- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
T. I told you what you need to do and work on. I’ve done intense imaginable exposure on this and utilised ACT - it takes months but you have to take the leap of faith and reclaim who you want to be. Fuck what is cunting bully called OCD is telling you. You can be who you want to be, it might taunt you-but it will NEVER have the ability to control you beyond reach. Build you self trust - challenge the dragon and increase confidence. It will back off eventually. You know this already, so give yourself what you deserve and fight the beast. We are behind you all the way
- Date posted
- 6y
My therapist has taught me a lot of new skills. Always wear a rubber band and When you have a bad thought snap it. Don’t hurt yourself ? but I think it helps calm me down. Also if you have any compulsions try really hard not to act on them. Journaling and exercising also help. I’ve been where you are. You’re not alone.
- Date posted
- 6y
And remember OCD makes a big deal out of every bad thought.... most people have odd thoughts but they think about it for a second and say nah that’s not possible and it goes away. People can’t control thinking so well when you have OCD
- Date posted
- 6y
Acceptance of dreadful thoughts like this is very difficult, but the brain has to re evaluate its relationship to them if you force it to. It simply doesn’t have a choice in the long run. That’s why the program changes as you change. Leap of faith.
- Date posted
- 6y
sexualized*** I see autocorrect mucked it up both times sorry
- Date posted
- 6y
@Crazylady thank you for your comments.... My anxiety about this just never really goes away, you know?
- Date posted
- 6y
@Soniclen thank you for your advice, I try to follow all the advice given to me but when I'm anxious it's like nothing I've heard exists. I focus only on the fact that I'm anxious and that a bad thought caused me to be anxious and I try to figure out why I focus on/had the bad thought and why anxiety was the result which I KNOW doesn't help.... but it's almost like I can't help it when I'm anxious because all my bad thoughts feel true. I know the experience isn't unique to me, I just have a hard time believing I truly do have ocd even though my therapist said I do. I'm just so afraid that I really don't and that my thoughts mean something. *trigger warning* And I don't have a history of being abused as a child or anything, I developed this after getting intrusive thoughts when I learned a little girl who lived in my town was sexually abused. It didn't affect me like this at first, but I would periodically get intrusive thoughts after that and they absolutely destroyed me. I didn't really develop this full on obsession until after I was having a rough patch with intrusive thoughts and while simultaneously learning about Freud and psychoanalysis (I'm a psych major). Needless to say that completely freaked me out and I developed this obsession and it seems the thoughts have only gotten worse since, even though they weren't like that in the beginning and have only gotten like that these past months (the beginning of the school year when I learned about Freud in my university class). I feel like I've heard all the advice but because I still doubt that I have ocd it's so hard for me to apply it.... As the thoughts have gotten worse, I've also worried that I have or will begin to "enjoy" them, which rips me to shreds. I'm so sorry for the terribly long reply, I just felt the need to explain myself. Even though that doesn't really change anything. Even so, I appreciate your reply so so much. Thank you ?
- Date posted
- 6y
T. I will get back to you on this. You and I are very similar. And there are the core themes. ‘Will allowing these sick thoughts and images train my brain to like the ideas presented sexually, even if I’m repulsed morally?’ ‘What will others think of me if they knew I thought these things, even though I didn’t want to?’ Neither of these have perfect answers. But neither have to control you either. Mine were and are bad because mine are tied to sensory information too making those that replicate my abuse by my cousin particularly dreadful. But exposure is exposure. I’ve come to accept that some learned behaviour is there and it is technically possible such a dreadful predilection could develop. But it could in anyone. So I focus on who I want to be, and practise self forgiveness for thoughts I NEVER ASKED FOR OR WANTED!. I’m trying to trust my brain that while it is given allowance to process such dreadful thoughts, that it will simultaneously hold onto its natural preferences and beliefs. Those beliefs are still in your head along with the worries. It just needs to unlearn the fear, not your intimate preferences. Again - self trust, fake it till you make it. You’re building circuitry here. Give it time.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
TW So I haven’t been diagnosed with pocd, but many ppl said that I have it. I was in bed when I remembered this time when I first started experiencing what I hope is false attraction not actual pedophilia, I’m looking back on it rn n I’m worried it wasn’t false attraction, I remember feeling a sense of attraction when I saw that kid, I was about14 at the time and the kid was 11 or 12. I remember constantly searching to see if it was normal for a 14 year old to like a 12 or 11 year old, I was worried when I was doing that i think, I also kept walking pass her to look at her i think to check if i was attracted or not, but it makes me worried that I was attracted to her because im worried that i did it bc i was actually attracted. now looking back on it rn, I don’t feel panic, worry, shame, or guilt, I originally only felt panic and worry, never shame or guilt. Now I don’t feel any of it, not feeling panic and worry now makes me think that I am a p, I don’t want to be a p. I hope im not a p, Ive talked to a therapist and they’ve said that it’s pocd, but it wasn’t a official diagnosis, I’m worried it was a false diagnosis because I lied on one or two of the questions. I also constantly get senses of what I hope is false attraction when I see some kids, and I keep trying to figure out if it is real or false attraction. Also some other time today I was feeling aroused and I wanted to m#sturbate, but then thoughts of kids started popping up, I think that I didn’t like them, I’m not sure any more, but while I was finishing the thoughts kept comigg by, idk what it means but it felt like I enjoyed it, which made me worried, but after I finished the thoughts disappeared a lot more, idk why that happened idk what it means, could someone give me some advice pls?? I don’t wanna be a pedo. All of that happening makes me feel like I am one, can someone give me advice on what’s happening and what I am??
- Date posted
- 21w
so I’ve been seeking therapy for my OCD for a few years. The theme that I’ve been dealing with most recently is the fear of becoming a pedophile, which then has led to intrusive images of me doing things to kids.Which now is just causing me so much distress and 24/7 constant thought cycle. I am starting to not be able to tell the difference between thoughts that are wanted/ unwanted- the line has become some blurry and these things are starting to feel like someothing i want to do. My brain keeps telling me to just test these thoughts and the “maybe”or”i don’t know” isn’t working. This has become such a barrier because the second layer is that I’m afraid that if I just let the thoughts be there it’ll make me be OK with doing those things and the fear is what’s keeping me from actually doing something inappropriate. It’s also transitioned into intrusive thoughts and images of me doing something very disgusting to my dog and that when I’m cuddling with him I get the thoughts to just do it or try it to see if i am actually a p*do. it’s almost like the compulsion would be to do the inappropriate thing, even though I know it’s wrong just to see how it would make me feel. I feel like i can’t control these urges even though i’ve never acted on it. At any point i could just do it. I’ve never had these thoughts before up until about a year and a half ago when my friend‘s boyfriend got arrested for soliciting a minor then all these thoughts came to life.Has anyone experienced something like this and have any advice?
- Date posted
- 18w
Im 16 years old and female and up until very late last year and this year I’ve been having thought almost every day that I’m a pedophile or that I’m sexually attracted to or want a romantic relationship with child. I don’t know how to explain it and I don’t want judgment because I’m genuinely so scared and disgusted, but anytime I’m around children I feel my chest tighten, my body feels warm and it feels like I don’t know how to breathe. I sometimes get a groomer response but even then I don’t know if it’s a ground response or not. Also I tend to stare at children when I’m anywhere near them, I feel like if I don’t I’m a weirdo and if I don’t look at them it means I’m attracted to them which I guess could be POCD but I feel like I stare at them inappropriately. Not too long ago maybe three weeks ago I went to the park with my family and there were two girls in their swim suits and I was looking at their backsides and I felt really anxious and scared like I usually do but I felt so upset by looking at them that way and now I’m scared to go to pools or splash pads because every time I do I feel like I stare at them gross and I just feel so disgusted with myself. When I tell myself not to look I end up looking and then I stare. I feel better when I’m not around them but even then, I look back at what I saw earlier that day and I feel anxious again and then I look up what’s been happening and then I feel more worried it’s not OCD. My friends who have OCD say I might have it but I can’t get a therapist, I can’t talk to anyone I’m scared I’ll be put in jail and that I’m not a good person. I’ve never head thoughts like this until this year and near the end of last year and they come now? I don’t know what to do.
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