- Username
- Chairo
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I have been happily married for 8 years and have had children. Honestly OCD has not taken away any of those big moments from me. My husband is very supportive and kind. My advice is to be open with your spouse about your OCD and not use OCD as an excuse ever to be unkind to them. I have apologized to my husband countless times when I was grumpy because of OCD. Seek treatment. I recommend listening to Ali reymond or mark Freeman if you have not. They helped me a lot with my OCD.
I have not listened to them before and will definitely check them out! I struggle with pure O that consists of consistent doubting and obsession with needing to know for certain. So often times it leads to relationship OCD where I question how much I love my fiancé. He is absolutely incredible and soooo supportive of my and open with me about my OCD. But my anxiety flairs up when we start talking about planning the wedding. We’ve already cancelled one because of covid and are now looking to plan for the future and I feel my anxiety and questioning heightening.
And THANK YOU SO MUCH for sharing your story. It means a lot ??
Oh and I’m also SUPER ANXIOUS about having children in the future. I mean the thoughts I have about it....sheesh.
Literally tomorrow is my 2 year wedding anniversary, but we had been together for about 15 years before that. Even two years ago today, I was getting a little stuck with things, (I publicly eloped on a beach, but OCD still wanted things “perfect”), but I was to the point where my brother’s girlfriend just said one little thing about something not really needing to be done, and I let things go. Sure, I had to remind myself that a few times later, but that’s where I’m at with OCD on a greater level. I have learned ways to let it go sometimes, especially when I’m caught up in bliss. And my partner is a wonderful ally now. He may never really understand OCD, but he understands enough about it and me to be helpful. And even though I have some dark times, I am able to be there for him when he needs me. OCD can make all sorts of things in life seem too hard, but you can do those things; really, you can. ?
Thank you so much for sharing your story! We are actually planning to elope or do a court house marriage. We have had complication with covid and kinda just want to get it done and celebrate with family and friends down the road when there isn’t such a health threat. I definitely need to practice letting go. I’m more obsessive over being certain that we will be together forever and that we are soul mates and in love. When I’m in the moment I don’t think about these things but when big plans like the wedding come up I can spiral. P.s. I love your user name. I am an artist and that has been an incredible outlet for me with OCD.
@Cnm@1210 Aww, thanks. Honestly I absolutely loved my wedding day so much. Big parties are nice, but eloping was so relaxing. And even though we didn’t have a pandemic that year, we still feel like we could always throw a big party later sometime for people who want to celebrate. I know what you mean about OCD and “forever” in marriage, soulmates, etc. To more extent than we’d like, we can’t control that. But you can vow to yourself and your partner to always work on your relationship. I really wish you and your partner the best. ?
@ARTnotOCD It sounds lovely! Thanks so much I really appreciate it! I might reach back out on this thread. I really don’t have any other women I know with OCD to talk to.
I have been married for 4 years. My husband is also very supportive and patient and I think that's really important. He's also my main motivation for getting all the treatment I need including medication, ERP and self help because I know it affects his life too and it's not just about me anymore. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me and even though OCD makes it hard to function sometimes I'm alwaya so grateful to have him by my side and that feeling has never gone away.
Thank you for sharing this with me. These comments bring a wave of calm over me and very helpful. I think I do I have to remind myself that I can do it! (In fact I am doing it everyday). I just get so stuck in my head that it makes me feel like I need to act on my doubts which basically would ruin my life. Honestly. Thanks again I really appreciate the time it takes to comment on here ?
This is just kind of a rant but any encouragement would be so much appreciated, thank you ❤️ I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years. He is incredible, kind, funny, smart, hardworking, so so loving-just an extremely good person. In 2021 I developed or at least recognized my OCD. I’ve been diagnosed with OCD, anxiety and depression, definitely quite the list. Each of these conditions mingle with each other and make life very difficult at times. At the beginning it centered around me being a bad person but slowly grew to be relationship OCD. I have fears that I don’t really love him, I’m not actually attracted to him, I’m going to cheat on him, he doesn’t make me happy or that he would be better without me and is a better person than me. Lately I have this fear that one day not to far away he will prepose to me and I won’t be excited. Or that he will feel more for me then I do for him, or that I will have to fake my excitement. I have this vision of myself feeling nothing when he asks me and having to fake it. It’s just such a sickening thought to imagine not feeling the intense joy I always knew I would feel if he proposed to me. It’s so strange because before I had bad OCD I used to dream of that day, I would ask if he thought he might prepose to me one day and if his answer wasn’t certain enough I would feel very sad. It’s terrible because I’ll get depressed and feel nothing positive for any aspect of the world-including my relationship, but OCD will take that and twist it into me not feeling anything positive for him. Which will in turn make me feel more depressed. You ever just want to hide and pause the world for a little while so you can catch your breath? It feels like the weeks go by so slowly but still suddenly I’m nearly grown up.
Me and my Fiancé get married in 3 months. We have been together for almost 3yrs now. I started dealing with OCD and different subtypes around Mid 2022 without knowing it was OCD. (Im not officially diagnosed btw) Because I didn't know it was OCD for a long time all i did was confess and confess to my Fiancé, mainly things about my past some from my distant past and some from my more recent past. Eventually my OCD switched themes and all of sudden now i was having intrusive thoughts. Present intrusive thoughts that's when I learned about ROCD and I immediately felt identified. Anyways i was barely learning about compulsions and how to resist them so i was still not doing good regarding my confessions and i began to now confess my intrusive thoughts. Afterwards as OCD usually does i started obsessing over the most trivial things in my past, i started dealing with Real Event/False Memory OCD I confessed about that too. All the way to present time. I have gotten better at resisting my main compulsion which is confessing, yet i still fail from time to time. What has happened now is that my Fiancé is getting affected. She is the most patient, supportive & kind woman i have ever met. She is literally an angel from heaven and has been by my side through my/our darkest times. However lately she hasn't been feeling well. Due to our economical situation we've decided to move back to my hometown after the wedding. This is difficult for her of course because she has to leave behind. Family, Friends, her job and basically what has been her whole life till now. The thing is that she tell's me that all of that would be easier if she knew she was giving it up for something that's gonna last and she feels like my constant confessing and my intrusive thoughts is just me secretly telling her that I'm not sure about being with her. Keep in mind, she knows about my ROCD, I've explained it, we've read articles together, watched videos about it together. Even then she tells me to try to look at things from her side and how its not easy for her to deal with this change in her life and feel like she has to keep us together as well. I've also felt like OCD has changed who i am. I used to be confident, positive, spontaneous, detailed and romantic. Now all my energy seems to be focused on just getting through the day with my thoughts. So I understand that she hasn't been feeling swooned lately. Specially after so much time of me being the amazing boyfriend. I guess what im trying to figure out is how to deal with all of this. How do i deal with my ROCD and support my Fiancé at the same time. How can I reassure her i love her and that I don't have any doubts about being with her depsite what i feel or think. I don't mind my OCD hurting me or torturing me. But not her, i just want her to be happy. If anyone is going through something similar or has any advice it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. Life is so hard.
I would be overjoyed to hear some positive experiences of people who have successful romantic relationships despite their OCD.
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