- Username
- em.jem
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Yes, @%##! Its the worst. Even when I'm writing in my DIARY, that no one is gonna read its circles circles. And I can never STATE anything. For instance let's say I'm feeling annoyed I would write "I think that I have the feeling of annoyance, but I don't know maybe its something else, but I think I am feeling annoyed. And if I'm annoyed it is about ..." goosh!
My therapist always has to stop me from talking and takes me back to the original thought. Maybe it's because this is a part of just right OCD. Like we have this compulsion to make sure that it all needs to come out, we have to cover every possible angle, even if thoughts overlap we feel we must cover all ground so nothing, NOTHING, gets looked over or is missed. Like, everything is discussed, no stone unturned. Shit, I realized I'm doing it right now as I'm writing this.
It sooo annoying, im doing it all the time! 😅 I pray treatment will help with this too!
You explained this so well (of course, minus the repetitions 😅)!!! I’ve had therapists in the past who were quite rude about my “talking in circles!” Luckily my current therapist is kind about it. She said something like, “Is this hard for you to talk about?” I didn’t understand what she meant at first, lol
@em.jem We must learn to stop ourselves from talking :)
I do that! I say the same thing over and over and over again thinking that I explain it better and better
even in writing your post you did it :)
Thank you for reading everything I wrote! It makes me feel better that I’m not the only one with this issue haha 😂
Yeah. It IS annoying. My daughter tells me all the time: mom, I got it, enough. And I stop immediately.
Haha, aw! They shouldn't have to though, so gonna work on it. Another thing I do is start telling a story from 5 different angles so no one understand what I'm saying, because I can't figure out the right way to say it! And get this thought hald a second into it that its WRONG to share it 🤣
@asdfghj Yep. I really do think this is part of just right OCD. At least that's how it feels.
@AnonymousV No matter what its a part of Im gonna learn to stop it. Im longing to tell a story straight, one time through, and make people laugh 😄
@asdfghj You're right. I think I have this need to put everything into a proper category. :)
@AnonymousV Lol, exactly! I only caught you in it cause my therapist said "I think you're compulsively checking with me if this or that or a or b is a compulsion". Even many of the things we believe we do to get better is compulsive: "gee, I just got to understand this perfectly first!" 😅 its completely ridiculous!
@asdfghj Thank you for catching me! I never ever truly realized it until now. I have this need to make everything just right and never thought of it as something pathological. I'm sure I'll be checking myself at it a lot now.
I even make sure my texts are grammatically correct and all the punctuation is in place I will experiment with ignoring the punctuation to oh and spelling to instead of too will be torture
I'm a grammar nazi I have a friend whose texts are so hard to decipher because she texts like she had a stream of consciousness and it's a mess I'll do that now good luck reading this shit :)
Hahaha! Been working on the same thing. Sending work emails with typos is a great exposure. I used to think "how do these people live with themselves" whenever I got emails with flaws. And when a friend pointed out I had been misspelling a word my entire life I had a breakdown 😅 for instance Im reading excessively about OCD, which of course can be to educate myself to get better, but mostly it's hindering my recovery because I'm stuck on understanding perfectly instead of actual recovery.
@asdfghj Yes!!!!!!!! It's s compulsion. For sure. So I stopped. For now. While I'm feeling ok. Let's what happened when I start freaking out again and will start looking for reassurance through videos and such.
@AnonymousV Ouf! We can do hard things! 💪
@asdfghj Indeed!
Do you guys also have problems asking questions? Like I have some questions that I ask my eating disorder doctors that don’t have an answer (because science hasn’t found an answer yet). And I just NEED to find the answer so I ask the question multiple times in different ways. It’s like I think that an answer will magically appear if I ask the question in a different way. But I know there are no “perfect words” that will help me get an answer. I feel awful every time I do this to my doctors. Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m doing it.
Oh, wow. Yes! I have always thought the question part was about reassurance. But it definitely is about perfectionism and accuracy and just right as well. I'm rephrasing and when the other person notice and says "you're still asking x" I'm like "but this is different!"
Hey everyone. This is my first post here and it’s probably going to be a long one because I guess I feel comfortable enough to be open here. I need help. When I first got diagnosed with OCD, I figured it only impacted a small part of my life. I thought I was only affected with compulsions and obsessions that dealt with contamination, tangible perfectionism and the obvious intrusive thoughts and that’s it. Well, I’ve come to realize that most of my thinking has been impacted by OCD. At this point the only way to describe how it feels to me is a forest of thorny vines growing in place of my mind or maybe through and around my brain constantly growing every-time I give into this type of thinking (which is basically all the time because I wasn’t aware this was OCD). I’ve definitely felt it more recently, but I know it’s always been there from what I recall from past memories. I got diagnosed not so long ago with OCD and I was happy to because it explained this thing I knew was wrong with me but I didn’t know how much it will and has impacted me in the past. So, I think I’ve created a matrix in my mind or strengthened the OCD thought patterns because now I feel like my OCD impacts everything I do. And I guess I’m saying I need help here because maybe you guys will be able to see it, maybe validate me and point me where I can get help. I’ve been telling the people around me, I think my thinking is disordered and I need help but I don’t think they really understand the amount it’s affecting me or grasp what I meant when I say “I Need Help”. I did have a therapist before but because of a insurance change, she can’t work with me anymore and I’m not sure when I’ll get another (just to clarify). Back to the matter, the past couple of months I’ve been in my head just thinking and thinking. About everything. To the point where my head starts to hurt or until I feel sick of thinking about it but I can’t. I find that’s my obsessions and compulsions (other than the need for order [which can also be mental]) are very mentally based and I find myself ashamed of them so I hide them so maybe that’s why the people around me don’t feel my need for getting help as much as I do. Anyways, examples of this have been, -constantly thinking about what’s the purpose of all of life and the hidden messages in life -feeling like if I don’t do everything perfectly then what the point or being very mad at myself -being obsessed with how I present to the rest of the world sometimes even in close relationships -having calculated movements and actions (having to move my body a certain way or it doesn’t feel right) -obsessing over an absolute truth -questioning friendships and other relationships - obsessing over achievements or failures -obsessing over people -obsessing over decisions and outcomes because I want to make the perfect decisions I could go on and on but basically it’s just a lot of thinking and ruminating and obsessing to the point where people tell me I look like I’m some where else all the time. And I’ve started to feel like I find comfort in it now. I’m also diagnosed with depression and anxiety and I feel like it’s all just OCD. And same goes for my dissociation. I feel like they all root from my OCD. I’m so tired of feeling like this all the time and without my therapist I feel like I’m stuck here. I can’t make decisions, I’m never present, I can’t make or keep friendships/ relationships, everything impacts me deeply because I create a emotional obsession to it, I can’t just be without questioning everything and I’m constantly in my head. I’ve also started getting high all the time because I feel like it’s the only way to escape my brain but I’ve felt like it’s getting out of hand. I’m starting to lose in any type of hope of getting better. Does anyone have an advice for working on OCD by yourself or identifying when it’s OCD (especially mental obsessions and compulsions) so I can start to chip at this boulder that’s weighing down my life and energy?
I’m wondering if anybody else deals with an intense inner dialogue. It seems like my thoughts overlap each other and sometimes don’t make sense. Whether it’s a song stuck in my head, a million thoughts at once or both. It seems to never stop, even my dreams are super vivid. More recently I’ve been noticing random words or sentences that somebody has said before that has no meaning to what I’m thinking about, it will just pop in my head for no reason. For example I’ll be in the shower and “hear” a sentence one of my friends said. It sounds like their voice but it’s just in my thoughts if that makes sense. My core fear is losing my mind, so this spirals and my ocd tries to convince me that I’m hearing voices. Can anyone relate? If so what are some things that you have found to be effective when it comes to staying present. I hate not being as involved in conversations or not giving my 100% attention to things happening around me
does anyone feel like ever since they started with intrusive thoughts / compulsions that you feel as if your brain has turned to mush and your intellect has vanished. it’s really hard for me to string sentences together & i feel as if everyone who speaks about ocd has this way of putting it that i never will be able to. i’m still untreated & in the dark to be honest. when it comes about speaking about what ive been through as well i can’t remember everything only the really bad episodes, it’s like my brain is hiding it away from me waiting for a day for me to remember and traumatise me all over again. i’m also petrified of saying the wrong things to people and potentially worsening their ocd or seeming to be uneducated about it and like i have no idea what i’m talking about. i’m still learning but i’m frustrated that i feel as if i still don’t know anything. does that make sense?
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