i’m so sorry for posting so much but i just want to know if this sounds like ocd? basically when i’m ruminating over something that happened for example when i was struggling with real event ocd what bothered me the most was that i felt like i couldn’t let myself enjoy anything, like i had to suffer for eternity, i’d get thoughts like “you don’t deserve to walk, eat, sleep, drink, watch tv, listen to music” etc. and if i did those things i’d get pangs of anxiety, it keeps happening to me and it makes me so depressed and miserable i feel like i don’t even deserve to be myself or talk to friends sometimes and sometimes if i touch something like a glass for example my brain goes you don’t deserve to know the concept of what a glass is. I know it sounds completely crazy and i feel so alone because i haven’t seen anyone else that deals with thoughts like this :( can i get over it?

I struggle with real Event OCD sometimes too! You are not alone! Lots of people do! It’s a terrible struggle because your OCD wants you to live in the past and not for today. Here’s some resources IMPORTANT: If you are suffering from obsessions about an event or possible event from your past, the solution is NOT about discovering the “truth” about this event. This is an OCD trap. The truth will not set you free as the OCD promises. The problem is not the event itself, but the need for certainty about the event, which only feels important due to the OCD brain glitch. Your escape is to sit with uncertainty and discomfort in response to any intrusive thought about the event, and wait for it to feel less important to your brain over time. A Quick Guide For Real Event OCD: Remember that it’s not the memory that is the problem, it’s the OCD that’s the issue Remember that OCD often distorts your past memories and can very often add details to make a memory seem worse than it actually was and can even create false memories. This is a challenging one but, let go of the need for certainly about your past memory or memories. Let go as best you can and be comfortable with uncertainty (this takes time, be self compassionate) Remember that this type of OCD is not special or unique just because it’s based on a (likely distort and over exaggerated) past event, OCD attacks what is most important to us, our biggest fears and issues, it whatever way it can Real event OCD is fundamentally no different than any other type of OCD (and many people suffer from many different types of OCD all at once) The only differences in any type of OCD is what the obsession is over, thankfully, The treatment is the same, this is a moment in life what is a good thing to remember that you (and your condition) are not special Stop reassurance seeking and confessing. It may provide a little relief and lessen your fears but it will not fully take them away, again it’s not the memory that’s the issue it’s OCD’s grip on the memory Ban rumination! No matter how many times you ruminate about every detail and possible outcome of the past event will only make the thoughts more “sticky” in your brain. It’s hard, but stop giving the thoughts credence and let them go as best you can, try to catch yourself in the act of rumination Be mindful and allow the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings to just come and go, observe but don’t engage, this helps teach the brain not to attach to these thoughts and feelings and stops the brain for continuously sending the panic alarm. Meditation works very nicely for practicing mindfulness Ask yourself if you should waste your life trying to figure out the past, when you can focus on bringing what you want into your present and future. I know you don’t feel you deserve it. The main tenets of behavior therapy are: We cannot control our thoughts and feelings but we can control our behavior. If you change your behavior, your thoughts and feelings will follow. During this pandemic it can be hard, so try finding hobbies and other positive things to do to fill your day Be here now, this can be challenging but, do your best to live in the now and do what you can to make today great! The past is long over and the future is fantasy. Each day we are born anew and have an opportunity to improve. Most if not all Real Event OCD obsessions are over actions that we would never think of repeating and that we would have never done if we knew then what we know now. Be kind to yourself and remember who you are. Accept that there will be ups and downs, harder days and easier days, on your recovery journey Finally… self compassion not self forgiveness! Forgiveness implies that you have done some unforgivable act and need to work towards reparation for it. This process usually requires time spent discussing and processing the event. You may believe if you find a way to forgive yourself then you can stop obsessing about it. People in your life may have even encouraged you to work on it. With OCD, discussing and analyzing the event is not the approach we want to take. In fact, I’m sure you have already spent excessive amounts of time evaluating the situation and all its many angles, yet getting nowhere. Now, I’m not saying this is an event you are proud of. What I am saying is that it’s not the event that is the problem; it is the OCD that is the problem. There is a chance you would have moved on from the event if the OCD hadn’t grabbed onto it. And we don’t treat OCD with self-forgiveness because OCD exaggerates and distorts life events. Imagine that being stuck on this may not be due to lack of self-forgiveness but the way OCD traps you. OCD has taken over the life event, twisted it and has convinced you into believing it is a critical problem that requires forgiveness or punishment. Resources: Article: http://www.ocdspecialists.com/real-event-ocd/ Video on Real Event OCD: https://youtu.be/ojsA2z_Nf_0 Video on Letting Go: https://youtu.be/ZK6FVw4xfbg Video on “Going Through Hell”: https://youtu.be/toQMJeqdW48 Video “Drunk on Life” accepting the good, the bad and the s Gray area: https://youtu.be/WCsPCrZ4aq0 Jesus Prayer Mindfulness Meditation Guide (NOTE: if you struggle with religious OCD this may not be the best for you) https://youtu.be/6TTDjJ8Cv3Y Za Zen Mindfulness Meditation Guide (NOTE: if you have an issue with number obsession this might not be best for you) https://youtu.be/dDJ_wbjBL6c Book Recommendations: The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD by John Hershfield Christ The Eternal Tao by Hieromonk Damascene Anxious For Nothing by Max Lucando The Jesus Prayer by Frederica Matthews Green The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund Bourne Our Thoughts Determine Our Lives by Elder Thaddeus F*ck Coping Start Healing by Dennis Simsek Anxiety, Trust and Gratitude by Nun Kathrine Weston NOTE: While all this information is very helpful it is always best to seek treatment and help from a therapist or psychologist. Use the information above is a part of your healing journey, get in touch with a therapist/psychologist to help you better work through these issues

I also struggle with real event ocd and I know what you are talking about when you say you feel like you don’t deserve to do anything you enjoy. I like to think by going ahead and doing activities you like and enjoy even if you feel anxiety about doing it, you are doing a little ERP therapy, you are not letting this thoughts control your actions. It’s easier said than done but I have been trying to do things I enjoy anyway, even if my thoughts tell me I don’t “deserve” any joy or enjoyment. Also, I know that for me, I want to know for sure that this is OCD. But part of overcoming is accepting uncertainty. I have to remind myself not to seek reassurance and hopefully over time it gets easier. Thinking of you! Know you aren’t alone in this!

Yes I have dealt with the same thoughts too. Yes you can and will get over it

I have and still am dealing with this.. it has gotten easier as the mo this went on. Honestly, you just have to accept it the fact you feel bad is enough. Punishing yourself does not cha ge anything. Just focus on being a good person and enjoy your life,

It’s so complicated. I mean it’s just I asked my boyfriend if he has wanted to have sex with other girls before, and he didn’t actually have sex w them. But he said he has wanted to.. and idk why I asked I let myself down that path but I’m just upset by the answer and kind of thinking “well why doesn’t he just want me” and ruminating about it and it’s not tht what if that scares me ig it’s his answer because it’s part of what I fear and it is true.. so it’s scary.. like idk maybe he meant it but the hard part is my ocd thinks worst case scenario as in, it thinks well he said it, it’s true and it must be how you think it is. And maybe ocd is twisting it but I feel like it is a big deal he wanted to.. maybe it feels that way because of the anxiety but idk it feels big. I’ve had this before though, I keep thinking this is worse though like I didn’t want it to be true. Because I keep thinking if he wanted to it is the same as me ? Even tho rationally I am confident it isn’t. Even if he said so or whatever. My head is going from A to B to anxiety to sadness, to just making me feel crazy and dread.

Maybe it’s normal to be upset by that stuff, just not obsessing. I find myself sometimes trying to change his answer so I can live with it.

I struggle with real event ocd but w my bf’s past