- Username
- nlnnoaia
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Orgasms can happen. For example when you have a wet dream from intrusive thoughts. I actually typed this before I read @jl455289's quote. Very good.
"But, what about those who feel more than just a twinge or a swelling during or after unwanted thoughts, images or impulses? What about those who feel arousal or even experience an unwanted orgasm related to these thoughts? Some would assume this arousal is evidence of some type of denial or unconscious desires. This could not be further than the truth" reread that section.
So label it as OCD and dont reassure yourself. The more unacceptable you find your thoughts, the more intrusive they will become. Ive been there. Testing yourself to see if it is genuine is just another form of reassurance. It led me to more uncertainty.
(Obviously you did) so think to yourself what that implies. If it was truly you, you wouldn't be feeling the guilt/doubt you are feeling.
I've had an orgasm because of a sexually intrusive dream. I went from dreaming about sleeping with girls and waking up satisfied and full of hope, to having sexually intrusive dreams and waking up sobbing in horror. Also, what's TMI?
Thank you guys. I don’t know how something that feels so wrong can feel so real. It’s really wearing me out. Knowing I’m not alone with this really helps me. My dreams are also horrific, but they only happen whenever I’m giving too much power to my OCD. During recovery (and I was almost free of symptoms) I didn’t have such dreams and sensations, but now I have a relapse and it’s worse than before. I guess it’s because this time I let my OCD convince me too much. I’m giving in to nearly every compulsion, thinking about every thought too much and feeling like giving up. The groinal responses are the worst part of it at the moment. But knowing it happened/still happens to someone else and that it’s a common symptom and NOT proof for my sexuality convinces me to keep fighting. I really am sorry that you have to go through the same stuff. This shit is scary as hell and sadly very convincing. I guess for feeling better you have to be convinced that no matter what you’re thinking or feeling, you’re still a good person and worth it. And that it’s not the real you. But it’s hard, it really is.
@figuringitallo men, fortunately, get multiple erections per night. Sometimes I've awaken to erections after having really weird dreams. What was troubling to me was that they'd turn "wet". Just now I was walking past this cute girl. She was looking at me and smiled when I looked back. I felt this pleasant tickle or butterflies if you will. Things like that happen and I know I'm into girls, but that's reassurance...
It does a little bit, but does it mean you can also get orgasms from intrusive thoughts?
The author warns to not use the article as reassurance so read the end, too.
I don’t get the last sentence
“this could not be further than the truth” does it mean people who feel real arousal are in denial?
I know reassurance isn’t a solution to all of this but right now I just need it :(
It means it has nothing to do with your desire.
Did you experience anxiety/guilt?
Really relate to this. I’ll feel some kind of GR, then I’ll test the thought again, and I feel nothing, I get into a nasty cycle of testing. And yes, GR’s can be more than just a twitch. Part of what’s exacerbated my OCD is when I’ve had sexually intrusive dreams and feeling aroused, and when I got an erection at a really inconvenient time. (Sorry if that’s TMI)
“Too much information” - sorry, should’ve clarified! Thanks for sharing that story. Im really in that place now, struggling. My dreams have gotten really bad, and I can’t decide whether or not it’s OCD or really me. Waking up with an erection to them is what’s really doing me in. It makes it feel real and wanted. @deputydean
@deputydean yuuuuuppp. That’s always the scariest. That same thing happens to me, when I feel actual attraction to an adult I’m like “why are you even obsessing?! You clearly aren’t what you fear.”
WARNING: POCD I need to know your thoughts... I'm panicking and feeling horrible This is probably one of the first events that made me wonder if I was a "p". (I'm female, 20s) Two years ago, in the summer, I went to a friend's house and I met her younger sister (8, at the time). She was very sweet and adorable and I liked her so much! She showed me her toys and she was always around me... I feared I was feeling some sort of attraction to her... And now that I am recalling the event, I'm getting so afraid that this attraction was, in fact, real. I'm on the verge of tears right now ... Because it was so strong... Believe me, this felt like attraction. I'm thinking about her as I'm writing this and I'm remembering the warm feeling I experienced (like I was developing a crush) - I just want to cry because I don't want to be a "p". I spent the whole day in panic and wondering If I was "p" and if I was attracted to her. I tried to dismiss the thoughts and enjoy the day. I've always wanted a little sister and one day (at that time), I wanted to have a daughter someday. I've played with her and talked with her. Later that day, we went to the pool and I played with her again and even gave her piggyback rides (which now, I know it was a mistake - because I am getting flawed (false) memories that I touched her butt but I'm almost sure that I only touched her legs when giving the piggyback rides but I'm afraid that I touched her butt on purpose too to be deviant! I feel like I would be capable of doing such a awful thing). I remember enjoying her company and wanting to be more time with her... But now I'm so scared that I had bad intentions, because "p" people want to be around children. I feel like there was more than "having a child/sister for a day" because of my strong feelings for this girl. I regreted this whole dayAnd when I went back to her house, I avoided the child at all costs. What do I do?? I feel so hopeless... I am crying like crazy, not knowing what to do. I feel like a "p". I am so scared that I was attracted to her and now I have this new false memory that scares me... Please help me... I'm in despair..This particular story weights on me. I'm reviewing it over and over (taking the false memory off) and I don't think I did anything wrong BUT I cant help but to feel uncertain about it... Even if I didnt do anything wrong, I still feel bad for not avoiding it. I felt like a "p" the whole day... I had these intrusive thoughts the whole day... Yet, I wanted to be near the child and play with her?? I was trying to dismiss my thoughts - I tried to fight them! but I can't help to feel that what I did was predatory! Or wrong! I have been crying so much about this subject... I have high morals... And everytime an adult plays with a child is usually a "p" or a predator... I am so afraid that my "desire" to be with this child was an indicator that I'm a p or a bad person in general. Please... I want to know your opinions (I also have another question. I also felt "dirty" all day. Are all of these symptoms normal in ocd? Do people with ocd can like being with children? Are even these questions making sense?) I can't help to reinforce this! I felt terrible afterwards - I regret it so much... I felt dirty during that event, after that event and even today! This was my first time (or one of the first times) dealing with with pocd... I thought it was my brain trying to get me... So I tried to fight it! But... I feel like shit for not avoiding her... I'm so afraid I actually felt attraction for her because it was so strong the affection I experienced for her... I feel like a p... I'm so done...
Yesterday I was helping a child change and I was touching their skin for some reason (helping them pull up their pants or something) and then I was like “wow their skin is so soft and then I had a bad thought and then backed away. I’m really scared I am I p*do pile and did I touch them inappropriately?? I don’t want that answer to be yes or else I’m gonna throw up. I feel like I should’ve backed away when I was touching their skin soft but it felt like I was in slow motion. I’m so scared.
I was ruminating, even though I shouldn’t be. I remembered another time when I had the weird feeling I can’t explain. It was two years back when I was playing a game on my phone and a weird ad came up for another game. The ad basically had a girl who farted and felt embarrassed. It was a cartoon. I got a similar feeling. I started panicking that I had a fetish for farting or something. I remembered that there was a video I watched on porn in the past where a girl queefed during sex and I was turned on because it was probably embarrassing. Anyways, when I saw that ad It reminded me of this porn video. Since I got the similar weird/adrenaline feeling when seeing videos of kids uncomfortable, I am afraid that it really is sexual.
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