Ok so i understand living in uncertainty. But I did ERP as intensively as i could and i had no reaction to my past fears. I was thinking maybe I’m not trying hard enough. Therapist said thats another uncertainty i have to face because Im ruminating. Like i know who i am, beliefs. If i face uncertainty will i then be able to be myself even tho i might be uncertain. Because there can be doubt this and that, but even right now when im trying to be myself sometimes when i argue with my wife for example i feel like i cant have a stance. Or if i have a debate with someone else

You don't necessarily need to expose yourself to things all the time. What I am suggesting is trying to allow yourself to be anxious without diving deeper into the thought of "does my lack of anxiety mean something". Try not to reassure yourself or analyze it. Just let the thought of anxiety about not having anxiety be, and eventually it will go away naturally and will bother you less in the future

Just curious bc I’m spiraling, were you married before or after ocd?

You will get though this intrusive thought just as you did the last one. It takes time for our brains to switch the default neural network from one that triggers a fear response to one that doesn't.

Yea but i dont know if i need to intentionally expose myself when i gave hardcore to the max. Cause i know ocd is living with uncertainty

But i didnt experience anxiety like i fid before to the fears i tried to expose myself to

Yeah the stress behind the lack of anxiety is an intrusive thoughts itself

Whats intrusive about it

It's bothering you.

Yea it is. Because im not sure if i need to feel the anxiety so i can practice repsone prevention. Or when i need to do erp and practice uncertainty. When is it appropriate. 24/7? I just dont want to do it like i did it before because i tried as hard as i could but i had no response. No anxiety. I went into so much detail. I dont want to ruminate because i feel like thats what i might be doing. Trying to see if i can get the anxiety i used to have so i can practice response prevention. If i expose myself and think ablut the crazy stuff i might go crazy

But what im struggling is doing erp expsures so i can practice response prevention. Because i dont get the intrusive thoughts as i used to. And i dont want to keep exposing myself on purpose because of rumination to see if itll cUse anxiety