Really need some support/advice right now. I’ve had multiple panic attacksbecause of everything that’s going on right now with this pandemic. I just really need some help but I know I’m not supposed to ask for reassurance. Everyone is panicking, even people w/out OCD which makes me panic even more. I honestly feel like I need to go to a psychiatric hospital or something, I’m just afraid of having a complete meltdown. I haven’t really been able to go anywhere such as grocery store, gas station, etc. bc I don’t want to touch anything.

Fathomable

Date posted: 5y

I would really recommend doing small exposures. That's what I'm doing- pushing myself to leave the house every day to do something and only wash hands as much as we are supposed to and not thinking about it any more once I have washed. We can definitely teach our brains that the worst possible outcomes and consequences don't happen when we take those little risks, and that build up our confidence. Life is all about risk, even at risky times like right now. The only thing I can really tell you for sure is that obsessing and restricting your life beyond what is recommended by health authorities is not going to do anything to prevent the bad things from happening. It is only going to make you suffer and waste your time and energy in the meantime. Don't let this completely fill your life up. Take breaks from thinking about it by saying to yourself "I WILL worry about this but not right this moment" and doing something enjoyable like some artwork or reading or watching a movie. During that time when you get intrusive thoughts and urges to check that you've done everything to keep yourself safe, continue saying to the thoughts that you WILL engage with them but not right now. Every little helps. Over time this can really reduce your general anxiety and should stop you from feeling like you're really on the edge. Remember, those urges to think about it are intrusive thoughts, and ruminating about it even without doing anything physically is still a compulsion and will make the cycle continue. Allow yourself to take these periods of not thinking about it at all so that your anxiety can come down enough to do small exposures. Small exposures could be touching things and resisting the compulsion to wipe down the objects etc and saying to yourself "maybe the virus is there and maybe it's not", not trying to reassure yourself, just sitting with that anxiety until it reduces. And it will reduce. I promise. All feelings, when we allow ourselves to feel them without acting on or judging them, eventually ebb away. You have the capacity to do that with all feelings and to feel a real sense of peace and acceptance once you have let yourself digest the feelings. The best way out is through. You can do it

bay97

Date posted: 5y

Thank you so much for the advice, that is really helpful. I honestly am letting it control my life atm but I’ve been trying to do small exposures. I’m planning on going to the grocery store w my mom in the next few days-so that will be one of my first exposures. I also have been going to therapy every week and had to touch a few things like a pen to sign something, etc. so I’ve been obsessing about that.. but trying to sit with the thoughts and let them pass.

ninagnes

Date posted: 5y

I am also trying to be mindful about how I react to the current virus. It's tough because it seems like the whole world around me is acting out compulsions and washing their hands constantly. I read a good article on vice about it, ocd and Corona or something. I'm also doing a lot of meditation and yoga to calm the anxiety and not try to act beyond the guidelines. It's tough, really, the fear is there but I'm trying to not give in. Stay strong. Pandemic will pass on it's on, ocd is harder to push back once it's over.

bay97

Date posted: 5y

I really hope all of this is over quickly. Before this all went down I was doing really good with ERP. It literally feels like the world is ending or something

bay97

Date posted: 5y

I’ve also been washing my hands way past 30sec, have had a hard time touching things in my house that are touched by family members like doorknobs, and have been afraid to wash my face with my hands or even get my hands near my face..

green bean

Date posted: 5y

u got this!! I believe in you

Fathomable

Date posted: 5y

One amazing book I recommend to all OCD sufferers is called "letting go" by David R Hawkins. It's a wonderful book which guides you through sitting with uncomfortable feelings, noticing and letting them be felt in your entire body without resisting them, acting on them, ruminating on them or judging them or yourself for having them. Just feeling them until they're gone. It's a beautiful experience.

bay97

Date posted: 5y

Thank you for the recommendation. That is something my therapist has been advising me to do and it’s very helpful. It’s just been hard for me to do it recently with everything that’s going on since it feels like the worlds ending.

alyssa_h

Date posted: 19w

i can’t do this much longer

i’m having a full on panic attack, i never used to be like this, what tf is happening to me, why am i like this, i’m so convinced i’m a horrible person and i deserve to be shut out forever because of my thoughts, i’m tired of struggling with harm ocd, i’m scared that because i have mental health issues i’m gonna end up ki!!ing someone someday or end up on the news, when i was at work earlier i kept thinking “how easy would it be to ki!! someone and get away with it” someone help, i don’t feel normal, am i crazy?… 😭😭i know that with ocd you’re not supposed to have reassurance and you have to be “okay” with the situation but.. how am i supposed to be okay with feeling like i could hurt someone…

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 19w

It feels more real than ever right now :(

I know I am going a bit cuckoo because my period is coming up, but lately it feels like every intrusive thought I have, I *like* it. Like I genuinely feel like I like it, and then I immediately panic because I start checking. Mentally, emotionally, whatever it is. And I know that is a compulsion. I *know* that. But it feels so real that I cannot stop myself. Every single time I check, it still feels like I like the thought, and it is driving me absolutely insane. It is especially the POCD thoughts. They feel so real. I feel like something is going on mentally, like some kind of confusion or glitch, because I swear I was not like this before. I would have intrusive thoughts, and they would feel real, but not *this* real. And I do not even know if this is normal. I know OCD is **supposed** to feel convincing. That is the whole thing. But I have never experienced it to this extreme. I have never gotten the same thought so many times and still felt like, “Oh my God, I did enjoy it,” even after checking a million times. It is like no matter how many times I check, it feels like I liked it. Especially during intimacy :( and it is making me lose it. Then I start thinking, “Well, I am in distress, so maybe that is proof it is not actually me.” But right after, I am like, “What if I am only panicking because I care about what society thinks and not because I actually have morals?” And then I spiral again, wondering if maybe I just care about how I am seen rather than who I am. I am panicking so much no today. I had to take my Xanax today for the first time in two months, and I needed three separate doses. I really need some support right now.

bun <3

Date posted: 15w

everything around me feels contaminated :((

sorry this is super long i just wanna know if anyone else has been thru something similar bc i feel super alone 🩷 i have super bad contamination ocd. it was bad already but my house was like my safe space until a few months ago someone brought something into my house that i considered ‘contaminated’. and so then i felt like that part of the house was contaminated, then it spread to everything outside my room (since family is moving around touching stuff) and then somehow i got convinced everything in my room except my bed is contaminated and i need to wash my hands after touching it. in my mind its like the contamination just infinitely spreads to things after the tiniest bit of touch. idek what im afraid of anymore or even what the original thing was but i can’t let it go. when i have to wash off contamination i have to wash at least 4 times or until it feels right, or sometimes take rlly long showers and wipe down all my stuff. i even throw away food and clothes or just whole items sometimes because they feel so contaminated i don’t want them in my space. i can’t be super near people or have anyone touch me, and i also can’t bring anything new into my room since it had to go through the entry of my house which feels contaminated. i feel like all i do is lay in bed and then wash my hands and do compulsions so i can go eat or do other stuff around the house. also i never go out because i’m bc people outside make me feel dirty, and i hate thinking about how many people have touched stuff in stores or in public and stuff. so im just in my room worrying all day. i feel so trapped and the contamination/avoiding it is all i think about anymore i barely have time for anything else and im never present when i talk to people because im worrying about if i accidentally got contaminated. im starting erp next week and knowing that im going to have to expose myself to things is really freaking me out. does anyone else have this kind of ocd ? im exhaustedddd 🥲🥲💔

Contamination OCD

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