- Username
- Chairo
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I have been happily married for 8 years and have had children. Honestly OCD has not taken away any of those big moments from me. My husband is very supportive and kind. My advice is to be open with your spouse about your OCD and not use OCD as an excuse ever to be unkind to them. I have apologized to my husband countless times when I was grumpy because of OCD. Seek treatment. I recommend listening to Ali reymond or mark Freeman if you have not. They helped me a lot with my OCD.
I have not listened to them before and will definitely check them out! I struggle with pure O that consists of consistent doubting and obsession with needing to know for certain. So often times it leads to relationship OCD where I question how much I love my fiancé. He is absolutely incredible and soooo supportive of my and open with me about my OCD. But my anxiety flairs up when we start talking about planning the wedding. We’ve already cancelled one because of covid and are now looking to plan for the future and I feel my anxiety and questioning heightening.
And THANK YOU SO MUCH for sharing your story. It means a lot ??
Oh and I’m also SUPER ANXIOUS about having children in the future. I mean the thoughts I have about it....sheesh.
Literally tomorrow is my 2 year wedding anniversary, but we had been together for about 15 years before that. Even two years ago today, I was getting a little stuck with things, (I publicly eloped on a beach, but OCD still wanted things “perfect”), but I was to the point where my brother’s girlfriend just said one little thing about something not really needing to be done, and I let things go. Sure, I had to remind myself that a few times later, but that’s where I’m at with OCD on a greater level. I have learned ways to let it go sometimes, especially when I’m caught up in bliss. And my partner is a wonderful ally now. He may never really understand OCD, but he understands enough about it and me to be helpful. And even though I have some dark times, I am able to be there for him when he needs me. OCD can make all sorts of things in life seem too hard, but you can do those things; really, you can. ?
Thank you so much for sharing your story! We are actually planning to elope or do a court house marriage. We have had complication with covid and kinda just want to get it done and celebrate with family and friends down the road when there isn’t such a health threat. I definitely need to practice letting go. I’m more obsessive over being certain that we will be together forever and that we are soul mates and in love. When I’m in the moment I don’t think about these things but when big plans like the wedding come up I can spiral. P.s. I love your user name. I am an artist and that has been an incredible outlet for me with OCD.
@Cnm@1210 Aww, thanks. Honestly I absolutely loved my wedding day so much. Big parties are nice, but eloping was so relaxing. And even though we didn’t have a pandemic that year, we still feel like we could always throw a big party later sometime for people who want to celebrate. I know what you mean about OCD and “forever” in marriage, soulmates, etc. To more extent than we’d like, we can’t control that. But you can vow to yourself and your partner to always work on your relationship. I really wish you and your partner the best. ?
@ARTnotOCD It sounds lovely! Thanks so much I really appreciate it! I might reach back out on this thread. I really don’t have any other women I know with OCD to talk to.
I have been married for 4 years. My husband is also very supportive and patient and I think that's really important. He's also my main motivation for getting all the treatment I need including medication, ERP and self help because I know it affects his life too and it's not just about me anymore. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me and even though OCD makes it hard to function sometimes I'm alwaya so grateful to have him by my side and that feeling has never gone away.
Thank you for sharing this with me. These comments bring a wave of calm over me and very helpful. I think I do I have to remind myself that I can do it! (In fact I am doing it everyday). I just get so stuck in my head that it makes me feel like I need to act on my doubts which basically would ruin my life. Honestly. Thanks again I really appreciate the time it takes to comment on here ?
Hi all - so over a period of nearly eight years, I have experienced intense ROCD (relationship OCD) with my partner. Last week we got engaged, this wasn't a huge surprise as we were talking about it for months in advance. My intrusive thoughts tend to flare up really badly in times of change, even positive change. When we graduated university, when we moved to our flat, and when I started my job are all times I've had flare ups so the fact that I'm having another flare up now shouldn't have come as a shock - but I'm finding it so hard to cope with. The night of our engagement, after about five mins of initial anxiety from the shock, I was on cloud nine and couldn't wait to tell friends and family and begin planning our wedding. However, the next day, the rumination began. "Have I made a terrible mistake, do I really love him, am I just settling, everyone is so happy for us but I'm faking my emotions, if we're supposed to spend the rest of our lives together I should be happy, not anxious, etc." this has totally ruined our first week of what should be the happiest time of our lives. There are zero red flags in our relationship, in fact, the night before we got engaged I remember thinking to myself that I had honestly never been happier. I'm super lucky in that my partner knows about my anxiety, is so thoughtful, and has been constantly reassuring me that all will be well, we've been here before countless times and have always come through. My parents and best friends have also been super supportive as they know what my triggers are, and I've had some lovely messages from them. I'm looking for good coping mechanisms for how to deal with the thoughts and stop putting pressure on myself, as I'm currently stuck in that horrid cycle of endless reassurance and spikes and it's doing me no good at all. Can anyone who has ever been in a similar situation help? X
Hi everyone! I wanted to ask a quick question. My partner and I are interested in taking the next step in our relationship - getting engaged then getting married. However, I obviously still struggle with ROCD which distresses me. I am very attracted to him, but have these thoughts that “he’s not the right person for you” even though that couldnt seem further from true. If anyone on here is married, can you share how you made the personal decision to get married to your current partner? Thanks in advance!!
This is just kind of a rant but any encouragement would be so much appreciated, thank you ❤️ I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years. He is incredible, kind, funny, smart, hardworking, so so loving-just an extremely good person. In 2021 I developed or at least recognized my OCD. I’ve been diagnosed with OCD, anxiety and depression, definitely quite the list. Each of these conditions mingle with each other and make life very difficult at times. At the beginning it centered around me being a bad person but slowly grew to be relationship OCD. I have fears that I don’t really love him, I’m not actually attracted to him, I’m going to cheat on him, he doesn’t make me happy or that he would be better without me and is a better person than me. Lately I have this fear that one day not to far away he will prepose to me and I won’t be excited. Or that he will feel more for me then I do for him, or that I will have to fake my excitement. I have this vision of myself feeling nothing when he asks me and having to fake it. It’s just such a sickening thought to imagine not feeling the intense joy I always knew I would feel if he proposed to me. It’s so strange because before I had bad OCD I used to dream of that day, I would ask if he thought he might prepose to me one day and if his answer wasn’t certain enough I would feel very sad. It’s terrible because I’ll get depressed and feel nothing positive for any aspect of the world-including my relationship, but OCD will take that and twist it into me not feeling anything positive for him. Which will in turn make me feel more depressed. You ever just want to hide and pause the world for a little while so you can catch your breath? It feels like the weeks go by so slowly but still suddenly I’m nearly grown up.
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond