- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I am so incredibly sorry that u had to endure such a horrible experience. Although u can’t see it now, ur experience will make u stronger. I know it feels like rn it’s making u crazy...but maybe ur MEANT to feel crazy rn...maybe ur meant to feel that so it pushes u so far to finally place a bad man (related or not) in jail. Because of ur intrusive thoughts another little boy or girl hopefully will NOT have to encounter the likes of ur perverse extended family. See the silver lining...have faith, and God bless u
- Date posted
- 6y
I wish I could meet you all and give you a hug. I’ve needed this community so damn much. 465 - it seems I am now the one who needs your help
- Date posted
- 6y
I know. I was fine and then got a bunch of images the last hour. Just gotta trust myself. Again though, we have to accept that we won’t have certainty that we COULD NOT develop such horrible interests. We won’t, we despise it. But we like to think of it as an impossibility for us. Doesn’t have to be for others, but it has to be for us. I am accepting I could be capable of continuing the cycle - but I won’t because I fucking loathe it. But some do. Under different circumstances I could be, and that’s scary
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you so much. I never thought of it like that. His abuse doesn’t bother me and hasn’t for years. It’s the intrusive thoughts that are recreations that bother me. Still thank you for your kind words. The bastard is going to remembered and reviled for what he has done
- Date posted
- 6y
Wish u the best lots of love ❤️
- Date posted
- 6y
You are doing the right thing. So courageous and noble. We support you 10000000% percent
- Date posted
- 6y
U poor thing thanks so much for helping me and I wish I had the strength to help u please stay strong for ur beautiful family that piece of shit can go to hell!!
- Date posted
- 6y
It really has been my pleasure. I’m still here to help you if you need it. I come here to offload but I do little rumination and no fucking googling? How are you feeling right now compared to how you we’re?
- Date posted
- 6y
Not good tbh my dog died n I still feel so nervous around kids like im so scared I’m attracted to them n I hate my brain when it says I wish it wasn’t illegal so I can do it it will be good n ur not scared yes I fucking am n urges r the worst life is fucking hard
- Date posted
- 6y
It’s all OCD this. Now due to my experience I am very cautious about who gets to sit with my older boy. I’ve read your posts, full of graphic detail, like you have an evil twin trying to ‘force your hand’. So maybe it will REALLY surprise you when I tell you that I would be happy for you to spend time with him. Alone. And yes I know you would think and see the most grotesque things happening. The content is grotesque. You are simply an extraordinarily caring soul who is suffering needlessly. I hope this brings you comfort.
- Date posted
- 6y
What?
- Date posted
- 6y
I mean I would trust you with my son despite your thoughts and fears. Even though I know your mind would tell you all sorts of things. The other point I was making was that in VERY cautious of who gets to spend time with him, so you should take comfort in that.
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh thank u so much that means a lot
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh sorry I understand now so much is going on my head
- Date posted
- 6y
Yh
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
Hey guys today I just wanted to come here and share an experience I have and I generally don't know what to do I feel like a terrible person for having these thoughts and for thinking them I genuinely don't know what to do I don't know the signs behind it and why I think the way I do but it's honestly driving me crazy I don't know what to do I have a pornography addiction for a long time it's where it's like anytime I'm an intimate moment or am masturbating my head just thinks these weird things always the same repetitive thoughts to of family members your younger sibling or a young child I myself am a 17 year old and I feel so disgusted I feel like I can't live my life anymore I feel like I'm a criminal cuz like it feels like I chose this these thoughts like I actively think them I don't know the signs behind it and I just really need professional help if there's any like therapist here that could fill me in that would be nice I would also like to know if you guys had any similar experiences because for me I feel like I have to rewatch pornography and do it right without the thoughts cuz I feel like the thoughts are just like to prevalent anytime I do anything related to masturbation why do I think this way I'm also just trying to be as honest as I can with this I'm not trying to make myself I guess a victim I'm trying to hold myself accountable if I actually am like this because I also have doubts in my head that tells me that I enjoy these things I feel like I'm going crazy someone help because it feels so real like I acted on them or that I was pleasuring myself to the thoughts and not towards the video it's just how can I live with myself you know also during it it felt like I was thinking the thought for a long period of time like it was dominating my head so I couldn't focus it felt l
- Young adults with OCD
- NOCD Therapy Alumni
- Students with OCD
- POCD
- OCD newbies
- False Memory OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- Real Events OCD
- Date posted
- 16w
It’s like my brain is doing everything in its power to convince myself and also justify an attraction to teenagers. I hate myself. I don’t want to be this person, but what if I don’t have a choice. How do I get these thoughts out of my head permanently. I feel like my life will never be the same if they don’t leave forever. I can’t tell what is a real desire and what OCD is trying to convince me is a real desire. I can’t do this every day for the rest of my life. I don’t want to hurt anyone, or I don’t think I do but how do I even tell anymore. This might not even be OCD at this point, I can’t separate my thoughts from OCD thoughts I think because I’ve had OCD for so long so it all just feels like me. Maybe it is me. TMI but I haven’t pleasured myself in like a week because my libido is so low now, I don’t want to do it with these thoughts.
- Date posted
- 10w
*tmi warning* I'm so worried im a P. Ive been crying daily unable to do anything else but ruminate over my real events. When i was 14 (before ocd) i was watching adult content and it was censored. The woman had similar features like hair and skin color as my niece. I remember noticing that and saying "huh i guess I'll imagine that as the adult version of my niece" and I did and after i was finished i moved on and didnt think anything was wrong. I dont know if i ever thought about that again? Its so blurry ocd keeps saying i did it again in a different time but i dont remember its too blurry and its scaring me so badly! I didnt even remember this till like literally last week and i wanted to die! Im 20 for context. When I remembered i immediately broke down in tears. I vaguely rmemeber this other thought i had of her when self pleasuring when I was 16??? I think it was a testing thought out of distress? But im not sure at all! It was extremely vague image and unrealistic i dont think I liked it but maybe i did?! Im so distressed its like i remmeber 2 versions of this particular event which is why I think its ocd false memories from there. Ive been ruminating and spiraling for almost a week. I keep crying i havent ate well at all in days ive been honestly dehydrating myself and i cannot sleep. I feel like a monster. I did the mistake of researching last night and kept comparing myself to the "criteria" of those sickos and like I felt so distressed. I also have been asking ai for hours on end everyday. I feel so distressed im literally crying rn as i write this i cant calm down i feel like this sick individual even tho I dont even like thinking of that at all i dont think I meant ill intent when i was a teen but its killing me inside. I would NEVER harm anyone nor want to or plan to, deep down i know I would never act out in those evil ways but like whats killing me is what if im attracted?! Is this a sign?! Am i one of those people?! Am i attracted to my niece bc of those 2 maybe even 3(??)thoughts years ago?! Did i mean ill intent?! Am I an actual danger?! Am I a monster??? I have so many urges to confess to my mom im so scared what this all means or could mean. I feel so alone and scared. Like legit whenever i get intrusive thoughts about gross stuff i feel disgusted and anxious and push it away. Those thoughts do not bring me pleasure whatsoever but this real event is making me doubt my own identity 😔
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