- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes, @%##! Its the worst. Even when I'm writing in my DIARY, that no one is gonna read its circles circles. And I can never STATE anything. For instance let's say I'm feeling annoyed I would write "I think that I have the feeling of annoyance, but I don't know maybe its something else, but I think I am feeling annoyed. And if I'm annoyed it is about ..." goosh!
- Date posted
- 4y
My therapist always has to stop me from talking and takes me back to the original thought. Maybe it's because this is a part of just right OCD. Like we have this compulsion to make sure that it all needs to come out, we have to cover every possible angle, even if thoughts overlap we feel we must cover all ground so nothing, NOTHING, gets looked over or is missed. Like, everything is discussed, no stone unturned. Shit, I realized I'm doing it right now as I'm writing this.
- Date posted
- 4y
It sooo annoying, im doing it all the time! 😅 I pray treatment will help with this too!
- Date posted
- 4y
You explained this so well (of course, minus the repetitions 😅)!!! I’ve had therapists in the past who were quite rude about my “talking in circles!” Luckily my current therapist is kind about it. She said something like, “Is this hard for you to talk about?” I didn’t understand what she meant at first, lol
- Date posted
- 4y
@em.jem We must learn to stop ourselves from talking :)
- Date posted
- 4y
I do that! I say the same thing over and over and over again thinking that I explain it better and better
- Date posted
- 4y
even in writing your post you did it :)
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you for reading everything I wrote! It makes me feel better that I’m not the only one with this issue haha 😂
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah. It IS annoying. My daughter tells me all the time: mom, I got it, enough. And I stop immediately.
- Date posted
- 4y
Haha, aw! They shouldn't have to though, so gonna work on it. Another thing I do is start telling a story from 5 different angles so no one understand what I'm saying, because I can't figure out the right way to say it! And get this thought hald a second into it that its WRONG to share it 🤣
- Date posted
- 4y
@asdfghj Yep. I really do think this is part of just right OCD. At least that's how it feels.
- Date posted
- 4y
@AnonymousV No matter what its a part of Im gonna learn to stop it. Im longing to tell a story straight, one time through, and make people laugh 😄
- Date posted
- 4y
@asdfghj You're right. I think I have this need to put everything into a proper category. :)
- Date posted
- 4y
@AnonymousV Lol, exactly! I only caught you in it cause my therapist said "I think you're compulsively checking with me if this or that or a or b is a compulsion". Even many of the things we believe we do to get better is compulsive: "gee, I just got to understand this perfectly first!" 😅 its completely ridiculous!
- Date posted
- 4y
@asdfghj Thank you for catching me! I never ever truly realized it until now. I have this need to make everything just right and never thought of it as something pathological. I'm sure I'll be checking myself at it a lot now.
- Date posted
- 4y
I even make sure my texts are grammatically correct and all the punctuation is in place I will experiment with ignoring the punctuation to oh and spelling to instead of too will be torture
- Date posted
- 4y
I'm a grammar nazi I have a friend whose texts are so hard to decipher because she texts like she had a stream of consciousness and it's a mess I'll do that now good luck reading this shit :)
- Date posted
- 4y
Hahaha! Been working on the same thing. Sending work emails with typos is a great exposure. I used to think "how do these people live with themselves" whenever I got emails with flaws. And when a friend pointed out I had been misspelling a word my entire life I had a breakdown 😅 for instance Im reading excessively about OCD, which of course can be to educate myself to get better, but mostly it's hindering my recovery because I'm stuck on understanding perfectly instead of actual recovery.
- Date posted
- 4y
@asdfghj Yes!!!!!!!! It's s compulsion. For sure. So I stopped. For now. While I'm feeling ok. Let's what happened when I start freaking out again and will start looking for reassurance through videos and such.
- Date posted
- 4y
@AnonymousV Ouf! We can do hard things! 💪
- Date posted
- 4y
@asdfghj Indeed!
- Date posted
- 4y
Do you guys also have problems asking questions? Like I have some questions that I ask my eating disorder doctors that don’t have an answer (because science hasn’t found an answer yet). And I just NEED to find the answer so I ask the question multiple times in different ways. It’s like I think that an answer will magically appear if I ask the question in a different way. But I know there are no “perfect words” that will help me get an answer. I feel awful every time I do this to my doctors. Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m doing it.
- Date posted
- 4y
Oh, wow. Yes! I have always thought the question part was about reassurance. But it definitely is about perfectionism and accuracy and just right as well. I'm rephrasing and when the other person notice and says "you're still asking x" I'm like "but this is different!"
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
I don’t know what I can do. I guess this is more of a depression thing than OCD but who knows. I have been battling this ongoing war within myself for years now and it’s been affecting my academic performance. situation of mine right now: I haven’t done a lot of work for my classes this month and I feel like I’m going to fail the semester again. I don’t know what it is but I can never seem to begin any work. I know I am capable but why can’t I get myself to start? why has this been going on for so long? I don’t understand. I have a history of good grades back in high school before I turned 17. I don’t even know how to describe it. it’s like I’ve been paralyzed and cannot do any work. but I can somehow do offside tasks like pinterest boards or random youtube videos. if I get rid of those, what do I do? I end up sleeping. because I’m tired. I have a low vitamin D deficiency & have been trying to get energy. I’m at a loss. I also bought unnecessary stuff on sunday when I went out with my family. I bought some things for the kids and I ended up buying myself a dress and a few accessories. now I have to work extra to gain that money back doing uber eats because I need it asap. it’s like I don’t want to work, for now. my coworkers who are around my age don’t work as much & I think to myself, “wow, they must be getting in the work done” meanwhile I’m working 3 days a week (which isn’t much) and attending school. I feel like if I change my schedule again, I’ll ruin it for the rest of my driver coworkers. I’m in a lead position at work so having to put on a mask is quite tiring. there’s so much I want to say that I don’t think it will fit in this post. I have booked a mental health session with a school counselor. all I want at the moment is to have my own place and be in a better mental state to take care of my cats. they mean a lot to me but this stupid ass undiagnosed mental issue is getting in the way. sorry for the long rant. I am tired.
- Date posted
- 12w
I actually didn't realise this til now because I just assumed it was a coping mechanism from when I was really young. But when I tend to get stressed out or overwhelmed, I'll often start talking out loud to myself (which mostly means just whispering to myself because if i spoke really loudly, my mom would hear me lol). But nowadays with my fear of being surveilled, I keep having to catch myself because it's such a habit at this point for me to whisper out loud. Especially with me trying to reason through my false memories or really bad intrusive thoughts. Another compulsion. And then I keep thinking omg did I have my phone with me when I said that. Is anyone watching me rn? What if this person (that probably doesn't even exist) thinks my thoughts are true? What would everyone else think? And then I spiral afterwards. It sucks because I feel like I'm policing myself even when I know these are all just things I'm saying out loud and they don't mean anything— they're just thoughts after all. But I have this worry that if someone overheard me or all of this was suddenly revealed, that it might change how people see me or people might hate me or think i'm a bad person. And then I worry about me being worried about that because then I ask myself would a good person be worried about this? Anyways, another long post with me waffling and rambling. Thank you for taking the time to read this ❤️🩹
- POCD
- Real Events OCD
- BIPOC with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- False Memory OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 12w
First off - I’m sorry, I post here a lot. My thoughts are going to be scattered because I have the adhd/ocd/executive dysfunction wombo combo. Im so embarrassed I am THIS neurodivergent. I swear my brain couldn’t pick one struggle and settle with it. I’m not making these diagnoses quirky personality traits by any means, in fact, in this post im venting about how exhausting and embarassed I am living with a brain like this on the daily. I need to hear someone’s advice please. I love hearing everyone’s advice on posts because it’s so useful, and brings me back down to reality. Everyone on here gives advice so tastefully in a way where it doesn’t feed into the self reassurance compulsion, but it’s also been thorough and constructive enough where it’s reminded me to ground myself in a healthy way. I love seeing others helping others, it soothes me. This community has been so kind, and I’m so happy I found it. I wish I could ask more, but I have so many questions I think it’d drive everyone here crazy lol. I am doing erp therapy now, and it’s been teaching me so many amazing techniques. I’ve been making progress. However, I sometimes have my moments of vunerablity. I’ve been experiencing this especially now more than ever because I am going through a breakup. He did it through text after nearly 9 months together. I’d do anything for him and love him through anything, and he broke my heart when I least expected it. I’d make his bed for him multiple times, but I haven’t done that for myself in years. I’d sit with him for hours to watch and do anything he likes, but he’d never do the same and I’d never do the same for me. I’m also at fault because I was too scared to speak up so I let a lot of disrespect slide. Why did my ocd do that? Why does ocd make me people please even when I don’t want to? Why does OCD make me care so much about things that will never effect me (like wanting validation from a random person on the street and hoping they’ll think I’m pretty enough to look at), but then when it comes to my future or positive wellbeing (like focusing on college/doing well in classes/personal hygiene/health), forces me to not care/neglect myself and those needs? I don’t understand it. Ocd makes me think everything’s a setup or a trap. I can never believe that I am fine right where I want to be. Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I even think this much? I care and feel so deeply but it becomes unhealthy so fast because ocd makes me fixate and I stay there for a while. For some reason I let this breakup define my self worth. I let it topple into the ocd fear that I will never make it in life - that I won’t be successful, I’ll never get the career I want, the love I want, or the life I want. My OCD’s version of “logic” isn’t even logical. Yes, I understand how the breakup means feelings of low self worth which will then topple into feeling bad about other things. But why has my brain been wired to think this way? Why does it seem so easy for everyone else to function normally with life but not me? Honestly this is the first time in my life where I’m dedicated to focusing on myself and learning more about myself instead of others in my life and it’s a very odd and bizarre feeling. I’m excited of course, but I’m also scared. My ocd makes me ruminate like “what if I will never make the most of this life I’ve been given”, “what if I truly have no worth and the most I will ever be in other people’s lives is a background character”, “why do I care if I’m a background character or not? I should feel guilty and ignorant for assuming everyone will automatically like me”, “are people lying to me when they call me pretty, smart or kind?”, “I need to look and sound perfect in both pictures, videos and in real life. I will never be satisfied for accepting who I am now”, and a bunch of other annoying questions. But sometimes it’s like I just can’t take the reality for what it is but at the same time, but I also acknowledge that I know this is ocd talking. This is so, so difficult. Do I make any sense with what I’m saying? Can anyone help?
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