- Username
- em.jem
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Yes, @%##! Its the worst. Even when I'm writing in my DIARY, that no one is gonna read its circles circles. And I can never STATE anything. For instance let's say I'm feeling annoyed I would write "I think that I have the feeling of annoyance, but I don't know maybe its something else, but I think I am feeling annoyed. And if I'm annoyed it is about ..." goosh!
My therapist always has to stop me from talking and takes me back to the original thought. Maybe it's because this is a part of just right OCD. Like we have this compulsion to make sure that it all needs to come out, we have to cover every possible angle, even if thoughts overlap we feel we must cover all ground so nothing, NOTHING, gets looked over or is missed. Like, everything is discussed, no stone unturned. Shit, I realized I'm doing it right now as I'm writing this.
It sooo annoying, im doing it all the time! 😅 I pray treatment will help with this too!
You explained this so well (of course, minus the repetitions 😅)!!! I’ve had therapists in the past who were quite rude about my “talking in circles!” Luckily my current therapist is kind about it. She said something like, “Is this hard for you to talk about?” I didn’t understand what she meant at first, lol
@em.jem We must learn to stop ourselves from talking :)
I do that! I say the same thing over and over and over again thinking that I explain it better and better
even in writing your post you did it :)
Thank you for reading everything I wrote! It makes me feel better that I’m not the only one with this issue haha 😂
Yeah. It IS annoying. My daughter tells me all the time: mom, I got it, enough. And I stop immediately.
Haha, aw! They shouldn't have to though, so gonna work on it. Another thing I do is start telling a story from 5 different angles so no one understand what I'm saying, because I can't figure out the right way to say it! And get this thought hald a second into it that its WRONG to share it 🤣
@asdfghj Yep. I really do think this is part of just right OCD. At least that's how it feels.
@AnonymousV No matter what its a part of Im gonna learn to stop it. Im longing to tell a story straight, one time through, and make people laugh 😄
@asdfghj You're right. I think I have this need to put everything into a proper category. :)
@AnonymousV Lol, exactly! I only caught you in it cause my therapist said "I think you're compulsively checking with me if this or that or a or b is a compulsion". Even many of the things we believe we do to get better is compulsive: "gee, I just got to understand this perfectly first!" 😅 its completely ridiculous!
@asdfghj Thank you for catching me! I never ever truly realized it until now. I have this need to make everything just right and never thought of it as something pathological. I'm sure I'll be checking myself at it a lot now.
I even make sure my texts are grammatically correct and all the punctuation is in place I will experiment with ignoring the punctuation to oh and spelling to instead of too will be torture
I'm a grammar nazi I have a friend whose texts are so hard to decipher because she texts like she had a stream of consciousness and it's a mess I'll do that now good luck reading this shit :)
Hahaha! Been working on the same thing. Sending work emails with typos is a great exposure. I used to think "how do these people live with themselves" whenever I got emails with flaws. And when a friend pointed out I had been misspelling a word my entire life I had a breakdown 😅 for instance Im reading excessively about OCD, which of course can be to educate myself to get better, but mostly it's hindering my recovery because I'm stuck on understanding perfectly instead of actual recovery.
@asdfghj Yes!!!!!!!! It's s compulsion. For sure. So I stopped. For now. While I'm feeling ok. Let's what happened when I start freaking out again and will start looking for reassurance through videos and such.
@AnonymousV Ouf! We can do hard things! 💪
@asdfghj Indeed!
Do you guys also have problems asking questions? Like I have some questions that I ask my eating disorder doctors that don’t have an answer (because science hasn’t found an answer yet). And I just NEED to find the answer so I ask the question multiple times in different ways. It’s like I think that an answer will magically appear if I ask the question in a different way. But I know there are no “perfect words” that will help me get an answer. I feel awful every time I do this to my doctors. Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m doing it.
Oh, wow. Yes! I have always thought the question part was about reassurance. But it definitely is about perfectionism and accuracy and just right as well. I'm rephrasing and when the other person notice and says "you're still asking x" I'm like "but this is different!"
Hello, I’m new here. I don’t have a formal diagnosis, just sharing my experiences with my obsessive thoughts. The only compulsion I really have is note taking. I feel the need to hoard most of my thoughts and write extensive to do lists, even scolding myself in notes like “be better!” or “STOP being the way you are.” When driving or unavailable to write things down, I have to repeat the thoughts in my head so I won’t forget until I can “save” them. Does anyone else have any experience with this fear of forgetting/not living the perfect life? My notes also revolve around anything someone might causally mention, taking turmeric for example. Will I ever incorporate that into my routine? No, but I write it down just in case because otherwise I’m convinced I won‘t live a healthy, fulfilling life. This all started when I lost a relative and also my house. I wonder if those losses made me subconsciously afraid to lose more? I don’t know. On the bright side, my current medication has been helping my depression. I am able to function and get out of bed, for the most part. But when I am in class or work, I have such crippling self doubt. I don’t feel like I am capable of anything. I don’t trust myself with any tasks. It really gets me down, my thoughts just spiral and I can’t see myself being able to hold down a job that involves working with people…that leads to more note taking of how I can improve. I get such anxiety if I don’t know every little thing there is to know, necessary or not. I get so caught up in it that I can’t even do the bare minimum I DO know without messing up. Even my class notes are full of irrelevant notes from my obsessive thoughts that appear during a lesson, and a girl that sits near me laughs because of how crazy my notebook looks.
I’m wondering if anybody else deals with an intense inner dialogue. It seems like my thoughts overlap each other and sometimes don’t make sense. Whether it’s a song stuck in my head, a million thoughts at once or both. It seems to never stop, even my dreams are super vivid. More recently I’ve been noticing random words or sentences that somebody has said before that has no meaning to what I’m thinking about, it will just pop in my head for no reason. For example I’ll be in the shower and “hear” a sentence one of my friends said. It sounds like their voice but it’s just in my thoughts if that makes sense. My core fear is losing my mind, so this spirals and my ocd tries to convince me that I’m hearing voices. Can anyone relate? If so what are some things that you have found to be effective when it comes to staying present. I hate not being as involved in conversations or not giving my 100% attention to things happening around me
This obsession/theme is very confusing and I haven’t found anybody else who’s described it. Basically I am afraid of… speaking? Not like, a fear of public speaking, but like when I talk (or think about a future situation where I’ll need to talk) I get anxious. It’s become an automatic response. It’s stemming from me being afraid of saying inappropriate things while talking, or saying things that sound like inappropriate things while I’m speaking. I had really good therapy today, where I learned to not answer/engage with the OCD questions at all. However, I still am getting pretty anxious whenever I am speaking (basically tip-toeing around my words, constantly scanning and reviewing the words to make sure they didn’t sound like anything inappropriate). And if I’m not speaking, I’m thinking about how unusual this theme is and how stuck I feel, or I’m mentally reviewing past things I said to try and make sure they weren’t inappropriate. Does anybody have any sort of input on this? It’s puzzling me deeply, and it’s really inhibiting my ability to just speak. Instead of just talking, I am constantly thinking about talking, and trying to do it correctly. Thank you for reading. This disorder sucks.
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