- Username
- BlackSwan
- Date posted
- 6y ago
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- Username
- BlackSwanBlackSwan
- Date posted
- 6y ago
My therapist doesn’t specialize in ERP, but she’s been wonderful for me otherwise as I also deal with trauma and a dissociative disorder. She has worked with a number of people with OCD though but I believe more through
- Username
- RalCHARideRalCHARide
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Greetings! I’m new to the app and this is my first comment on another’s post. I, too, deal with ROCD in addition to Cheating OCD (I fear that I cheated on my partner and don’t recall it). ERP and ACT are really where it’s at. Obsessing and ruminating obviously leads nowhere, so the key is living with the doubts and fears. Easier said than done, I know, but I figure if we all remind each other of these simple truths, the better off we’ll be. It’s not up to us to determine what’s real and what’s not. I think you’ll be able to determine that it’s OCD because it will have all the classic hallmarks (relentless doubt, need for reassurance, etc.). I think you’ll be able to determine if it’s a real relationship problem should it arise. I hope I was able to help some. Good luck.
- Username
- Mjs110160Mjs110160
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Have u seen a clinician who specializes in ERP?
- Username
- Mjs110160Mjs110160
- Date posted
- 6y ago
She should help u do ERP
- Username
- PetShopBoysrockPetShopBoysrock
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@RalCHARide that was really good advice. It seems like you know OCD pretty well. Would love to see some more posts from you about living with OCD and recovery advice
- Username
- PP
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Hi BlackSwan, I have Relationship OCD as well (obsessive jealousy - I fear my boyfriend is constantly cheating on me and need to check on him/interrogate him). I struggle with not “knowing” if something that has happened is a sign that he’s cheating or there’s a problem in the relationship. My therapist helped me realized that I also need to accept the uncertainty that I may not know if something is a “real problem” or not. Much, much easier said than done. For example, you can tell yourself “I may never know if xyz is a problem, I will accept the uncertainty and move on”. It’s hard but it gets easier with time. I haven’t conquered it by any means, and it’s super important to have a supportive boyfriend/girlfriend that is empathic, calm and understanding and doesn’t engage with you in your rituals. The person you find that supports you in that journey is the right person for you. I think it’s particularly hard for us Relationship OCD folks with regards to relationships, but I’m sure all of us experience and can relate to the extreme stress it puts on the relationship. Just don’t blame yourself and keep pressing and you’ll find the right person who is willing to support you and make you feel loved as you’re going through this. Much love...
Related posts
- Username
- Sake
- Date posted
- 4y ago
How to tell the difference between normal relationship doubts and ROCD? Im going on a rant now: I have avoided relationships for the most part over the last 10 years. as soon as I get past the 2nd or 3rd date I feel like if I dont know that they have the potential to be “the one” then I worry constantly about wasting my life and theirs. I had 2 relationships that lasted about 3 months but the whole time, I just wanted to get out even though they were both good guys. In November, I had my first panic attack and soon discovered what I was dealing with (and still managing it) is SO-OCD. Then I learned of ROCD and wondered if that is something I have struggled with since my teens. As soon as I get into a relationship I have these strong urges to break it off for minor stupid things. Things that honestly make no sense. Like a weird freckle or chin (real examples). Not to mention I am afraid of getting intimate because Im super paranoid of getting pregnant... I started talking to a guy during quarantine and it’s slowly turning into more than friends. I really like him and enjoy spending time with him but I am constantly worried. Being aware of ROCD has helped me be mindful of the present but all my old habits are trying to come back full force and I find myself trying to avoid him. Ive read as much as I can find on ROCD and I can check off almost all the obessions and compulsions that are associated with ROCD. But it doesnt affect me the same way SO-OCD did. Like I felt like I couldnt breathe, and I could barely be in public. I wanted to escape so bad all the time. With this ROCD (if thats what it really is) I dont feel that panic, I just feel worried, stuck, and distracted. Not to mention, if I can manage to stay mindful, how on earth do you even tell someone you just started seeing that you have ocd, let alone so-ocd and rocd. It just adds to me wanting to avoid him. Also, how do you go from being dateless and single for 2 years to starting a relationship in the middle of a quarantine while you’re learning that you have OCD.
- Username
- anonymous1963
- Date posted
- 46w ago
Rocd vs reality
How do people recognize the difference between relationship ocd intrusive thoughts and real thoughts about your relationship? I have been in a relationship for about a year, it’s my first long-term relationship and the healthiest, I am almost 20 years old, and I believe I have rocd (I haven’t been diagnosed but it’s pretty clear to me). The main thoughts I get are “what if I’ll lose feelings for my bf?, what if I don’t love him?, what if I’m gonna break his heart?” (it’s never about if he’s cheating on me or anything like that. He is a really great boyfriend and the best person to ever walk into my life, he isn’t toxic or bad in any way towards me or the relationship). Usually these thoughts occur before my period (luteal phase/pms) but I’m on day 6 of my period and I got these thoughts, which usually isn’t the case as I’ve said before. So I went into a spiral cus I believed that since I got these thoughts at a different time in my cycle, they must be true. Deep down I know I love my boyfriend so much, it’s just so hard to navigate whether or not these thoughts are just fake rocd thoughts or what I’m really thinking. Can anyone else relate?
- Username
- lollypop48
- Date posted
- 25w ago
Days when you’re questioning everything
ROCD is so painful because I can feel sick to my stomach/worried about my relationship fading out and have no idea if it’s my OCD or the actual relationship. If you have OCD -can you just assume all of this is anxiety and ignore it? I feel like I want someone/something to tell me everything is okay and I can ignore all these feelings (seeking reassurance) but also everything in the media/comarisons makes me think these feelings wouldn’t happen if I was with my true love. The ‘trust your gut’ advice is SO triggering to me because my gut generally always doubts/questions my relationship. And also can I have gut feelings that something is wrong but still be with my true love partner?
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