Broke up with my boyfriend today and feel like crap. we love each other dearly but I hurt him about six months ago. An of and on friend of mine was someone who knew me very well, we had quite the history, and still remained friends after all that. My boyfriend thought he was in love with him and I loved him. I didn’t believe it and I still ended talking to him. Deep down, all I wanted was the truth my friend was hiding for me for two years. He said he went to UT but actually was going to the community college instead??? He lied about a lot of things he said to me and everyone told me what they thought, but even with that I wanted empirical data. This obsession broke my boyfriends heart. I got passed the problem and block my friend after he stalked my boyfriend and I behind my car in a bmw. My boyfriend never got over it though. Last night my boyfriend said he wanted a break, he said we were drifting apart, which was utter bs reason. So, after my classes were over he met me in my car. I told him I couldn’t do a break, you either have me, or you don’t. So I broke up with him. He explained how he’s been heartbroken over my friends and I situation together for the last six months and has been suppressing his pain. The guilt that hit me was shitty. I feel like a shitty person. Although I didn’t ever cheat, it feels like I did bc I crossed a line. All I wanted was the truth and I allowed my ocd to decide the faith of my relationship. We were crying in my car together for an hour while hugging and talking. I think we left of good terms since we do deeply love each other although he couldn’t get over that. That’s what is killing me. How much I hurt him and I feel so selfish for not seeing it and I can’t stop crying. My ocd is telling me how shitty of a person I am. Ugh this rant helped lol.

Relationship OCD

RedMax

Date posted: 6y

I feel like u handled it well considering u live with ocd. Maybe a break will help , I know u said u have me or u don’t. But maybe it’s good for u to clear u head and maybe u have a chance later. However if not that’s , that’s cool too. I feel like u handled it well so be proud of that. Break ups are tough , ocd or not

uglyjd

Date posted: 6y

I think its up to you to help communicate what happened. He thought that you loved another friend. Have you cleared that up? All I see is misunderstandings and just MORE communication! ? if you want to be with him, go back to him and clear things up. You need to make it up to him. I don’t think his reason was BS. If he thought that you loved another guy and felt distant for a long time, that makes pretty much sense! Imagine being in his shoes. Tell him how you feel. Love is a choice. What you did wasn’t ok. Talk about ur feelings and why he felt distant. Put more effort to fixing things, instead of placing an ultimatum. Good luck!

Rasmus

Date posted: 6y

Sounds like there have been some miscommunication about what OCD is all about. Talk to him about the difference between egodystonic and egosyntonic thoughts and desires. It sounds like he interpreted you as acting on egosyntonic thoughts and desires, which isn't OCD (crudely put). If he's still hurt then it is his loss. Both you and he have duties in your relationship if one or both have OCD, your partner have either inform himself or get information from you/your therapist about OCD, and you have to really try not to compulse, especially if it is ruining your relationship. Information is, to use an expression we use in Sweden, A and O (very, very important).

casepag

Date posted: 6y

Thank you guys

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