Hey everyone — I wrote this in my journal the other day and I’m curious if anyone else experiences “talking in circles” or not being able to “get to the point” when answering a question because you think that a lot of information is necessary to answer it. I have this problem with schoolwork. Instead of a one-sentence answer, I’ll write a long paragraph explaining details that are relevant but aren’t necessary to answer the question. This entry is out of context, but I think you’ll get the vibe: ‘I want to say that I understood what you were asking. You were asking, “What has helped you to make progress in the past?” I understood why you were asking that question: so that you can help facilitate me in following the plan. I suppose I just didn’t have a good answer. And when I tried to answer, the thought I expressed branched off into another semi-related topic. I feel as if I can’t get a clear thought through. It makes me feel like I am stupid and unable to hold a followable and intelligible conversation. And then I understood what you were doing in response: you acknowledged what I said respectfully and then found a way to circle back to your original question which I didn’t answer very well. And then I would try and explain my answer to the original question again, but I had no direct answer and it led me off onto another path. I feel as if my cognition makes it difficult to hold a cohesive, purposeful, and coherent conversation. I want to apologize because I feel like I’m waisting time instead of getting to the important questions / topics. I really, really wish I could just put my stupid thoughts together in a concise way so that I could answer your question. I am painfully aware of my circling thoughts and overly-detailed responses that are difficult to follow. I am very self-conscious of it. And I am very well aware of which thoughts are normal and which are disordered. That’s why I always say, “I know that’s disordered.” I get afraid that people will think I’m crazy. I don’t know why this happens to me. Maybe it’s OCD, anxiety, or maybe it’s some other disorder that I’m not diagnosed with yet (ADD)? I’m also unsure if I talk like this all the time or if it’s only when I get anxiety or when a lot of thoughts that I want to express come into my mind at once. The same thing sometimes happens when I do my schoolwork. I get anxiety that what I am saying is unintelligible and that what I am saying makes no sense. I wonder if more medication will help or if this is just how I think. And I bet I’ve repeated myself numerous times in this script. So I’ll stop writing. I hope my point came across and I hope I was able to express all that I felt the need to say.’

First-time poster in the community here, but I had something really eating at me. I’m not sure if it’s an OCD symptom or not, but I feel like my brain has developed a coping mechanism over the years, and honestly, it bothers me daily that I can’t control it. I’ve been seen as a pretty smart person by my peers, and I can be smart, but I keep getting a reaction to thinking too much. I’ve noticed that on most days, I simply can’t think. I’m not talking like “I have so many solutions to this question”, but instead, it’s more like “I don’t know the answer, and if I try to find it I’ll be wrong” or simply I can’t recall the information. However, I’ll get these waves of what I call “kickstarts” where, all of a sudden, everything is so clear to me. I feel everything that I’m numb to, and at first, I’m glad to finally feel capable. But later that day, often several days that week, the fog is lifted and all of the terrible thoughts start to flow in. I’m in a loving relationship, and she’s given me no reason to second guess, but thoughts of her finding someone better than me always show, and thoughts that I’m not good enough, with thoughts that I can’t get to shut up long enough for me to do anything even remotely productive. I believe that paired with my depressive habits, OCD has really kicked my a** for my entire life, and the mental fog that has developed as a coping mechanism bothers me just as much, even causing obsessive thoughts that I am a poser, or a fraud, of a person. Thank you guys, if you read this long-winded rant, I just had to tell someone that it was bothering me before it exploded.

Hi! It’s pretty difficult for me to get the courage to post this but I’m really struggling to figure out if what I’m experiencing is OCD or Anxiety or neither. I think I have the “pure O” type of OCD where most of my compulsions take the form of ruminating and trying to figure out something all in my head. When I hear this talked about in forums or online the intrusive thoughts don’t really match mine- I worry often about things that seem more “grounded” if that makes sense. A common one for me is my own identity- i will spend long amounts of time stuck in my head trying to figure out my feelings (often sadness or other real emotions I have and patterns I have) and why I feel that way and what in my life caused that and how it’s impacting other things in my life. I also think often about which parts of my personality are the real me and which aren’t. Sometimes this takes the form of strictly ruminating and sometimes I have fake conversations with people I know. It’s intense and I feel I have to figure it out but with no specific intrusive thought that says something like “you have to figure this out or all of your loved ones will die” but it’s very intense. I think also often of all of the decisions I need to make in the future and how they’re going to affect those I love and care about as well as how much I’ll regret them. I imagine all of the ways I think my actions will emotionally hurt others and how to make the least harmful decision, but to me this feels like a valid concern but go over and over and never come to a conclusion. I often just get scared and never make any move because I don’t see an option that doesn’t hurt someone somehow. But again I’m having a hard time identifying the intrusive thought behind it. But I also don’t choose to think about these things most of the time. This is almost all decisions but especially big life decisions. It’s such a struggle because they are things I eventually do have to make decisions about. There is so much more to it that would take too long to explain but in general a lot of my fears revolve around pleasing others/ understanding others emotions to ensure they’re okay, my own identity and personality, and work/school performance. Someone mentioned OCD to me because in my head it feels like I have to solve these things and will go over and over them but I seriously can’t figure out if it’s anxiety, OCD, or none of the above. It’s all very disruptive to my life. I am never not thinking or not trying to figure something out and I feel as if I have no control over it Anyone have any insight?

Every time I try to talk about what I am feeling I feel like my mind goes blank and I don't know how to start I was diagnosed with OCD and I am taking medication and goes through CBT but I didn't feel like my life was back I didn't feel like I totally understand what is going on inside my mind and why this is happening and how. I feel like there is always something missed that I can't understand . The doctor and therapist didn't define what type of OCD I have But according to what I've read I think it's pure ocd cause I am always trying to understand every single thing and if I don't analyse I feel so frightened and not comfortable and these feelings come to me in different situation even if it's not about analysing. It comes when I draw ,study ,drive a car or just thinking about anything , Like when I think about how should I start a project or a job , I feel like I am soo lost like I am in nowhere so I feel panicked and dozens of thoughts come to my mind and I feel paralysed and soo overwhelmed . And these feelings just stay for a long time without knowing what triggered it so I don't know how to face then and they stay for a long time. I am not able to do anything in my life right now Neither study nor doing my hobbies . I feel like my life is frozen and I don't know if it will stay like this forever or not. Every time I feel like I controlled my ocd and know how to live with it it comes in a different shape that I can't recognise it and it sends me to the beginning and I feel like all my efforts were for nothing . Like it keeps beating me every time. I always afraid of my next setback and I keep feeling insecure and unstable until I have a relapse . Whenever I go through a problem, even the smallest problems, I feel stuck and suffocated and unable to face it with normal flexibility. I always focus on the details of each process so that if I forget how to do it or how I reached the ability to accomplish it, I remember how I did it before. And when I am unable to remember, the overwhelming feelings and frightening haunt me I feel like I'm monitoring my life in every detail so I feel safe, and if life goes smoothly and automatically,I feel frightened Sometimes I can face and deal with OCD in a good way to the point that I can return to my normal life rhythm, but suddenly the desire inside me to achieve and make up for what I missed takes me by surprise, and then an OCD attack takes me back to the beginning and reminds me that I am not as I was before. I feel that I cannot live and achieve what I want and face OCD at the same time. I am studying medicine and I am thinking of leaving it, even though I love it very much, but I am unable to study now, but if I leave it, what I am going through in my study of medicine in any other field will be repeated. Even when I am not doing anything I feel these feelings tie me up , like I feel I don't wanna do anything until these feelings disappear I have been in this state for 4 years. I feel that all my friends are moving forward and I am stuck. Is all of this OCD? I am very lost.