- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
Also, remember that when you are feeling highly anxious you are using your amygdala and your cognitive function goes waaaay down. Meaning, you can't convince yourself either way, even if you try. So it's best to just let it go. And when you are in your rational brain if you do see that thought again you will realize it's silly. But the point is to just stop fighting it.
- Date posted
- 5y
Let me ponder on this a bit. I have an idea, but am not quite sure how to put it to words yet
- Date posted
- 5y
i wonder this too!
- Date posted
- 5y
Maybe don't go the extra step by labeling the thought. Example: ego-dystonic or "maybe it means something." Instead just see the thought and let it go. Or if it chooses to stay that's fine too. But don't label it. Just let it be. Much harder said than done but for mindfulness I practiced a lot of leaves on the water exercises and distancting myself from the thought/ feeling. That doesn't mean pushing it away, because it will push back harder but that does mean seeing it as seperate from yourself. An example: a thought suddently pops in your head, "I want to kill my mom." Don't judge it by attaching words to it. Obviously psychologically it's ego-dystonic but your sympathetic nervous system doesn't care about that. Instead, just notice the thought and then go on with your day. Don't label it.
- Date posted
- 5y
I don't think the concepts are opposites. For a thought to be egodystonic OR egosyntonic, it's has to carry meaning and emotions with it. There's loads of thoughts that don't fit in either category because we don't think they're meaningful and we don't have strong emotions in response to them. Acceptance "maybe it means something, maybe it doesn't, and I don't have to figure it out" is how we learn to make the thought neither egodystonic not egosyntonic. Acceptance is how we making it just a boring old thought that flits in one ear and out the other
- Date posted
- 5y
Hmm, sounds like when you try to embrace not knowing, your reaction to that is to stick up for yourself/argue by saying the same as the first thing: that it's ego dystonic so it can't be who you are. It's not surprising that you do this, potentially quite automatically, because OCD is like a bully who tells mean stuff about you, and for a lot of us the instinct is to vigorously defend ourselves and to point out flaws in their reasoning. Maybe it would get you out of this loop a bit to know that just because something is ego dystonic doesn't mean it can't be true. It just means it doesn't vibe with how you see and think of yourself. It being ego-dystonic is what makes it distressing. People with ego-systonic intrusive thoughts have obsessive compulsive personality disorder, because the thoughts align with how they like to see themselves. It really is only about how you see yourself, your identity and your preferences and values, most of which has been unconsciously accumulated over time. It doesn't have to be untrue. It can be ego-dystonic and still be true, like for a homophobe who starts to realise that they're gay, or a teenager realising they are a paedophile who sees themself as a good person and is horrified that their emerging feelings could mean something about them which is stigmatised and which might, even to themselves, go against the good person they have believed they are. In both of these cases, the thoughts are ego-dystonic but true, and can certainly develop into an OCD with checking, asking others, researching, analysing etc if the person has a predisposition. So hopefully that can help you to stay with the uncertainty. I'm sure I'll get a few panicked responses from people on this comment, but I'm not going to respond to reassurance-seeking.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
There’s this one situation that I haven’t stopped thinking about from last night . So basically, I was reading 'The power of Now' which is a book that I love so much and really got me into spirituality. It’s been so helpful for my OCD and rumination but it’s also been pretty triggering for it as of late, so I’ve taken a long break from consistently reading it. The excerpt I read was about abundance and how its not about being bountiful, necessarily in material things but realizing and being grateful for the things that exist in your life now and in doing so, you will open yourself up to more good things. I understood it but I re-read it a lot because I didn't feel confident enough to explain it to someone else. but otherwise I LOVED IT. It made me feel so at peace, I agreed with it, and it gave me hope to start focusing on the good things in my life rather than the bad. So when I went to bed I rehearsed myself explaining it to someone on a podcast and then all these questions started flooding in like “why should I only focus on the good and aren't we supposed to accept the good and bad? Aren’t those the values of Buddha and spirituality” “Ya, we're supposed to accept the good and the bad but why?- so we can feel more good??? And isn't the point of OCD to not label things as good and bad? and why should I focus on the good- so I can feel good? why should I feel good? because I'm worthy of it? why am I worthy of it? because I'm a good person and do good things? well I’ve also done bad things so why shouldn't I consider that. I just don’t understand why I should feel good without it being selfish. And then this went on for like 2 or 3 hours. Like holy shit. I over explain these ideas and concepts that I resonate with to the point where they don't even make sense to me anymore. It becomes very existensial very quick. And I’m not suicidal but these questions make me feel hopeless in society for some reason?? And myself. Like if everything contradicts everything then what’s the point to life? If nothing can be understood or explained in a senseful way, then how do people move forward and make decisions, like AT ALL? There’s never a right or perfect answer and I feel like with any decision I make in regards, I’m doing a compulsion either way. If I don’t answer them, then I’m avoiding it and if I do then I’m checking and seeking reassurance. I’m sorry if this was way too long and over-explained I just need some advice or to know if anyone can relate in any way. Also, I’m sorry if some of those back-to-back questions were triggering.
- Date posted
- 19w
I honestly can’t tell when thoughts are being affected by OCD. Sometimes I think I have what I think are normal “grey” thoughts, but then OCD adds so much weight to them and I spiral. I had this thought that I wished my boyfriend was more confident or independent. I felt so guilty for thinking it. I told him, and of course it hurt him. He told me it’s a normal thought to have, I just dwell on it too much. And that it’s the kind of thought most people keep to themselves. That’s the thing. I don’t know what’s okay to keep to myself and what isn’t. I think sometimes I say things out loud not just to relieve anxiety, but because I genuinely don’t know what’s okay to think or say. I do not know the line between a normal grey thought and something that’s “bad” to think. I don’t know how to tell if it’s something I should process privately or something I need to be ashamed of. I get this confusion with intrusive thoughts too, but those are easier to spot and evaluate. This is harder, because again, it is *my* thought. That makes it harder to sit with. Maybe the intrusive part is the voice that questions what kind of person I am for even thinking it. I don’t have the same telltale signs anymore. My physical anxiety isn’t there anymore, it’s all in my head and that makes it so much more confusing. But I don’t know. The line between honesty vs compulsion is so blurry. I just feel lost
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- Date posted
- 17w
I've been told a lot that in order to get better, we need to tolerate uncertainty, which yea I get that and I'm trying every day more and more to reach that point!! But I've also been told that we need to tolerate uncertainty AND "our worst fears becoming true". Like how does that work, especially with POCD, OCD about a///ault, SA and all of that? Like that is really difficult for me and I don't really understand how I'm supposed to just shrug stuff like that off
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