TW pocd This is really hard to explain but I’ll try. Struggle with POCD. I find the thoughts absolutely revolting but I think? A compulsion of mine is replaying the thought to check as the unwanted thought makes me feel like I “enjoy” the thought? It’s sickening. Anyway, the thought came, then another thought / temptation? Came to rethink the thought and “check” it. I resisted but then got this sickening feeling like my mind was telling me “awwww you’re disappointed you couldn’t enjoy the thought and at the same time find it repulsive” and know I feel like I’m just in denial that I secretly like the thought. My biggest fear is that I’m secretly attracted. Can anyone shed this light? Is this still OCD or temptation / unrepentant sin? ( I’m Christian. ) Thanks guys, struggling so much.

Username: ρєαcнєѕρєαcнєѕ

Date posted: 5y ago

I honestly feel the same way I’m so desensitized to subjects like pedophilia and rape. My thoughts tell me if no one said those things were bad, I’d probably enjoy and indulge in it. It’s like my brain can’t tell itself that those things are bad on its own. I feel like I’m secretly a sexual deviant with no morals.

Username: kfitz421kfitz421

Date posted: 5y ago

I'm slowly coming out of a pocd bout. My thinking is it's ok to notice if someone under 18 is good looking - but black & white thinking makes you think that if you can think that then you must like it when you think of obscene images, which isn't true lol. For example - I think my mom is beautiful but it doesn't mean I want to see her in a sexual way. It's a weird gray area - which isn't that weird but we're black & white thinkers. And you know you're making it more than what it is when you have to keep checking. Do you keep checking your soup to see if it's hot while you're eating it?

Username: m.a.d.m.a.d.

Date posted: 5y ago

I experience this exactly with my HOCD. It’s like I think the thought but then have this urge/desire to go back and ‘really’ think about it/“see them in that way” (this is how I describe it to others which doesn’t really make sense, but it’s hard to put OCD into words). It’s hard to distinguish this feeling as a compulsion because it feels so real and like a strong desire or piqued interest. But I know that compulsions often feel urgent and nagging, which is how this feels. Also, checking is a common mental compulsion in OCD!

Username: deputydeandeputydean

Date posted: 5y ago

Think about how you feel when you get these thoughts. To me it sounds that your are in distress and that these thoughts not only disgust you, but are also against who you are, right? Now ask yourself if someone who actually wants to do these horrific things in real life would feel the same way you do.

Username: sherlock97sherlock97

Date posted: 5y ago

I had this for a while but even you guys saying it out loud, talking about it, shows that you are good people with good morals and you know that at the end of the day you’ll come off better. One question I used to ask myself was if it ever came to it would I be able to do that to an innocent child? The answer was no.

Username: abowlofcereal

Date posted: 4y ago

Im in a tough spot. I have pocd and ive had hocd i havent been diagnosed by anyone but im positive im right. Im also not trying to type this out for reassurance but i dont know if this is,on top of that i had a disgusting addiction to transgender pornography. It didnt feel good after i watched it but i couldnt stop, i always told myself this is it no more but would always do it again. After This i questioned my sexuality i knew i wasnt attracted to the same sex but why was i watching this then. I really felt the affects of this january this year when one night my mind just kept repeating to me you are a pedophile, this really destroyed me i couldnt sleep and at times almost threw up because of this fear of becoming one. I started remembering moments in my life when i would watch hentai and looking back on it now i could consider it cp even though many people wouldnt to me it still feels like it. I know im not attracted to any of this stuff but i feel so broken and disconnected, i dont feel like i can tell anyone but i feel like i should i just dont know how. Sometimes i get urges to watch transgender porn again to prove that im not a pedo but i dont think any porn is good for anyone. Recently i became a christian and i keep praying that these thoughts will go away, going to church really helped me and theres a girl that i have a crush on there but now that im in isolation and my church isnt on things are really tough. I hope i can get through this time and come out stronger and mentaly better. I hope this is ocd. I am currently doing nofap which i feel is really helping me and im on a very long streak. However i really dont want to watch transgender porn again but i keep feeling like if i do the thoughts will go away. I know i must not give up and fight through these thoughts to become the best possible me. Im sorry about this jumbled up mess but i needed to get this out there to someone.

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

Scrupulosity

I am a Christian and I was wondering with religious OCD that if you give in to a compulsion does that mean you agree with the thought or actually want it?

Username: sarahhutch24

Date posted: 1y ago

OCD and Christianity

Anyone here struggle with intense, intrusive thoughts and is also a Christian? It’s been so hard to believe that God can forgive me for the thoughts that I have been dealing with specifically related to causing harm to those I love, myself and even total strangers, and as a follower of Jesus I’ve wondered so many times how on earth could I possibly have thoughts like this? It terrifies me

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