- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Yes, @%##! Its the worst. Even when I'm writing in my DIARY, that no one is gonna read its circles circles. And I can never STATE anything. For instance let's say I'm feeling annoyed I would write "I think that I have the feeling of annoyance, but I don't know maybe its something else, but I think I am feeling annoyed. And if I'm annoyed it is about ..." goosh!
- Date posted
- 4y
My therapist always has to stop me from talking and takes me back to the original thought. Maybe it's because this is a part of just right OCD. Like we have this compulsion to make sure that it all needs to come out, we have to cover every possible angle, even if thoughts overlap we feel we must cover all ground so nothing, NOTHING, gets looked over or is missed. Like, everything is discussed, no stone unturned. Shit, I realized I'm doing it right now as I'm writing this.
- Date posted
- 4y
It sooo annoying, im doing it all the time! 😅 I pray treatment will help with this too!
- Date posted
- 4y
You explained this so well (of course, minus the repetitions 😅)!!! I’ve had therapists in the past who were quite rude about my “talking in circles!” Luckily my current therapist is kind about it. She said something like, “Is this hard for you to talk about?” I didn’t understand what she meant at first, lol
- Date posted
- 4y
@em.jem We must learn to stop ourselves from talking :)
- Date posted
- 4y
I do that! I say the same thing over and over and over again thinking that I explain it better and better
- Date posted
- 4y
even in writing your post you did it :)
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you for reading everything I wrote! It makes me feel better that I’m not the only one with this issue haha 😂
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah. It IS annoying. My daughter tells me all the time: mom, I got it, enough. And I stop immediately.
- Date posted
- 4y
Haha, aw! They shouldn't have to though, so gonna work on it. Another thing I do is start telling a story from 5 different angles so no one understand what I'm saying, because I can't figure out the right way to say it! And get this thought hald a second into it that its WRONG to share it 🤣
- Date posted
- 4y
@asdfghj Yep. I really do think this is part of just right OCD. At least that's how it feels.
- Date posted
- 4y
@AnonymousV No matter what its a part of Im gonna learn to stop it. Im longing to tell a story straight, one time through, and make people laugh 😄
- Date posted
- 4y
@asdfghj You're right. I think I have this need to put everything into a proper category. :)
- Date posted
- 4y
@AnonymousV Lol, exactly! I only caught you in it cause my therapist said "I think you're compulsively checking with me if this or that or a or b is a compulsion". Even many of the things we believe we do to get better is compulsive: "gee, I just got to understand this perfectly first!" 😅 its completely ridiculous!
- Date posted
- 4y
@asdfghj Thank you for catching me! I never ever truly realized it until now. I have this need to make everything just right and never thought of it as something pathological. I'm sure I'll be checking myself at it a lot now.
- Date posted
- 4y
I even make sure my texts are grammatically correct and all the punctuation is in place I will experiment with ignoring the punctuation to oh and spelling to instead of too will be torture
- Date posted
- 4y
I'm a grammar nazi I have a friend whose texts are so hard to decipher because she texts like she had a stream of consciousness and it's a mess I'll do that now good luck reading this shit :)
- Date posted
- 4y
Hahaha! Been working on the same thing. Sending work emails with typos is a great exposure. I used to think "how do these people live with themselves" whenever I got emails with flaws. And when a friend pointed out I had been misspelling a word my entire life I had a breakdown 😅 for instance Im reading excessively about OCD, which of course can be to educate myself to get better, but mostly it's hindering my recovery because I'm stuck on understanding perfectly instead of actual recovery.
- Date posted
- 4y
@asdfghj Yes!!!!!!!! It's s compulsion. For sure. So I stopped. For now. While I'm feeling ok. Let's what happened when I start freaking out again and will start looking for reassurance through videos and such.
- Date posted
- 4y
@AnonymousV Ouf! We can do hard things! 💪
- Date posted
- 4y
@asdfghj Indeed!
- Date posted
- 4y
Do you guys also have problems asking questions? Like I have some questions that I ask my eating disorder doctors that don’t have an answer (because science hasn’t found an answer yet). And I just NEED to find the answer so I ask the question multiple times in different ways. It’s like I think that an answer will magically appear if I ask the question in a different way. But I know there are no “perfect words” that will help me get an answer. I feel awful every time I do this to my doctors. Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m doing it.
- Date posted
- 4y
Oh, wow. Yes! I have always thought the question part was about reassurance. But it definitely is about perfectionism and accuracy and just right as well. I'm rephrasing and when the other person notice and says "you're still asking x" I'm like "but this is different!"
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
Hi, I’m new here!! I’m praying I don’t get judged for this. But, back in late May of 2022 ( literally right before I graduated high school), I added this one random girl from my school on Snapchat. She posted something about a graduation party , so I swiped up on her story basically saying how I can’t believe we’re almost graduated. She replied and we had a really short and simple conversation. The next day ( i believe) , we started talking a lot , and I just so happened to see her at the highschool when we were grabbing our graduation outfits and doing the rehearsal. When I saw her irl, I kinda got turned off ( I heard she was kinda crazy) , and on top of that , she was a little ugly irl. I remember seeing her Snapchat bio , and she was close friends with my female cousin ( a year younger than me) , who I happened to experiment sexually with when I was 10-11 years old. I remember going to work later that day and having sort of a lightbulb flick thought ( it wasn’t a good thought though) , what if my cousin told her about what happened when we were younger? So I started to kind of panic and immediately distanced myself from that girl. I also experimented sexually with one of my female friends when I was 10-11 , and from that day onwards, I’ve been pretty much living in paranoia and a little bit of guilt about someone finding out and my life being ruined . On top of that, It’s gotten worse to now sometimes I wonder if a girl I added off of quick add ( Snapchat) is underage even if they told me they were 18+ or had 18 and above in their bio, and I get so much guilt and anxiety about that. I even had a quick thought last February on what if I did something inappropriate with my younger cousin when I was 15-16 but I just can’t exactly remember when it happened , and it still eats me alive when I think about it, because I don’t know if it happened or not. I’m sorry for the long vent, I just wish I felt normal again. No matter how much I try to do things that old me used to do, life always feels “ off”. I always kept the top part about when I was younger a secret up until early (ish ) 2024, then I vented to one of my best friends and he told me that that’s a normal thing to do at a young age. Since then, I have told multiple friends and they all say they did similar stuff, but my brain just can’t accept that. Please help me, I quite literally overthink everything nowadays. 2021 was the last full year that I felt normal ( coincidentally, the best year of my life so far) . It’s not just about sexual related things either, sometimes I’ll wonder if I messed up something at work or hit a car while driving/hit someone and drove off. I just wanna live my life how I was supposed to live it after highschool ( carefree and happy) before whatever it is ( I think it’s ocd) hit me unexpectedly. Thanks to anyone who read this , I just needed to pour it out regardless of how negative I felt typing this, I hope someone can relate , because I feel so alone in my head at times.
- Date posted
- 18w
i’ve been dealing with this “thing” since i was 15. (i’m 23 now) if i have a bad memory that i have done when i was really young or just an intrusive thought i feel like i need to tell my mom or boyfriend. it’s been on and off ever since but since January hit it’s been an everyday thing about the littlest things. mostly about my relationship. an example is i was talking to someone random at my job and we were talking about taxes and when im in deep thought or just thinking i do a thing where i bite my lip (not in the sexual way) and i had a thought when it happened “was that sexual?” and i felt like i did something wrong and i went for a while thinking that until i told my boyfriend about it. or like my ex’s face has popped up in my head in the most inappropriate times and i feel the need that i have to tell him. (my ex was not a good person) i feel like im a prisoner in my head everyday, trying to justify thoughts or remind myself that its just a thought. i didnt know that this was or could be a form of ocd. it runs in my family but i’ve just never considered it being this. i always called it anxiety or depression but i always felt like it is more than that.
- Date posted
- 12w
I cannot tell if this is OCD assigning meaning where there is none, or if it is something else entirely. I have ADHD, and I tend to hyperfixate on people, specifically men I find interesting. It feels like a crush. Maybe it is a crush. I do not know. It does not matter. I daydream a lot. I have posted about this before, and the responses were helpful, but right now I am spiraling again. Lately, what I think is a dopamine-driven hyperfixation has latched onto my supervisor at work. I actively stop myself from ruminating too much about what it could mean. I remind myself they are just thoughts. I love my boyfriend and I am committed to him. But I have noticed that I sometimes *hope* something goes wrong with an order, just so I have a reason to talk to my supervisor, even if the interaction is only a few sentences. I do not even smile at him because I am so afraid of being disloyal or disrespectful to my boyfriend. The other day, my voice sounded nice, and I got scared that I did that on *purpose* because I was talking to my supervisor. I know how to make my voice sound smoother, and I worried that I subconsciously did it for him. I know people do that kind of thing to seem pleasant in general, but it feels wrong when it is tied to one specific person. There was another moment where I had to bend slightly, and I knew he was behind me, though I didn’t know he would walk in my direction. It turned into a kind of awkward traffic situation, and I started wondering if I *hoped* for that. I even caught myself thinking about whether he finds me attractive. I know that these thoughts might be in the normal range, but the fact that I think about him so much, daydreaming, hoping for interactions, mentally replaying things, feeling excitement, makes me feel incredibly guilty. Is that disrespectful to my boyfriend? I don’t think I’m flirting. But I feel like even hoping/looking for interactions or tweaking my voice counts as some kind of betrayal. I just don’t know. To me, it sounds like a mix of ADHD and OCD, It really does feel like chaos inside my head. I want to be honest with my boyfriend, but I know talking about this stuff makes his jealousy flare up, and understandably so I’m a jealous person myself. But if I don’t confess, it feels like I am hiding something and it feels *extra* disloyal. I know that daydreaming and a bit of excitement are normal, especially with ADHD and dopamine-seeking, but when I go out of my way for a few-sentence interaction, or crave eye contact, is that disloyal? I am not asking for reassurance. I genuinely want to understand if this is normal or if it crosses a line. I am scared that I am just making excuses for bad behavior. I am scared that this is not okay and I am doing it anyway. I wish I could ask my therapist about this, but I had to stop going recently. She always understood how my brain works, especially the difference between reassurance-seeking and genuinely wanting clarity. She was really good at helping me figure out whether something was common or explainable. It helped so much to just know if something was normal, even if knowing did not stop the rumination. That’s kind of what I am looking for now, just someone to tell me if this pattern makes sense or if it crosses a line. Please help :(
- "Pure" OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Students with OCD
- Relationship OCD
- BIPOC with OCD
- Religion & Spirituality OCD
- OCD newbies
- Real Events OCD
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond