- Username
- OCDcoper
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Sry to ask but what to do to keep my mind ready for ocd? Like im feeling good but im scared of this thing controlling me again.. anything to make me ready for ocd attacks in future? I cant do erp because i cant give meaning to thoughts right niw
Don’t apologize when asking for advice! There isn’t really anything that you can do to prepare for an attack. I do know that attacks usually come after a build up of anxiety. If you can catch compulsions and obsessions when you start to notice them and stop them right away, then they shouldn’t blow up in your face. Just know that you have the tools to combat the OCD if you need to. Your OCD shouldn’t be something that you’re afraid of. Believe in your ability to use the tools to fight it if you need to. And just enjoy the fact that you are feeling good right now. That’s a huge accomplishment:)
Please Give me some ideas for exposure I have pocd and real event
Can you elaborate on some of your obsessions?
@grace470 I get nervous to be around kids And after I spend time with them I keep wondering if I did something inappropriate. And the real event is about something I did when I was 13 and ocd is trying to make me believe I'm a bad person.
@Diego Unfortunately the only way to combat an obsessive thought like that is to do exactly what you are afraid of. Maybe start off by being around children but also having a trusted adult there. That way you can get through the situation knowing that if you had done something inappropriate, the adult would have noticed. After you can realize that you can be around children without doing anything, remove the adult. Spend time with kids by yourself and sit with the uncertainty. The biggest thing about OCD is being uncomfortable and being okay with that. Once you get through the uncomfortableness, it gets easier. Hope that helps
@grace470 Ok I'll try Thanks
@Diego No problem
How did you beat HOCD?
Through lots of exposures. I’m a straight girl but I used to constantly worry that I liked other girls because my OCD thought that was bad. So I looked at pictures of girls in bikinis. I wrote stories about what would happen if I were alone with a girl, recorded them, and listened to them on repeat. I made sure that if I felt like I couldn’t be near a girl because I worried I was attracted to them, I’d stay right where I was. Overtime things became less anxiety-inducing and I realized that there were no true feelings behind any of the thoughts. I’m straight and my OCD just wanted to mess with me. Lmk if you want any ideas for exposures if this is something you struggle with.
@OCDcoper Yes! Do you have what’s app? I may want to hit you on the side privately and we also have a group of NOCD sufferers that was made not too long ago that’s really supportive and grown quite a bit that could also use your help. Here’s a link to join ?: https://chat.whatsapp.com/KO9dl7S22z4ITZI6OYX3bf
@OCDcoper Just introduce yourself when you join so we can figure out who you are and then I’ll message you on the side
@OCDcoper Anyone else on this thread can join the group!
@OCDcoper If you haven’t joined, which is fine, I’ll just ask directly here. My HOCD is similar to yours but I’m a guy and basically what has happened is any time I think a guy is attractive or notice attractive features (musucular, strong jaw line, etc.) my brain says i must be sexually attracted. Or my brain will compare that “feeling” with the normal one i get with girls and I can’t tell the difference. I’ve done tons of exposures to topless men and looked at handsome guys but it seems like I do the ERP as a compulsion to get rid of the anxiety/thoughts. And now I physically feel a tension headache that forms in my head everytime I get anxious by these thoughts. I no longer feel that anxious, but my brain automatically gives me the uncomfortable head pain so I used to think doing more exposures would get rid of that. Do I need to keep doing these exposures or just let the thoughts come up when they come naturally (scrolling through Instagram or other social medi) say “ok cool” and move on?
@evkrey I joined the group! ?
@199903 Great! ? we’ll beat this thing together
@evkrey Sorry I haven’t joined the group yet. I’m still deciding if I want to or not. But thank you for sharing your intrusive thoughts on the thread. I know that can be hard. My advice for you would be to do a combination of both. If the exposures are working and they get rid of your anxiety, don’t overthink it. They probably aren’t rituals unless you know it’s what the OCD is telling you to do. When these thoughts come up, tell yourself “you know what you’re right. This person may be attractive and that might mean I’m gay. I’ll never know.” These kinds of statements of uncertainty may feel uncomfortable at first but if you can sit through that, they’ll help you in the long run. OCD is a daily struggle! Just keep going with your tools to combat the thoughts when they come. You got this?
Hey. I am dealing with HOCD. How do you tackle with “memory checking” , and even if I accept that okay its okay if I am gay or bi or straight, it does not matter, then I start reassurance or checking, if I really am or not. How do you remove this habit or reassurance and how do you tackle the urge to. Thanks.
That’s a really good question. Instead of trying to check or reassure yourself during those times, you need to tell yourself “maybe I am gay or maybe I am bi.” You have to sit with that uncertainty and be uncomfortable. Don’t let yourself reassure, which I know is easier said than done. You need to have a certain mantra you say to yourself instead of reassurance. Like “I could be gay who knows?” or “ ill never know if I’m gay or bi.” These will fire up your OCD temporarily but help get rid of the thoughts in the long run.
@OCDcoper My situation is kind of a little different. I know OCD hits hard when stakes are very high, I am newly married. Never had sex before marriage. Yes I have always been attracted to girl as far as I can remember. If I say may be I am gay, (for me its okay, Its natural) but i dont want to lose my wife, my family and everything. I have a feat that if i ever not have intercourse with her she will know and my life is fucked then. Its just causes alot of frustration alot of anxiety which is turning into physical head pain now.
@croebaen I’m not an expert on relationships, but my suggestion would be to maybe talk to her about it. She must know that something is going on if you’ve never had intercourse since the marriage. Just because you say these mantras, doesn’t mean anything about the relationship that you have with your wife. It’s just a way to tackle the OCD. Maybe getting things out in the open will get rid of that pain. I’m sure your wife would support you but I understand that it can be a hard thing to share. Sorry I couldn’t be more of a help!
@OCDcoper Thank you.
How would you recommend to stop caring about bugs? I am worried about dead and/ or alive bugs on me, or my clothes. I want to be able to not freak out, when I see one.
Ultimately, the best exposure for that would to put a bug on your clothes and wear them like that for 45 minutes. But that can be a scary step so you probably want to work up to that. I would start by sitting next to a bug that’s in a container for 45 minutes. You should feel your anxiety levels decrease throughout the exposure. Once that becomes easy for you, move the bug to your clothes without you wearing them. Then wear them for 45 minutes after the bug has been on them. Then you can move up to the bug physically on the clothes when you wear them. It’s something that you kind of just have to tackle through the uncomfortableness.
My main theme is POCD, but this question could definitely be applied to themes like HOCD as well. I always fear “what if I’m attracted to kids? What if I’m missing the part of me that knows not to think those things like everyone else has? Will I ever be able to be around a kid or have a family if all I do is think sexual things about them?” These thoughts scare me a lot, and I’ve fused with them so much I find it hard to see a future where I can have a family and move on from this. I just want to be around children again like normal and live my life without always questioning if I’m attracted or not. Do you have any advice?
I would look at the earlier comments in this thread for some exposures I gave to do with kids. You need to spend time with kids where you think about the uncertainty of whether or not you are attracted to them. This will help you to realize that you aren’t attracted to them and that your OCD is just creating you to have these thoughts. And the questioning thing goes back to some other advice I gave somebody. You need to be able to tell yourself a mantra such as “I’ll never know if I’m attracted to kids” or “maybe I like kids.” This will be uncomfortable at first but you should soon realize how ridiculous your OCD thoughts are. Exposures like these help to distinguish between the rational and the irrational.
@OCDcoper Thank you for your response! I read the earlier reply, there are some good exposure ideas there. I’m starting ERP next week so hopefully I’ll be able to work on exposures such as that. Will I actually realize that it was just OCD and I’m not attracted though? When I try list out all the reasons I’m not attracted and why I want to have kids and why kids are great, I just feel more confused and now I’m scared I just think of kids in a sexual way and nothing else. I try to respond to the thoughts with “maybe, maybe not. Maybe I’ll never know” and that type of thing when I can. It’s so damn hard because it just feels 99% real to me. I’m sorry for the really whiney post but if you have any insight on this please let me know! Also, were you eventually able to learn you weren’t attracted to the same sex? Or is it still an unanswered question for you? Thanks ❤️❤️❤️
@199903 I understand the idea that it feels so real to you because it get super real to me. The fact that you are getting more confused just shows that your OCD is making your thinking spiral. If you feel yourself getting into that rabbit hole, try and distract yourself out of it. Don’t worry about the post being Whiny! Combating OCD is hard. I have a lot of crying fits in my past to prove that. Yes, I was able to learn that I am not attracted to the same sex. As I progressed through life I realized that I don’t have feelings for anyone who isn’t a boy. Sometimes you just have to have life experiences to point you in the right direction. I might get worried about it every now and then but I know how to shut the thoughts down. Good luck in your ERP! You got this:)
Hello, I have HOCD too and I am I need of some exposure ideas! My obsessive thoughts are that I’m gay and I’m just suppressing my feelings and I’m in denial and as a result I’ll have to break up with my boyfriend. I’ve looked at half naked and naked women and that was actually not too bad, also looked at lesbian couples and that wasn’t too bad either! Also is it normal that ofc through doing exposure, you feel less anxious and bothered by it but then you feel even more anxious because now you’re comfortable with the thought and that could really mean you’re gay? Thank you for being so helpful
Have you tried writing a scenario story out? If not, I would suggest you do that. Write a story about the worse case scenario that you can possibly think of. You break up with your boyfriend for a girl because you realize you are lesbian. You guys have sex all the time, etc. Make it super detailed and graphic. Then record yourself reading the story on your phone and listen to it over and over. Eventually the story should get boring and not elicit so much anxiety to think about. Yes! That is totally normal! In fact that’s the perfect example of an OCD spiral. When that happens, you need to come at it with the uncertainty thoughts and mantras. “Maybe I am gay, I’ll never know for sure,etc.” I have had similar OCD spirals with my thoughts and you need to shut them down so they don’t get worse. Hopefully you can try some of these exposure ideas and that they are helpful to you! Good luck! You got this:)
@OCDcoper Thank you so much, I’ll give it ago! X
How'd u get over HOCD this is the only theme I struggle with
If anyone needs help in exposures or something they are struggling with I’m open to help! I’ve been dealing with OCD, anxiety, and depression for a long time now. I’ve got a pretty firm understanding on the mechanism of OCD and ERP. I am struggling with depression strongly at the moment but I’ve seen large and tangible progress with ERP ?
I’m still in the process of recovering from HOCD but if anyone wants to reach out to me about cognitive behavioral therapy strategies or ERP strategies/ideas I’m here to help- just no reassurance! ;) you are so strong- keep on going! ?
Hi! My name is Mikhail. I have been diagnosed with OCD for a couple years now, and this year I started ERP therapy at NOCD. I first found out about Pure O from downloading NOCD's app and seeing other people post about their experiences with overthinking, fear, and shame. While I had been diagnosed with OCD before, I had never heard about Pure O, where the compulsions manifest themselves more internally. I was at a point in my life where I was isolating myself and afraid of the thoughts I was having all day every day. This eroded away my self-esteem and identity but the skills I learned doing ERP have helped me feel like myself again. I recommend doing ERP to anyone afflicted with OCD, as it has helped me train the mental muscles I needed to get back to my life again. NOCD specialists meet you where you are at and help you get better on your own terms. I have taken the opportunity to be an advocate because once I found out I wasn't alone with Pure OCD, it reignited the faith I had in ever recovering. Learning about other people's experiences and sharing my own has helped me live more authentically. I want to do anything I can to encourage others to recover as well, because I know it is possible and that this condition is manageable. Going through NOCD treatment invoked genuine compassion in me not just for others, but for myself, which is something I never truly felt before. If you have any questions at all, please reach out to me. I feel purpose in connecting with people about OCD and getting better together. Believe me, you are not the only one who has thought that crazy thing and then thought about thinking about it 17 more times until it impacted your behavior!
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