TW pocd This is really hard to explain but I’ll try. Struggle with POCD. I find the thoughts absolutely revolting but I think? A compulsion of mine is replaying the thought to check as the unwanted thought makes me feel like I “enjoy” the thought? It’s sickening. Anyway, the thought came, then another thought / temptation? Came to rethink the thought and “check” it. I resisted but then got this sickening feeling like my mind was telling me “awwww you’re disappointed you couldn’t enjoy the thought and at the same time find it repulsive” and know I feel like I’m just in denial that I secretly like the thought. My biggest fear is that I’m secretly attracted. Can anyone shed this light? Is this still OCD or temptation / unrepentant sin? ( I’m Christian. ) Thanks guys, struggling so much.

Are there any Christians on here with POCD? It's so difficult to navigate for me because all of these thoughts feel so unholy and real at the same time and I feel so far from God during them, like I'm a totally different person. Anyone relate?

Recently I have been struggling with sexual themed OCD and my main concern is that I can't help but thinking of real life situations, sexual thoughts, and feeling like I would enjoy it in real life (pocd, etc). I even have dreams in which I enjoy these sexual situations. I even feel like I like to think of these thoughts to test myself. I feel really disgusting and lost... Is is OCD or real attraction? Does it happen to anyone else? Would anyone have advice for me? Thank you so much and good luck 🫂

[TW: Sexual trauma, fetishes and kinks, POCD, guilt and mentions of suicidal thoughts] I've been hit hard with a variation of my OCD theme (POCD woo 🙄). And I've been researching and seeking reassurance like there's no tomorrow. I was doing so good, but then OCD grabbed the reigns and bam! What I'm dealing with is a combination of my OCD, my childhood trauma, and my sexuality and fetishes. And these are fetishes I can't deny I have, but I don't want them! My OCD is royally messing with me as it's not so much, "I'm afraid I'll be attracted to thos thing" but more of "you're attracted to this thing so what do you'd like this messed illegal thing! Or what if you have looked at a messed up illegal thing and are going to jail! And no one will love you! And your life is over!" Etc. It hurts so bad, I wish my trauma didn't give me the fetishes and kinks I like. But I understand it's a normal way the brain helps you deal with stuff. It's been so hard and so scary. I hate that I am a sexual being at all. For crying out loud I've never even had a first kiss let alone literally anything more than that! I feel dirty, guilty and ashamed. I am seeing a trauma and sex therapist to help me process this stuff. But of course OCD being the attention hog is like "Lemme squeeze in here and just totally ruin your day!" Because god knows it never gets enough attention 🙄 I feel like if I have desires or things I like that are too messed up what's the point of me being alive of most everyone would call me a perverted monster. I don't want anyone to get hurt in real life. I don't want to hurt anyone. If my sexuality is demented and there's nothing I can do about it, how long could I live with myself carrying this awful secret? I need help, not reassurance, but how the hell do I practice radical acceptance with this???