- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Watch the videos! You got this :)
This is amazing!! Congratulations on your journey
Algorithms are a blessing and a curse š¬ so glad youāre able to watch without being as scared though! Iām just starting my ERP journey (I suffer with ROCD+SOOCD as well) so itās comforting to know Iāll get here eventually. Congrats!!
I feel like Iāve had a lot of different categories of ocd. Some categories stick with me more and are repetitive. Iāve been doing well with mental health - not having anxiety stick around. When the physical feeling of anxiety sticks around, every thought is horrible, but when the feeling of anxiety is gone the obsessions donāt really impact me. If I can keep anxiety at bay, my life is good. Iāve been doing well lately, although this week I was scrolling through tictok and watched a video about someone in a coma and wondered if I was in a coma right now and didnāt know it. I had a panic attack for about 15 minutes. Anxiety, sweating, etc. It didnāt take ahold of me and it quickly lost its impact on me. It still shook me and I was just like āwowā where did that come from. Now I am staying away from social media. Is that avoidance? Should I make myself keep watching social media? Many ocd problems have come from social media or watching a movie or show that triggers something and then spirals. I am limiting what I watch, which I believe is good because I shouldnāt be watching that stuff anyway. What do you think?
I wouldnāt really say I have SO-OCD, but it manifests in some areas of my TOCD. Like if I see a woman for example my thoughts will go āwhat if I like her but as a man?ā like my thoughts say Iām a straight man instead of a straight woman. And itās really bothering me. If I see an attractive woman my brain will re-wire and imagine myself as a man looking at an attraction woman and it gets super uncomfortable that I have to like shake my head and say āno no no no noā multiple times to get the thought out. I know that counts as a compulsion but itās hard to not do it because itās so triggering. Now I donāt mind if I like women, however Iām really scared that Iām actually a straight man who likes women (or at least a bisexual man, considering I like men) and I hate it because I donāt want to be a man. Like Iāll think of my desired relationship as a woman dating a man but my OCD will switch it up to me being the man dating the woman, which is the opposite of what I want. I donāt want to be a man at all and I donāt want to date a woman, both of those are the opposite of my desires, but Iām still so scared. Iāll accept myself if I actually like women and am a bisexual woman, however I heard that being bisexual can mean being trans which scares me (for the record it was said in reddit by a sub which is mainly focused on a pseudoscientific phenomenon, that is still believed by the members to be true, so itās definitely not a trustworthy statement, but my OCD will use anything to work against me) Does anyone here relate a little? š„²
Hello everyone, I just wanted to share a part of my journey that Iām struggling with right now. Iāve been diagnosed with ocd and while this is not my first subtype, ROCD and so ocd have definitely been the ones Iāve been struggling with the most. For context I have a boyfriend who I love very much and am terrified of loosing. Thatās probably what ocd latched onto. The so-ocd especially is tricky because Iāve come to acknowledge that I am bisexual. Donāt worry I didnāt ādiscoverā this through ocd, Iāve always known and itās been in the back of my mind way before ocd, I had just never really directly acknowledged it because romantically I just always leaned towards men. The thing my ocd latched onto is āwhat if you are actually a lesbian and donāt know it yet and will have to leave your partner or are lying to your partner or end up leading him onā The thing is, I donāt have much experience with women except kissing my female best friend once, which didnāt feel special or made me have romantic feelings for her. Iāve always seeked men more actively than women and didnāt feel like I was gonna miss out if I get into a serious relationship with a man before having had more experience. I just know that I can be sexually attracted to women as well. But now that Iām in this beautiful relationship Iām terrified of getting it wrong or having missed something about myself or being scared that Iām actually a lesbian and have been lying to myself all along. Iām not seeking reassurance, just wanting to share and maybe someone else is going through something similar? If so Iād be so grateful to know Iām not alone. I love my boyfriend dearly and i really hope we will work out in the long run.
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