Hey. I’m not a therapist or anything, but I love helping people. I was diagnosed with OCD about 10 years ago and I have been through many therapists and exposures since. I’d like to think that I know a lot about treating OCD and that my knowledge or experiences could help other people. Please comment below if you need any advice. I have lots of experience with HOCD and compulsions in general. I know that OCD can be hard because I have it, but it’s made me a stronger person and it’s taught me a lot that I’d love to share.

Can you elaborate on some of your obsessions?

@grace470 I get nervous to be around kids And after I spend time with them I keep wondering if I did something inappropriate. And the real event is about something I did when I was 13 and ocd is trying to make me believe I'm a bad person.

@Diego Unfortunately the only way to combat an obsessive thought like that is to do exactly what you are afraid of. Maybe start off by being around children but also having a trusted adult there. That way you can get through the situation knowing that if you had done something inappropriate, the adult would have noticed. After you can realize that you can be around children without doing anything, remove the adult. Spend time with kids by yourself and sit with the uncertainty. The biggest thing about OCD is being uncomfortable and being okay with that. Once you get through the uncomfortableness, it gets easier. Hope that helps

@grace470 Ok I'll try Thanks

@Diego No problem

Through lots of exposures. I’m a straight girl but I used to constantly worry that I liked other girls because my OCD thought that was bad. So I looked at pictures of girls in bikinis. I wrote stories about what would happen if I were alone with a girl, recorded them, and listened to them on repeat. I made sure that if I felt like I couldn’t be near a girl because I worried I was attracted to them, I’d stay right where I was. Overtime things became less anxiety-inducing and I realized that there were no true feelings behind any of the thoughts. I’m straight and my OCD just wanted to mess with me. Lmk if you want any ideas for exposures if this is something you struggle with.

@OCDcoper Yes! Do you have what’s app? I may want to hit you on the side privately and we also have a group of NOCD sufferers that was made not too long ago that’s really supportive and grown quite a bit that could also use your help. Here’s a link to join ?: https://chat.whatsapp.com/KO9dl7S22z4ITZI6OYX3bf

@OCDcoper Just introduce yourself when you join so we can figure out who you are and then I’ll message you on the side

@OCDcoper Anyone else on this thread can join the group!

@OCDcoper If you haven’t joined, which is fine, I’ll just ask directly here. My HOCD is similar to yours but I’m a guy and basically what has happened is any time I think a guy is attractive or notice attractive features (musucular, strong jaw line, etc.) my brain says i must be sexually attracted. Or my brain will compare that “feeling” with the normal one i get with girls and I can’t tell the difference. I’ve done tons of exposures to topless men and looked at handsome guys but it seems like I do the ERP as a compulsion to get rid of the anxiety/thoughts. And now I physically feel a tension headache that forms in my head everytime I get anxious by these thoughts. I no longer feel that anxious, but my brain automatically gives me the uncomfortable head pain so I used to think doing more exposures would get rid of that. Do I need to keep doing these exposures or just let the thoughts come up when they come naturally (scrolling through Instagram or other social medi) say “ok cool” and move on?

@evkrey I joined the group! ?

@199903 Great! ? we’ll beat this thing together

@evkrey Sorry I haven’t joined the group yet. I’m still deciding if I want to or not. But thank you for sharing your intrusive thoughts on the thread. I know that can be hard. My advice for you would be to do a combination of both. If the exposures are working and they get rid of your anxiety, don’t overthink it. They probably aren’t rituals unless you know it’s what the OCD is telling you to do. When these thoughts come up, tell yourself “you know what you’re right. This person may be attractive and that might mean I’m gay. I’ll never know.” These kinds of statements of uncertainty may feel uncomfortable at first but if you can sit through that, they’ll help you in the long run. OCD is a daily struggle! Just keep going with your tools to combat the thoughts when they come. You got this?

That’s a really good question. Instead of trying to check or reassure yourself during those times, you need to tell yourself “maybe I am gay or maybe I am bi.” You have to sit with that uncertainty and be uncomfortable. Don’t let yourself reassure, which I know is easier said than done. You need to have a certain mantra you say to yourself instead of reassurance. Like “I could be gay who knows?” or “ ill never know if I’m gay or bi.” These will fire up your OCD temporarily but help get rid of the thoughts in the long run.

@OCDcoper My situation is kind of a little different. I know OCD hits hard when stakes are very high, I am newly married. Never had sex before marriage. Yes I have always been attracted to girl as far as I can remember. If I say may be I am gay, (for me its okay, Its natural) but i dont want to lose my wife, my family and everything. I have a feat that if i ever not have intercourse with her she will know and my life is fucked then. Its just causes alot of frustration alot of anxiety which is turning into physical head pain now.

@croebaen I’m not an expert on relationships, but my suggestion would be to maybe talk to her about it. She must know that something is going on if you’ve never had intercourse since the marriage. Just because you say these mantras, doesn’t mean anything about the relationship that you have with your wife. It’s just a way to tackle the OCD. Maybe getting things out in the open will get rid of that pain. I’m sure your wife would support you but I understand that it can be a hard thing to share. Sorry I couldn’t be more of a help!

@OCDcoper Thank you.

Ultimately, the best exposure for that would to put a bug on your clothes and wear them like that for 45 minutes. But that can be a scary step so you probably want to work up to that. I would start by sitting next to a bug that’s in a container for 45 minutes. You should feel your anxiety levels decrease throughout the exposure. Once that becomes easy for you, move the bug to your clothes without you wearing them. Then wear them for 45 minutes after the bug has been on them. Then you can move up to the bug physically on the clothes when you wear them. It’s something that you kind of just have to tackle through the uncomfortableness.

I would look at the earlier comments in this thread for some exposures I gave to do with kids. You need to spend time with kids where you think about the uncertainty of whether or not you are attracted to them. This will help you to realize that you aren’t attracted to them and that your OCD is just creating you to have these thoughts. And the questioning thing goes back to some other advice I gave somebody. You need to be able to tell yourself a mantra such as “I’ll never know if I’m attracted to kids” or “maybe I like kids.” This will be uncomfortable at first but you should soon realize how ridiculous your OCD thoughts are. Exposures like these help to distinguish between the rational and the irrational.

@OCDcoper Thank you for your response! I read the earlier reply, there are some good exposure ideas there. I’m starting ERP next week so hopefully I’ll be able to work on exposures such as that. Will I actually realize that it was just OCD and I’m not attracted though? When I try list out all the reasons I’m not attracted and why I want to have kids and why kids are great, I just feel more confused and now I’m scared I just think of kids in a sexual way and nothing else. I try to respond to the thoughts with “maybe, maybe not. Maybe I’ll never know” and that type of thing when I can. It’s so damn hard because it just feels 99% real to me. I’m sorry for the really whiney post but if you have any insight on this please let me know! Also, were you eventually able to learn you weren’t attracted to the same sex? Or is it still an unanswered question for you? Thanks ❤️❤️❤️

@199903 I understand the idea that it feels so real to you because it get super real to me. The fact that you are getting more confused just shows that your OCD is making your thinking spiral. If you feel yourself getting into that rabbit hole, try and distract yourself out of it. Don’t worry about the post being Whiny! Combating OCD is hard. I have a lot of crying fits in my past to prove that. Yes, I was able to learn that I am not attracted to the same sex. As I progressed through life I realized that I don’t have feelings for anyone who isn’t a boy. Sometimes you just have to have life experiences to point you in the right direction. I might get worried about it every now and then but I know how to shut the thoughts down. Good luck in your ERP! You got this:)

Have you tried writing a scenario story out? If not, I would suggest you do that. Write a story about the worse case scenario that you can possibly think of. You break up with your boyfriend for a girl because you realize you are lesbian. You guys have sex all the time, etc. Make it super detailed and graphic. Then record yourself reading the story on your phone and listen to it over and over. Eventually the story should get boring and not elicit so much anxiety to think about. Yes! That is totally normal! In fact that’s the perfect example of an OCD spiral. When that happens, you need to come at it with the uncertainty thoughts and mantras. “Maybe I am gay, I’ll never know for sure,etc.” I have had similar OCD spirals with my thoughts and you need to shut them down so they don’t get worse. Hopefully you can try some of these exposure ideas and that they are helpful to you! Good luck! You got this:)

@OCDcoper Thank you so much, I’ll give it ago! X