- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I honestly feel the same way I’m so desensitized to subjects like pedophilia and rape. My thoughts tell me if no one said those things were bad, I’d probably enjoy and indulge in it. It’s like my brain can’t tell itself that those things are bad on its own. I feel like I’m secretly a sexual deviant with no morals.
- Date posted
- 6y
I'm slowly coming out of a pocd bout. My thinking is it's ok to notice if someone under 18 is good looking - but black & white thinking makes you think that if you can think that then you must like it when you think of obscene images, which isn't true lol. For example - I think my mom is beautiful but it doesn't mean I want to see her in a sexual way. It's a weird gray area - which isn't that weird but we're black & white thinkers. And you know you're making it more than what it is when you have to keep checking. Do you keep checking your soup to see if it's hot while you're eating it?
- Date posted
- 6y
I experience this exactly with my HOCD. It’s like I think the thought but then have this urge/desire to go back and ‘really’ think about it/“see them in that way” (this is how I describe it to others which doesn’t really make sense, but it’s hard to put OCD into words). It’s hard to distinguish this feeling as a compulsion because it feels so real and like a strong desire or piqued interest. But I know that compulsions often feel urgent and nagging, which is how this feels. Also, checking is a common mental compulsion in OCD!
- Date posted
- 6y
Think about how you feel when you get these thoughts. To me it sounds that your are in distress and that these thoughts not only disgust you, but are also against who you are, right? Now ask yourself if someone who actually wants to do these horrific things in real life would feel the same way you do.
- Date posted
- 6y
I had this for a while but even you guys saying it out loud, talking about it, shows that you are good people with good morals and you know that at the end of the day you’ll come off better. One question I used to ask myself was if it ever came to it would I be able to do that to an innocent child? The answer was no.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I am a christian guy who grew up in a christian community and family. For as long as i remember, ive had horrible thoughts about all kinds of things that i dont know where to begin. Due to my extreme thoughts, i feel as if i am unworthy of practicing my religioin, such as praying, reading, meditating, etc. I feel ashamed when i go to church, as if i dont belong there because i feel like i am secretely evil, and that God knows i am evil and i am committing blasphemy by going there, and refusing to "repent", from my thoughts. But then again, my thoughts are just thoughts, sure. So whats the problem? - The problem is that in my faith, i have been taught that we must control our thoughts, so they do not get power over us to make us commit sin. Such as "If you think lustfully about a woman, you have already committed adultery with her in your heart". This verse has killed my self esteem, due to the constant unwanted sexual and disturbing thoughts. It makes me feel like a monster, who secretely just wants to abuse and be horrible to people, even though i know very well i do not want this. Sometimes i think horrible things about the people i love very much, such as my girlfriend. It feels so wrong and evil, even though i know it isnt my true will.
- Date posted
- 19w
so I’ve been seeking therapy for my OCD for a few years. The theme that I’ve been dealing with most recently is the fear of becoming a pedophile, which then has led to intrusive images of me doing things to kids.Which now is just causing me so much distress and 24/7 constant thought cycle. I am starting to not be able to tell the difference between thoughts that are wanted/ unwanted- the line has become some blurry and these things are starting to feel like someothing i want to do. My brain keeps telling me to just test these thoughts and the “maybe”or”i don’t know” isn’t working. This has become such a barrier because the second layer is that I’m afraid that if I just let the thoughts be there it’ll make me be OK with doing those things and the fear is what’s keeping me from actually doing something inappropriate. It’s also transitioned into intrusive thoughts and images of me doing something very disgusting to my dog and that when I’m cuddling with him I get the thoughts to just do it or try it to see if i am actually a p*do. it’s almost like the compulsion would be to do the inappropriate thing, even though I know it’s wrong just to see how it would make me feel. I feel like i can’t control these urges even though i’ve never acted on it. At any point i could just do it. I’ve never had these thoughts before up until about a year and a half ago when my friend‘s boyfriend got arrested for soliciting a minor then all these thoughts came to life.Has anyone experienced something like this and have any advice?
- Date posted
- 9w
I've never shared anything on here before but I read a lot and I will say I am thankful for this community. I have had OCD my whole life. When I was a child I remember having thoughts in my head that made me uncomfortable, although I couldn't remember what they all were. I would neutralize them with a word. I would have nightly confessions to my mom. I do remember a very specific intrusive thought about God that made me panic and I remember exactly where I was. I would wash my hands until they bled to "prevent" something bad from happening. I developed sexual Instrusive thoughts of my brother being romantically interested in me and it scared me so much, I always fought with him for the imagined fear that played in my mind. I have a bit of harm OCD and my biggest nemesis is POCD. I am in ERP therapy but my mind WILL not let me do what I need to work on because I'm living in constant fear or what if this isn't just OCD. I cut out my compulsive prayer after a thought, but my big one is mental checking. I have to gauge the perfect reaction to a thought to figure out I don't feel any way about it. My mind puts myself or children in situations to check how I feel and it's constant. I can't even call that intrusive anymore, it's an automatic compulsion. One "compulsion" I find interesting and wanted some insights on is when I see an adult on tv talking, I imagine them as a child. Not even sexually. Just how they might have acted as a child that led them to their characters personality. I also have trained my mind to think sexual relationships with adults are "dangerous" because they used to be kids. My mind will not stop ruminating, will not stop trying to show me proof of my obsession. I have dreamed of finding life since I was 9, I identify as a straight female, always interested in adult men. I've struggled with this theme since my early 20s and it started out so little, with just random words and images that I dismissed away with my compulsions but now it has spread and over taken my mind with excessive doubt.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond