Has anyone on here gotten engaged / been married while struggling with OCD? If so, I would love some tips on how to enjoy life’s big moments through OCD. ??

I am stronge...

Date posted: 5y

I have been happily married for 8 years and have had children. Honestly OCD has not taken away any of those big moments from me. My husband is very supportive and kind. My advice is to be open with your spouse about your OCD and not use OCD as an excuse ever to be unkind to them. I have apologized to my husband countless times when I was grumpy because of OCD. Seek treatment. I recommend listening to Ali reymond or mark Freeman if you have not. They helped me a lot with my OCD.

Chairo

Date posted: 5y

I have not listened to them before and will definitely check them out! I struggle with pure O that consists of consistent doubting and obsession with needing to know for certain. So often times it leads to relationship OCD where I question how much I love my fiancé. He is absolutely incredible and soooo supportive of my and open with me about my OCD. But my anxiety flairs up when we start talking about planning the wedding. We’ve already cancelled one because of covid and are now looking to plan for the future and I feel my anxiety and questioning heightening.

Chairo

Date posted: 5y

And THANK YOU SO MUCH for sharing your story. It means a lot ??

Chairo

Date posted: 5y

Oh and I’m also SUPER ANXIOUS about having children in the future. I mean the thoughts I have about it....sheesh.

ARTnotOCD

Date posted: 5y

Literally tomorrow is my 2 year wedding anniversary, but we had been together for about 15 years before that. Even two years ago today, I was getting a little stuck with things, (I publicly eloped on a beach, but OCD still wanted things “perfect”), but I was to the point where my brother’s girlfriend just said one little thing about something not really needing to be done, and I let things go. Sure, I had to remind myself that a few times later, but that’s where I’m at with OCD on a greater level. I have learned ways to let it go sometimes, especially when I’m caught up in bliss. And my partner is a wonderful ally now. He may never really understand OCD, but he understands enough about it and me to be helpful. And even though I have some dark times, I am able to be there for him when he needs me. OCD can make all sorts of things in life seem too hard, but you can do those things; really, you can. ?

Chairo

Date posted: 5y

Thank you so much for sharing your story! We are actually planning to elope or do a court house marriage. We have had complication with covid and kinda just want to get it done and celebrate with family and friends down the road when there isn’t such a health threat. I definitely need to practice letting go. I’m more obsessive over being certain that we will be together forever and that we are soul mates and in love. When I’m in the moment I don’t think about these things but when big plans like the wedding come up I can spiral. P.s. I love your user name. I am an artist and that has been an incredible outlet for me with OCD.

ARTnotOCD

Date posted: 5y

@Cnm@1210 Aww, thanks. Honestly I absolutely loved my wedding day so much. Big parties are nice, but eloping was so relaxing. And even though we didn’t have a pandemic that year, we still feel like we could always throw a big party later sometime for people who want to celebrate. I know what you mean about OCD and “forever” in marriage, soulmates, etc. To more extent than we’d like, we can’t control that. But you can vow to yourself and your partner to always work on your relationship. I really wish you and your partner the best. ?

Chairo

Date posted: 5y

@ARTnotOCD It sounds lovely! Thanks so much I really appreciate it! I might reach back out on this thread. I really don’t have any other women I know with OCD to talk to.

Notcrazy

Date posted: 5y

I have been married for 4 years. My husband is also very supportive and patient and I think that's really important. He's also my main motivation for getting all the treatment I need including medication, ERP and self help because I know it affects his life too and it's not just about me anymore. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me and even though OCD makes it hard to function sometimes I'm alwaya so grateful to have him by my side and that feeling has never gone away.

Chairo

Date posted: 5y

Thank you for sharing this with me. These comments bring a wave of calm over me and very helpful. I think I do I have to remind myself that I can do it! (In fact I am doing it everyday). I just get so stuck in my head that it makes me feel like I need to act on my doubts which basically would ruin my life. Honestly. Thanks again I really appreciate the time it takes to comment on here ?

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