that I've done those things and blocked them out. The current reduction of stress means that I just had to accept I did it. (Except my mind is currently whispering that I really didn't).
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- 5y
@ocdhope May I suggest an alternative?
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- 5y
@NOCD Advocate - Katie Of course!
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- 5y
@ocdhope Accepting the fear, whether or not it is true in reality, let your brain move on to thinking about the present. Instead of trying to untangle the knot, you cut through it
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- 5y
Omg I struggle with the same thing :(
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- 5y
That's where I am right now. I probably did it which is why I thought about it. That makes me think I need to no longer be around people.
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- 5y
That's why I must have felt so guilty a few days after the thought happened and then I convinced myself it was just a thought but really it wasn't and years later it came back as soon as I heard the word "blackout" in a podcast my brain searched for moments where I could have blacked out awful things I must have done. I found 3. I spent hours crying over the possibility of them being real. Checking and re-checking. Mental reviewing. Coming up with 50 reasons why they are not real. And yet...this evening I was just like "accept their reality. It happened. You did it. Move on. " and I felt calmer but the problem is I'm accepting things that are problematic to me.
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- 5y
Im pretty sure i didnt do something. But I have an image in my brain and my ocd tells me. If i have an image, it can be true. I know rationally that i can be my imagination. But since i dont remember for sure I obsess over it. What if it happened?
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- 5y
I cant accept my fears coming true.
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- 5y
I get it. Mine was a thought/image. I double checked right after it happened to make sure it wasn't true and it didn't bother me for days, then it didn't bother me for years until now. I spent so many hours checking and re-checking and reviewing and contacting people. But my mind now seems to give up on proving it isn't true and is like "okay it must be true" which then makes me a horrible person ... but it's like it's tired of trying to prove something it can't prove. It also cannot prove it is true for sure but it seems less bothered by that...which makes no sense.
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- 5y
I have the exact same problem. It's really difficult. :(
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- 5y
Thank you for sharing. I feel less alone!
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
Can it feel like you literally remember a false memory happening? And it feels like the memory has always been there and you vividly remember it happening that way? Because I don’t even know if I’m experiencing a false memory or not but god it feels so fucking real. Like I literally remember it happening. But what’s weird is the original memory was kind of different. 2 years later, the memory is not the same, but it feels like I literally remember it happening. And in this memory, I’m fucking snapping. I’m acting on my thoughts. I feel like a fucking psycho. I hope this is just OCD
- Date posted
- 24w
I’m reaching out for educational and self-awareness purposes, hoping to better understand something I’ve been mentally struggling with for several years. Around five years ago, I began having a deeply distressing memory involving the fear that I may have acted inappropriately toward my younger sister when I was around 13–14 years old. The details are vague, fragmented, and unclear—but ever since this thought first appeared, I’ve treated it as if it were a real event. I’ve carried immense guilt, fear, and anxiety for years, convinced that I must have done something horrible. Despite asking my sister (who remembers absolutely nothing, has never shown signs of discomfort, and has told me more than once that she would’ve spoken up if anything had happened), the doubt and guilt never went away. The memory feels real, yet there is no external confirmation, no direct recall, and no evidence beyond my own mental images and fear. I’ve also struggled with obsessive thoughts in other areas, such as health anxiety since childhood—frequent doctor visits, checking my pulse, obsessing over illness—and only recently learned about false memory OCD, which aligns with my experience. I’m not currently seeking therapy but would greatly appreciate your professional opinion from an educational perspective: Does this sound more like a real memory, or more likely a false memory created by OCD or anxiety-related mechanisms I am stuck between a normal person or a s*xual abuser
- Date posted
- 16w
For context, I was previously diagnosed with GAD and OCD. Months ago, after a night of drinking with coworkers I experienced slight hangxiety, but I remembered most of the night. At work when I asked a coworker if I did anything weird he made a joke that really wasn’t funny. This joke caused me to doubt my memory. I think I had thought I was more sober than everyone else when in reality I was not. I remember checking on a coworker who was slumped over in the drivers seat of his car and in no state to drive and asking “you good?” The next thing I remember is that I was in the drivers seat of his car reversing out and I think I assumed that he and our other coworker were also in the car. Our other coworker stopped me and told me to pull back into the parking stall and come back inside. I remember the events both leading up to and after that all the way until I got home. However the small gap in my memory had been causing me a lot of distress, so I asked that coworker who I went to check on who was the only person that was present during the gap in my memory if I touched anyone or let anyone touch me, to which he said no definitely not. He also said that he wasn’t in the car when I was reversing out and that he vividly remembers that I was the only person in the car. When I explained to him that the joke that our other coworker said made me worry that I might’ve done something that constitutes cheating on my bf he said no that guy is just weird and says effed up stuff. I feel a lot better, because he has no reason to lie and he doesn’t seem like that type of person. However I still feel unsettled, so I plan to call my doctor’s office when they open in the next hour. I’m wondering if anyone has experienced anything similar/has any advice.
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