TW pocd This is really hard to explain but I’ll try. Struggle with POCD. I find the thoughts absolutely revolting but I think? A compulsion of mine is replaying the thought to check as the unwanted thought makes me feel like I “enjoy” the thought? It’s sickening. Anyway, the thought came, then another thought / temptation? Came to rethink the thought and “check” it. I resisted but then got this sickening feeling like my mind was telling me “awwww you’re disappointed you couldn’t enjoy the thought and at the same time find it repulsive” and know I feel like I’m just in denial that I secretly like the thought. My biggest fear is that I’m secretly attracted. Can anyone shed this light? Is this still OCD or temptation / unrepentant sin? ( I’m Christian. ) Thanks guys, struggling so much.

I honestly feel the same way I’m so desensitized to subjects like pedophilia and rape. My thoughts tell me if no one said those things were bad, I’d probably enjoy and indulge in it. It’s like my brain can’t tell itself that those things are bad on its own. I feel like I’m secretly a sexual deviant with no morals.

I'm slowly coming out of a pocd bout. My thinking is it's ok to notice if someone under 18 is good looking - but black & white thinking makes you think that if you can think that then you must like it when you think of obscene images, which isn't true lol. For example - I think my mom is beautiful but it doesn't mean I want to see her in a sexual way. It's a weird gray area - which isn't that weird but we're black & white thinkers. And you know you're making it more than what it is when you have to keep checking. Do you keep checking your soup to see if it's hot while you're eating it?

I experience this exactly with my HOCD. It’s like I think the thought but then have this urge/desire to go back and ‘really’ think about it/“see them in that way” (this is how I describe it to others which doesn’t really make sense, but it’s hard to put OCD into words). It’s hard to distinguish this feeling as a compulsion because it feels so real and like a strong desire or piqued interest. But I know that compulsions often feel urgent and nagging, which is how this feels. Also, checking is a common mental compulsion in OCD!

Think about how you feel when you get these thoughts. To me it sounds that your are in distress and that these thoughts not only disgust you, but are also against who you are, right? Now ask yourself if someone who actually wants to do these horrific things in real life would feel the same way you do.

I had this for a while but even you guys saying it out loud, talking about it, shows that you are good people with good morals and you know that at the end of the day you’ll come off better. One question I used to ask myself was if it ever came to it would I be able to do that to an innocent child? The answer was no.