Trying my best to word this without asking for reassurance- I am really struggling with the thought that I may have lied about something to my husband 2 years ago and that it was something important. I don’t remember feeling like I was lying at the time. I believe I probably left out certain information because I did not think it was relevant to his question, but now my mind is trying to tell me that I thought I was lying at the time and/or he would think it’s a lie. I am trying to remind myself that this is a very gray situation, and that someone can say something is a lie, and someone else can say it’s not a lie, and that’s it’s a matter of opinion. My main compulsion is confession and I’m really sitting through the urge right now because I know if I confess this something will just take it’s place. Any feedback on dealing with obsessions around lying?

I'm experciencing the same thing almost everyday. The point is, you can't solve it because there is nothing to solve - when you try to solve it, the memory is getting blured more and more. Let the thought be, anxiety will pass and - the most important part: you are not alone and you are very strong. ❤️

Thank you, yes the memory deffinitely gets more confusing. I guess it’s impossible to solve so we may as well let it go and just move on.

I don’t know if this is the same thing but I know I tend to think back to previous conversations and think about whether or not I exaggerated or embellished what I said or if I left things out whether or not it was done on purpose. I realized that a lot of the time when I did that, you make the decision almost unconsciously to embellish or remove information in the conversation. I don’t think we do it out of a desire to harm or deceive anyone. I think we just want what we have to say to be well received and fit in with the conversation taking place. This probably doesn’t make much sense but I just wanted you to know you aren’t alone in questioning this type of thing. Maybe you lied, maybe you didn’t. Maybe you meant to do it, maybe not. Ocd loves going after things that fall into that grey area because there is absolutely no way to get a straight answer or get any kind of certainty. Basically, all the things I obsess about (which you know a few of lol) are in that darn grey area and I despise it. Sometimes it helps me to acknowledge that I may have done something wrong and tell myself that I recognize this and will use the experience to learn and try to do better in the future.

That makes perfect sense. That is exactly what I experience. And then I wonder did I lie by leaving something out? Was that vital information to the question being asked? But you are so right. It makes me feel extremely guilty by the reality is sometimes we just leave things out kind on auto-response or how we think it applies to the conversation in the moment or whatever. It’s pretty difficult to answer everything with 100% honesty all facts and details included all of the time, especially if you are anxious or uncomfortable, which I was. I guess all I can say is I did the best I knew to do at the time and that’s all that really matters anyway. Thanks for your insight and support with this.

@Maybe,MaybeNot Of course! I hope I helped a little because you have helped me so much lately! Honestly, lying in conversation would probably my biggest concern if I wasn’t so freaked out about sexual stuff so I have a lot of compassion about this topic that your struggling with.

@Have a sunflower🌻 Thanks friend. It helps to know I’m not alone. And I know you worry about the sexual stuff- sometimes I worry I’m not sexual ENOUGH so it’s funny how people can see things so differently.

@Maybe,MaybeNot Oh goodness I never thought about it from that perspective. That’s definitely not something I’ve ever been concerned about but I am confident that you can at least tell yourself that you are more sexual than me if that makes you feel better haha.

@Have a sunflower🌻 Lol 😂 good point

@Maybe,MaybeNot I can actually relate to both of you, sometimes I feel like I'm too sexual and I disgust myself, other times I feel like I'm not sexual enough in certain moments and I worry about it. There's a lot more to it than that for me though, I'm explaining it very vaguely, but I think it goes to show just how differently we all look at things in our mind, we all perceive things in life in so many different ways than the people around us are. I think that's why this app is so helpful, it helps us to see things in a whole new light that we would've never thought to look at it in on our own. We often get stuck in a rut in our minds because we keep replaying the same thoughts we're having about something over and over again until someone helps us break that cycle, so that's why it's so good to talk with others about how we're feeling, which I guess is also where therapy comes in to play too. I hope you're both having a good morning Maybe,MaybeNot and Have a sunflower! Let's do our best to show our OCD who's boss today! :)

@Drew777 Yes we got thissss 💪🏻

These situations are so tough but actually some of my favorite to work with because research shows that the more you check something - whether it's a lock, a stove, or even your own inventory of memories - the less confident you become in it. It seems counterintuitive - it truly feels like the more you review it, the clearer it will be, the closer you are to having that aha moment of certainty where everything makes sense and you either did say the thing or you didn't - but unfortunately that will not happen. That aha moment will not come, if it does OCD will doubt it and it will be transient anyway. I know it's hard. I know it feels opposite to every urge you have telling you to do otherwise but consider sitting through that urge, not engaging, and trying to refocus on the present moment/what interests you right now in the moment. Do whatever it takes to not confess. I believe in ya!