- Username
- Maybe,MaybeNot
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I don’t know if this is the same thing but I know I tend to think back to previous conversations and think about whether or not I exaggerated or embellished what I said or if I left things out whether or not it was done on purpose. I realized that a lot of the time when I did that, you make the decision almost unconsciously to embellish or remove information in the conversation. I don’t think we do it out of a desire to harm or deceive anyone. I think we just want what we have to say to be well received and fit in with the conversation taking place. This probably doesn’t make much sense but I just wanted you to know you aren’t alone in questioning this type of thing. Maybe you lied, maybe you didn’t. Maybe you meant to do it, maybe not. Ocd loves going after things that fall into that grey area because there is absolutely no way to get a straight answer or get any kind of certainty. Basically, all the things I obsess about (which you know a few of lol) are in that darn grey area and I despise it. Sometimes it helps me to acknowledge that I may have done something wrong and tell myself that I recognize this and will use the experience to learn and try to do better in the future.
That makes perfect sense. That is exactly what I experience. And then I wonder did I lie by leaving something out? Was that vital information to the question being asked? But you are so right. It makes me feel extremely guilty by the reality is sometimes we just leave things out kind on auto-response or how we think it applies to the conversation in the moment or whatever. It’s pretty difficult to answer everything with 100% honesty all facts and details included all of the time, especially if you are anxious or uncomfortable, which I was. I guess all I can say is I did the best I knew to do at the time and that’s all that really matters anyway. Thanks for your insight and support with this.
@Maybe,MaybeNot Of course! I hope I helped a little because you have helped me so much lately! Honestly, lying in conversation would probably my biggest concern if I wasn’t so freaked out about sexual stuff so I have a lot of compassion about this topic that your struggling with.
@Have a sunflower🌻 Thanks friend. It helps to know I’m not alone. And I know you worry about the sexual stuff- sometimes I worry I’m not sexual ENOUGH so it’s funny how people can see things so differently.
@Maybe,MaybeNot Oh goodness I never thought about it from that perspective. That’s definitely not something I’ve ever been concerned about but I am confident that you can at least tell yourself that you are more sexual than me if that makes you feel better haha.
@Have a sunflower🌻 Lol 😂 good point
@Maybe,MaybeNot I can actually relate to both of you, sometimes I feel like I'm too sexual and I disgust myself, other times I feel like I'm not sexual enough in certain moments and I worry about it. There's a lot more to it than that for me though, I'm explaining it very vaguely, but I think it goes to show just how differently we all look at things in our mind, we all perceive things in life in so many different ways than the people around us are. I think that's why this app is so helpful, it helps us to see things in a whole new light that we would've never thought to look at it in on our own. We often get stuck in a rut in our minds because we keep replaying the same thoughts we're having about something over and over again until someone helps us break that cycle, so that's why it's so good to talk with others about how we're feeling, which I guess is also where therapy comes in to play too. I hope you're both having a good morning Maybe,MaybeNot and Have a sunflower! Let's do our best to show our OCD who's boss today! :)
@Drew777 Yes we got thissss 💪🏻
I'm experciencing the same thing almost everyday. The point is, you can't solve it because there is nothing to solve - when you try to solve it, the memory is getting blured more and more. Let the thought be, anxiety will pass and - the most important part: you are not alone and you are very strong. ❤️
Thank you, yes the memory deffinitely gets more confusing. I guess it’s impossible to solve so we may as well let it go and just move on.
These situations are so tough but actually some of my favorite to work with because research shows that the more you check something - whether it's a lock, a stove, or even your own inventory of memories - the less confident you become in it. It seems counterintuitive - it truly feels like the more you review it, the clearer it will be, the closer you are to having that aha moment of certainty where everything makes sense and you either did say the thing or you didn't - but unfortunately that will not happen. That aha moment will not come, if it does OCD will doubt it and it will be transient anyway. I know it's hard. I know it feels opposite to every urge you have telling you to do otherwise but consider sitting through that urge, not engaging, and trying to refocus on the present moment/what interests you right now in the moment. Do whatever it takes to not confess. I believe in ya!
This is great feedback thank you!!!
hey guys, this is going to be long but i’m trying to heal and i really really would love advice. i’m looking for help with confession ocd in romantic relationships. my question is, how do i stop myself when i have the feeling “wow this is something i REALLY need to confess. no it’s actually important this time” even though the logical part of my brain is saying all it will do is probably cause an argument and isn’t important. how do you get past that feeling of “i HAVE to say this thing because they NEED to know?” that feeling of it being so important. another question is if you do confess and you struggle with false memory, i feel like a lot of the time i say “i might have” it “i think i…”. this feels unfair to my bf because he never knows what’s real and what isn’t and NEITHER DO I!!! most of the stuff i confess is from around 2 years ago, so small details i don’t remeber. false memories can also make literally anything feel real. so when i months later after confession remever the REAL answer (i DID do this when i said i MIGHT have) how to stop from RE confessing?? sorry this was so long but i’m really trying to heal and i REALLY need advice. thank you guys!!
I don't feel like my real event ocd is actually normal. people don't just make mistakes or do stuff like that as a child. and I feel guilty and shameful because it's awful. how is that ocd and not just terrible and criminal. and the fact that I can't remember if I actually did something just as bad or something similar when I got older is insane. like why would I have done it again if I'm not a bad person? it feels like i might actually remember it and there's no way of knowing. it's gross and disgusting and criminal!!! how would I ever tell a therapist about those actions and expect them to not be weired out, concerned, and inclined to tell me same things that I'm thinking which is that I shouldn't be alive or I belong locked up for what I did. having ocd doesn't excuse my past mistakes, child or not. especially when I'm unsure if something happened again when I was an older teen and would have known better. and how do I live on and the people in my life don't know these mistakes. they wouldn't want to know me if they knew what I did so am I lying to them by omitting the awful things about myself??
I can't tell if this is OCD to be honest, but with how much I'm focusing on it, it has to be some form or another. My mom and I have never had the best relationship. Ever since I was 6 years old, my OCD has always made me feel like I need to confess my own guilts to her. Our relationship has gotten infinitely better ever since I started therapy a few years ago. Her and I have been able to talk about a lot of things in the past and she's apologized for a lot of things. Recently I've been remembering more real events that make me want to cry. I don't want to keep bringing up things to her that she's done wrong. Especially this current memory, as it was years ago and I know she didn't mean any ill-intent. I don't want to hurt her by bringing this up, because I don't want her to think I'm blaming her or make her feel like a bad mom. I can't tell if this is something I need to talk about with her to get closure, or if this is my OCD disguising itself so I can "confess" to get relief. I'm so tired, I can't stop thinking about it. I'm not even sure if I'm remembering things right anymore. Sorry if this isn't OCD or I sound crazy.
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