For those with relationship OCD, how do you distinguish what’s “real” and what’s not? I’m new to discovering that I have ROCD, and I don’t know how I will know if there are “real issues” if I obsess over everything.

My therapist doesn’t specialize in ERP, but she’s been wonderful for me otherwise as I also deal with trauma and a dissociative disorder. She has worked with a number of people with OCD though but I believe more through

Greetings! I’m new to the app and this is my first comment on another’s post. I, too, deal with ROCD in addition to Cheating OCD (I fear that I cheated on my partner and don’t recall it). ERP and ACT are really where it’s at. Obsessing and ruminating obviously leads nowhere, so the key is living with the doubts and fears. Easier said than done, I know, but I figure if we all remind each other of these simple truths, the better off we’ll be. It’s not up to us to determine what’s real and what’s not. I think you’ll be able to determine that it’s OCD because it will have all the classic hallmarks (relentless doubt, need for reassurance, etc.). I think you’ll be able to determine if it’s a real relationship problem should it arise. I hope I was able to help some. Good luck.

Have u seen a clinician who specializes in ERP?

She should help u do ERP

@RalCHARide that was really good advice. It seems like you know OCD pretty well. Would love to see some more posts from you about living with OCD and recovery advice

Hi BlackSwan, I have Relationship OCD as well (obsessive jealousy - I fear my boyfriend is constantly cheating on me and need to check on him/interrogate him). I struggle with not “knowing” if something that has happened is a sign that he’s cheating or there’s a problem in the relationship. My therapist helped me realized that I also need to accept the uncertainty that I may not know if something is a “real problem” or not. Much, much easier said than done. For example, you can tell yourself “I may never know if xyz is a problem, I will accept the uncertainty and move on”. It’s hard but it gets easier with time. I haven’t conquered it by any means, and it’s super important to have a supportive boyfriend/girlfriend that is empathic, calm and understanding and doesn’t engage with you in your rituals. The person you find that supports you in that journey is the right person for you. I think it’s particularly hard for us Relationship OCD folks with regards to relationships, but I’m sure all of us experience and can relate to the extreme stress it puts on the relationship. Just don’t blame yourself and keep pressing and you’ll find the right person who is willing to support you and make you feel loved as you’re going through this. Much love...