I THINK I REMEMBERED I WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH A MALE FUCK MY LIFE LITERALLY I- do not want to live.

Well, yes. I would indeed ask "what's wrong with being attracted to a child?". Same with beastiality etc. Would it change their morals and values? Would it mean they have to do something illegal? Would it make them the worst person in the world, having an attraction they have no control over? Believe it or not it's actually important to LOOK at the things which feel like threats and see if they're actually as bad as they feel like. Not so that we can attempt to accept our OCD ideas/thoughts/fears. So that we can see it in a less black and white way, get a more realistic sense of our own resilience, and THEREFORE reduce the sense of threat caused by the OCD ideas. When the fear seems less threatening, and we have more confidence in our ability to handle it, it becomes much, much, much, much easier to resist the urges to do mental compulsions like checking and seeking reassurance. I cured my whole zoophilia OCD theme this way and it hasn't come back. I looked at it obejctively: "what would be so awful if this was true?", and instead of automatically going to my feared consequences of "everyone would hate me", "I'd never have a normal relationship", "I'd probably end up acting on it and go to prison", "I'll never be able to connect with or feel close to other people because I'll never be able to tell them about this and if I did, they'd abandon me" etc, I tried to actually be more objective. It's unlikely that sensible people would hate me for something I can't control, and the kinds of people who would hate me for it, aren't worth knowing. I could perfectly well have a normal relationship with someone I'm attracted to. I could also survive the strain of not telling people about it or only telling people I trust a lot, especially as if I fill my life with other things, it will feel less important and less relevant to all the other parts of my relationship. I could still do a job I enjoy and activities I enjoy. I certainly would not have to act on it- even with pedophiles there are literally whole communities of pedophiles who support eachother not to act on their attractions, and I can still think it's morally wrong and not do it, I'm the one who is in charge. Etc. Once I laid all these things out for myself, the theme felt a lot less threatening and I quit all my compulsions, and eventually the urges to check like I needed to know for sure, went away. Now I have a much more rational outlook about it. I know that it's almost certainly OCD, I still believe all those things I laid out about how the consequences are not life-ending, and I know that even if it still causes me a bit of anxiety to remember the topic or I feel triggered sometimes, I don't ACTUALLY need to dig into it and try to find out. Because I'd survive either way. And I'm happier when I'm not thinking about it. So I don't. So I don't have OCD about it anymore. I don't have certainty, but I don't have the theme, I resist doing compulsions and that's BECAUSE I feel less threatened by it. If you can find any way at all to feel less threatened by the idea that you might like something which goes against the way you see yourself, it's going to make quitting the theme and staying quit, VASTLY easier. OCD thrives on black and white thinking. You can't kill obsessions by focusing on them. You kill obsessions by both reducing and adjusting to the levels of terror and discomfort they cause, to the point where you no longer spend your life trying to get, or even hoping for, perfect confidence.

@Scoggy I know I’m just tired of seeing these poor hocd people getting told that it’s okay to be gay, basically. Like yes it is but that isn’t her point. She’s upset Bc her mind is telling her things that are making her obsess. I do agree she should accept uncertainty and realize no matter what, she is strong enough to survive these thoughts even if they were true. But- there’s people up there trying to convince her she might actually like men and that could be very triggering

@BrainH20 Well, for me it was intended to get the person to look at whether their fear level is genuinely realistic. The only other person who said anything like that was intrusiveavenger, I agree that their comments probably weren't very helpful.

I hate it. And even more so because I'm not anxious. It's literally true. Kill me.

@ｆｅｎｎａ Its ocd and even what’s wrong with a male

@intrusiveavenger I simply hate everything about the idea of being with one and that has been true for my entire life. Or that's what I think I did. I cannot change that, I've tried. I still hold to that. Even though I probably have had genuine desire for men. Everything is wrong with a male. I can't handle this.

@ｆｅｎｎａ You could be bi with a preference for women or ocd is just tricking your mind

@intrusiveavenger I know I could, but I'm not okay with that.

@ｆｅｎｎａ List 5 things of why u don’t want a man

@intrusiveavenger Their bodies are gross to me and have zero appeal. I wouldn't be happy with a man even if he was perfect. I feel like I'd be traumatized if I ever got with a guy. I simply couldn't bring myself to do it. I hate the internalized misogyny they all have.

@ｆｅｎｎａ I see your points

@ｆｅｎｎａ I have a fear of pegging so I can’t talk 😂

@Anonymous Why u saying she could be bi for ffw

It feels wrong, it doesn't feel like me. I know that sexuality is a spectrum but it feels so wrong to me. It's not just that I don't want to want it,I literally cannot believe myself. It feels so unnatural. It feels like I'm lying. I have nothing against bisexuals, I have amazing bisexual friends, and I'm fully supportive of them, it just doesn't seem like something that's me. It feels exactly the same as the times I forced myself to fantasize about men. Even if I don't have fo ever act upon the attraction it feels wrong to say that I even had it. It is so alien. I hate it.

@ｆｅｎｎａ Ok, so when you insist that you're only into women, it feels like a lie, and when you say that you're bisexual, it feels like a lie too. When you insist you've never had any attraction to a man, it feels like a lie, and when you think of a scenario where it might have been true, and you try to accept it, it feels like a lie too. We've all been there, with OCD your feelings just don't match up with what you should have confidence about, so you go with your feelings and start to doubt what you know. Probably the best thing to do is stop ruminating on this theme. It's not as if you actually need to know for certain one way or the other, and when you deliberately and mindfully stop obsessing about a theme, it stops feeling so threatening and plausible. You're not ever going to get a concrete answer via more obsessing, so it's a better idea to stop and live by your values instead.

@Scoggy Tbh, my intuition continues to insist that I'm exclusively into women just as it did when I was 6, 9, 11, 12, 13, 15, 16, 18, 20, and now at 22. But technically it likely isn't true anymore. Regardless, you're right about me having to stop obsessing. Thanks for grounding me.