- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I struggle with real Event OCD sometimes too! You are not alone! Lots of people do! It’s a terrible struggle because your OCD wants you to live in the past and not for today. Here’s some resources IMPORTANT: If you are suffering from obsessions about an event or possible event from your past, the solution is NOT about discovering the “truth” about this event. This is an OCD trap. The truth will not set you free as the OCD promises. The problem is not the event itself, but the need for certainty about the event, which only feels important due to the OCD brain glitch. Your escape is to sit with uncertainty and discomfort in response to any intrusive thought about the event, and wait for it to feel less important to your brain over time. A Quick Guide For Real Event OCD: Remember that it’s not the memory that is the problem, it’s the OCD that’s the issue Remember that OCD often distorts your past memories and can very often add details to make a memory seem worse than it actually was and can even create false memories. This is a challenging one but, let go of the need for certainly about your past memory or memories. Let go as best you can and be comfortable with uncertainty (this takes time, be self compassionate) Remember that this type of OCD is not special or unique just because it’s based on a (likely distort and over exaggerated) past event, OCD attacks what is most important to us, our biggest fears and issues, it whatever way it can Real event OCD is fundamentally no different than any other type of OCD (and many people suffer from many different types of OCD all at once) The only differences in any type of OCD is what the obsession is over, thankfully, The treatment is the same, this is a moment in life what is a good thing to remember that you (and your condition) are not special Stop reassurance seeking and confessing. It may provide a little relief and lessen your fears but it will not fully take them away, again it’s not the memory that’s the issue it’s OCD’s grip on the memory Ban rumination! No matter how many times you ruminate about every detail and possible outcome of the past event will only make the thoughts more “sticky” in your brain. It’s hard, but stop giving the thoughts credence and let them go as best you can, try to catch yourself in the act of rumination Be mindful and allow the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings to just come and go, observe but don’t engage, this helps teach the brain not to attach to these thoughts and feelings and stops the brain for continuously sending the panic alarm. Meditation works very nicely for practicing mindfulness Ask yourself if you should waste your life trying to figure out the past, when you can focus on bringing what you want into your present and future. I know you don’t feel you deserve it. The main tenets of behavior therapy are: We cannot control our thoughts and feelings but we can control our behavior. If you change your behavior, your thoughts and feelings will follow. During this pandemic it can be hard, so try finding hobbies and other positive things to do to fill your day Be here now, this can be challenging but, do your best to live in the now and do what you can to make today great! The past is long over and the future is fantasy. Each day we are born anew and have an opportunity to improve. Most if not all Real Event OCD obsessions are over actions that we would never think of repeating and that we would have never done if we knew then what we know now. Be kind to yourself and remember who you are. Accept that there will be ups and downs, harder days and easier days, on your recovery journey Finally… self compassion not self forgiveness! Forgiveness implies that you have done some unforgivable act and need to work towards reparation for it. This process usually requires time spent discussing and processing the event. You may believe if you find a way to forgive yourself then you can stop obsessing about it. People in your life may have even encouraged you to work on it. With OCD, discussing and analyzing the event is not the approach we want to take. In fact, I’m sure you have already spent excessive amounts of time evaluating the situation and all its many angles, yet getting nowhere. Now, I’m not saying this is an event you are proud of. What I am saying is that it’s not the event that is the problem; it is the OCD that is the problem. There is a chance you would have moved on from the event if the OCD hadn’t grabbed onto it. And we don’t treat OCD with self-forgiveness because OCD exaggerates and distorts life events. Imagine that being stuck on this may not be due to lack of self-forgiveness but the way OCD traps you. OCD has taken over the life event, twisted it and has convinced you into believing it is a critical problem that requires forgiveness or punishment. Resources: Article: http://www.ocdspecialists.com/real-event-ocd/ Video on Real Event OCD: https://youtu.be/ojsA2z_Nf_0 Video on Letting Go: https://youtu.be/ZK6FVw4xfbg Video on “Going Through Hell”: https://youtu.be/toQMJeqdW48 Video “Drunk on Life” accepting the good, the bad and the s Gray area: https://youtu.be/WCsPCrZ4aq0 Jesus Prayer Mindfulness Meditation Guide (NOTE: if you struggle with religious OCD this may not be the best for you) https://youtu.be/6TTDjJ8Cv3Y Za Zen Mindfulness Meditation Guide (NOTE: if you have an issue with number obsession this might not be best for you) https://youtu.be/dDJ_wbjBL6c Book Recommendations: The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD by John Hershfield Christ The Eternal Tao by Hieromonk Damascene Anxious For Nothing by Max Lucando The Jesus Prayer by Frederica Matthews Green The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund Bourne Our Thoughts Determine Our Lives by Elder Thaddeus F*ck Coping Start Healing by Dennis Simsek Anxiety, Trust and Gratitude by Nun Kathrine Weston NOTE: While all this information is very helpful it is always best to seek treatment and help from a therapist or psychologist. Use the information above is a part of your healing journey, get in touch with a therapist/psychologist to help you better work through these issues
- Date posted
- 4y ago
thank you very much these are all very helpful resources :)
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Ik this was written a long time ago but WOW! Thank you so much! You worded this amazingly
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Needed this post today!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@NOCD Advocate - Lauren W. Hey, are you free to talk?
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@KyleMagri This is such a kind message, thank you for using your time to write this, you have really helped some people 😊🫶💕 you’re a very kind soul :)
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@Ugh20000 Me?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I also struggle with real event ocd and I know what you are talking about when you say you feel like you don’t deserve to do anything you enjoy. I like to think by going ahead and doing activities you like and enjoy even if you feel anxiety about doing it, you are doing a little ERP therapy, you are not letting this thoughts control your actions. It’s easier said than done but I have been trying to do things I enjoy anyway, even if my thoughts tell me I don’t “deserve” any joy or enjoyment. Also, I know that for me, I want to know for sure that this is OCD. But part of overcoming is accepting uncertainty. I have to remind myself not to seek reassurance and hopefully over time it gets easier. Thinking of you! Know you aren’t alone in this!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
thank you so much i really appreciate this
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Yes I have dealt with the same thoughts too. Yes you can and will get over it
- Date posted
- 4y ago
thank you i really hope so
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I have and still am dealing with this.. it has gotten easier as the mo this went on. Honestly, you just have to accept it the fact you feel bad is enough. Punishing yourself does not cha ge anything. Just focus on being a good person and enjoy your life,
- Date posted
- 4y ago
thank you :)
- Date posted
- 4y ago
It’s so complicated. I mean it’s just I asked my boyfriend if he has wanted to have sex with other girls before, and he didn’t actually have sex w them. But he said he has wanted to.. and idk why I asked I let myself down that path but I’m just upset by the answer and kind of thinking “well why doesn’t he just want me” and ruminating about it and it’s not tht what if that scares me ig it’s his answer because it’s part of what I fear and it is true.. so it’s scary.. like idk maybe he meant it but the hard part is my ocd thinks worst case scenario as in, it thinks well he said it, it’s true and it must be how you think it is. And maybe ocd is twisting it but I feel like it is a big deal he wanted to.. maybe it feels that way because of the anxiety but idk it feels big. I’ve had this before though, I keep thinking this is worse though like I didn’t want it to be true. Because I keep thinking if he wanted to it is the same as me ? Even tho rationally I am confident it isn’t. Even if he said so or whatever. My head is going from A to B to anxiety to sadness, to just making me feel crazy and dread.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Maybe it’s normal to be upset by that stuff, just not obsessing. I find myself sometimes trying to change his answer so I can live with it.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I struggle with real event ocd but w my bf’s past
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w ago
I feel like there’s no way out of this. everyday i’m anxious and depressed from these thoughts. i feel like i have to constantly question if it’s OCD or not. the panic attacks are insane and i freak out. and a compulsion i have is looking eveything up on the internet when im stressing to know that it’s just my OCD and im not in danger. but looking things up add on to my thoughts and i start thinking “what if” actual suidcal people think. do others with this theme whenever they do something like if im taking a picture it’ll be like “yeah you look happy people will wonder what happened when your gone” LIKE i DO NOT want to end my life. or even as simple as cleaning my room, “yup keep it clean so when your family goes through your stuff” then i panic and can’t even do anything. those thoughts distress me so bad. i’ll sit there and think how good my life is or when im having a good day my thoughts will be like “NOPEEE what if your just saying that to convince yourself” it never shuts up and genuinely makes me think i have SI or something. i hope this reaches the right people just to know im not alone. Even when i do get better in the back of my mind it’s always “people who want to are the same a day before too” im genuinely scared and im scared one day im going to just snap and do it because its “too much” do i need to go to a mental hospital! i feel insane.
- Date posted
- 11w ago
So, I know my capacity to get fixated on things. And it's normally something that's relatively remote but, my latest issue is really getting to me and I was wondering if people have any advice. I'm avoiding getting too into specifics, as I don't want this to get reassurance-y but, in essence.. I came to the realisation recently that people who I'd been "friends" (feels like the wrong term now) when I was younger were not very nice people, and normalized a lot of very unpleasant behaviour towards other members of the group. They really normalized it, sold themselves as figures of authority, as older and more responsible and grown-up than others, and looking back, they acted horribly. And coming to this realisation, that I'd been manipulated into just accepting their behaviour has just... broken me. My OCD has latched onto it and I can't stop feeling irreversibly tainted by it. I've talked to others about it, and they've reassured me, told me it's not a big deal and that I hold myself to too high a standard, but none of that sticks. I feel better for a bit, then think 'Maybe when you told them you were skewing it to make yourself look better' or 'Did you leave out a crucial detail'. I keep ruminating over and over, trying to remember exactly how everything played out, trying to figure out if I fed into the behaviour, if I did something bad myself (because y'know, I feel like I was accepting of it at the time, so what does it say about my own values?). I know I need to stop doing all this if I want to improve, but then some part of me keeps saying 'So, you're just going to let yourself off the hook then?' Normally, I can rationalize my own fears to some degree, assure myself something won't happen, but the realness of the situation, and the fact I only came to understand the reality of it because the thought had been bothering me means it feels so much more all-encompassing. I know confessing in itself is a compulsion, but I keep feeling that if I'm not I'm somehow concealing what I 'really am' from others around me, and any positive interactions are me deceiving them in some way. I feel like I can't enjoy anything in life right now, and a good part of me feels I should not enjoy it ever again. If anybody has any advice on it, I'm all ears. Or even hearing if you relate to these feelings, I might appreciate the solidarity at least.
- Date posted
- 10w ago
I can't live with OCD anymore. It's ruining my life. I feel like I'm being constantly bullied in my own mind all day everyday. I don't know if what I think and feel is ever real or normal or okay, what is me and what is the OCD thoughts. I don't know if any of my experiences are normal. I'm exhausted from picking apart every single conversation I ever have with anyone until I'm strung out by a vague and ambiguous feeling of guilt. I'm tired of feeling like I'm a bad person and feeling scared all the time and not knowing why and having my brain spin me out on an endless spiralling train of thoughts that never goes anywhere and just makes me feel disconnected from everything and everyone around me. I don't know what I feel and if what I feel is normal or if anything I am doing is real and actually me or if I'm 'losing my mind.' I don't even know if this makes any sense. I get into these states of mind where every thought in my head and everything I feel and perceive makes me question my own sanity. I don't know if anyone likes me because I have absolutely no concept of what I am actually like. I feel completely lost and confused CONSTANTLY.
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