Thread
Jeanie12
17d ago
  • Relationship OCD

Can someone explain rumination to me with some specific examples? I can’t find any good answers for it to know if I’m doing it or not!

Sasha
17d ago
You have an intrusive thought: “what if I forgot to turn off the stove?” Rumination begins: “My parents will kill me if they find out.” “I’ll burn the whole house down” “Did I turn it off? I think I did, but I can’t remember. I usually turn it off…. One time I didn’t, but I came right back… I think”
Sasha
17d ago
It’s basically thinking about the same intrusive thought over and over
Justmesadly
17d ago
Like trying to find a reason behind it, why did you think it,what did you do before and after turning off the stove (just to add to sasha)
Jeanie12
17d ago
Alright, so that’s what I was afraid of! I believe I have Pure O. I have been diagnosed with ROCD. I am constantly thinking about either I am attracted to my significant other or not. To the point that I get dibilitated. How do I stop constantly thinking about it. It plays on a constant Loop.
Sasha
17d ago
You notice the discomfort that’s associated with the thought. It’s not the thought that’s causing you to ruminate; it’s the feeling of discomfort and anxiety that makes you look for relief. Rumination becomes that relief. Unfortunately it’s temporary and doesn’t solve anything. So what can you do? Just sit with the feeling and let it be there with you, until it passes. Or say something like “maybe it is maybe it’s not. I will not know for certain.”
Jeanie12
16d ago
@Sasha So it’s not hurting me that the thought is 24/7 on my mind? As long as I’m agreeing with it, ideally, it will start to get better and the anxiety will go away? 🥺
Sasha
16d ago
@Jeanie12 Yes, so the reason it’s consuming you all day, is because you are responding to it and resisting it. So then you start to do compulsions, and it becomes a vicious cycle. Your brain thinks it’s under attack and keeps sending out distress signals over and over. What happens when you stop reacting and stop giving in to the ruminations, is that your brain stop getting confirmation from you that it’s under attack, so then it naturally will reset itself. Of course the intrusive thought can come again, and habitually your body may respond with distress signals, but eventually it will weaken its association with the thought as a threat. The more you ruminate, the more you reinforce and feed the ocd and the anxiety. The less you do that, the more you calm down. Temporary discomfort for long terms relief as opposed to temporary relief but long term suffering
Jeanie12
16d ago
@Sasha Thank you for taking the time to speak with me about all this. It’s such a confusing feeling having to live with OCD.
Sasha
16d ago
@Jeanie12 No problem. It’s very confusing. I still get confused even with a lot of knowledge about it. It’s a disease that wants you confused and undecided. But keep working, keep learning, and keep fighting. The days will get easier my friend
Jeanie12
16d ago
@Sasha You already always do kind to everyone in this app! I see your comments a lot and I appreciate it! Yes, it is very confusing. I know the exact time and day and thought that derailed me. Somehow me knowing that my husband is incredible just isn’t enough to knock off the thoughts. I’ve always wanted babies with him. The intrusive thoughts of not wanting a baby with him now are new and devastating.
Jeanie12
16d ago
@Sasha Really butchered my grammar in the first half of that. 😅 Hopefully you can decipher that!
Sasha
16d ago
@Jeanie12 Aw thank you. And I understood you 😂… Just take it one day at a time. And keep working on mindfully not reacting to the feeling or thoughts. You’ll see, slowly but surely it will unwind and get easier. Your relationship with the thought will not be like this forever.
Jeanie12
16d ago
@Sasha Do you have any advice on mental compulsions? Physical ones are “easy” not the anxiety that comes with it obviously but I can force myself to sit with it. The mental stuff is the hard part. Mental checking specifically! When I kiss or hug my partner, I always check to see if I’m feeling anything or wonder if I will feel anything. I also wonder if I felt things differently than I know I did! So I think of a memory that was happy for me and think “maybe I actually didn’t have a good time with him.”
Sasha
16d ago
@Jeanie12 Physical ones are easier for me too. With mental, you have to learn to be mindful of your ocd compulsions and notice if you are starting to analyze or ruminate. The second you notice, you can label it as an ocd issue. And then sit with it. Learn to accept that it’s possible, and there’s no certainty to anything. It’s hard but it will strengthen your brains habits of letting go of ocd thoughts