Can someone please just help me, I’m a 23 year old male and I have been molested by my cousins when I was younger and they did things to me when I was a kid and I ended up doing some sexual things to two other guys but I was like 11 or 12 I was little but I’m 23 now and i have so many intrusive thoughts about my sexuality I have a gf right now but it’s killing me I question myself every second I just don’t know what to do anymore I know I’m not gay but at the same time it’s like why did I do that to two other people when I was a kid what does that mean ? I’ve been fine until this past October my whole world fell apart with these thoughts from my past or something I’ve just lost myself.

Hello everyone! I’m new and I’m struggling. This thought has been following me for about a year now and it’s always the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing on my mind before I fall asleep. I love going to sleep because I can stop thinking about it and I hate waking up because instantly I’m like here we go again. I had a horrible experience about a year ago when I went for a facial. While I was laying there the man cleaning my face grabbed my penis and rubbed it. I froze and didn’t know how to react. I just wanted to leave the room. After that I kept on thinking why didn’t I react? Am I a homosexual and ever since that moment I have not been able to stop this thought! It’s mentally frustrating and I’m losing my ability to communicate and focus because it’s always in the back of my mind. I can’t sleep sometimes and I don’t know what to do. Please help!

Ok so my main theme is SOOCD and it eats me alive. When I was being bullied in school I became obsessed with talking to strangers on Omegle and began sexting people- including girls and idk if it’s because I thought it was wrong in my head or something which is why I enjoyed it? But immediately after I’d be like ew can’t believe I did that because I was just so horny for everything. I also watched lesbian porn too so this is something that I did for a couple of years since I was 16 but never something I wanted to do in real life. At the time I didn’t care it was some fun but I’m really traumatised by it ever since. I know I’m straight but my mind tells me because I did this online in the past there is no way I am straight. I feel so alone in the world I’ve been to therapy, had advice from several people but I just can’t listen to anyone because I know I’m the only one who has done that. I feel like it is sooooo hard to move past real events when you have OCD because people’s worst fear for me actually happened. So my OCD will forever convince me that I’m gay because of these events. I hate myself so much and always have- I don’t see a way past this and my life is slowly going downhill in every aspect because of it.

Hello everybody. I’ve written many times about this topic but can’t seem to find peace within me. I remember sexual mimicking during childhood with my female cousin. She would do this to some of my friends too. She would kiss us by tongue and touch us inappropriately but we felt like we couldn’t say anything. It was a game as she likes a bit and she would call us by his name. When I got a little bit older but still young , I remember playing some kind of similar game to this one with my brother. We were both under 12. I think I was probably 11-12 and he was 9-10. Maybe younger. I’m not very sure. We would not kiss but we would get too close when in the same bed ( without our parents in the house ) we would be naked and our bodies were inappropriately touching. We may also have experienced some kind of arrousal as I definitely remember my brother did. We both enjoyed this game but both also knew it was in appropriate and we wouldn’t let our parents know. This may have happened 4-5 times during the same summer . Not ever again. My psychologist really have tried to reassure me and let me know this is more common than I think. My after covid 19 and quarantines I experience rocd and relationship guilt. Even if I have already confessed this ( without details ) to my boyfriend , my mind keeps on pushing towards telling him again. My constant fear is “How will you marry this guy if he doesn’t know?” “You are not normal” “We had forgotten about it. You should tell him again”. But I know I shouldn’t confess again because this is an unending circle. Any advice to get over this?