- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
The first intrusive thought I clearly remember happened when I was 8. I had gone with my family to an amusement part and my dad and I were on the Ferris wheel. We ended up stuck and the top. I completely freaked out. I remember thinking that I was going to fall out and that the ferris wheel was going to break and my dad and I were going to fall to our deaths. I remember saying "I don't like this. Why aren't we moving? I don't like this" my dad tried telling me to just calm down and explained that we needed to wait so other people could get on. It felt like an eternity before it started moving again. I couldn't wait to get off that thing. Haven't been on a ferris wheel since. I'm now 45. I have been afraid of heights for as long as I can remember. I also have an irrational fear of bridges especially if I walk over them.
- Date posted
- 3y
Comment deleted by user
- Date posted
- 3y
I was 11 too when I discovered masturbation and feeled extreme guilt and felt like I had done a massive sin after ejaculation. Then I stopped for a long time until I realized that thwre was nothing wrong about it
- Date posted
- 3y
When I was 6, I thought that if I thought about vomit I would puke, but then I couldn't stop thinking about vomit and got scared and started crying. Dad asked me what was wrong, and I told him that there were "bad things in my head". He was very confused.
- Date posted
- 3y
Do you have that vomit fear still?
- Date posted
- 3y
@positivityyyyy No. It evolved to other things. Now my main obsession is uncontrolled weight gain.
- Date posted
- 3y
@positivityyyyy I do
- Date posted
- 3y
When I first I had ocd my parents didn’t no wat to do I was takeing showers for 2 hours cause I’d get stuck doing rituals not noing the amount of time that had passed I had other problems to things to do long to do that’d I’d just stop I’d stop washing my hair cause it was to hard my sister kept telling me I was doing it on purpose to keep ppl from getting in the bathroom and another time my dad would do this little hand thing I did cause of mt ocd in a mean way telling the hospital to take me I’m not normal there’s something rong wit me and I didn’t no this then but my older sister had ocd when she was younger cause she was molested and she use to wash her hands till they bled I never had anything like that done to me my ocd just came when I went threw puberty but my dad doing that to me was horrifying and noing mt older sister had it wat did he do to her and she had something happen to her to cause it mental illness runs in my family my mom was anorexic when she was younger and relatives have other mental illness and drug addiction I get stuck wit ocd that ruins my life.
- Date posted
- 3y
I needed help and couldn’t get it cause nowere helps wit ocd noone took the time to understand me ppl were just tlk bout me cause it’s such a wierd illness most ppl are just unsympathetic and don’t want to try to relate and understand you I wish I had better help and support round me.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I’ve always had OCD, and for most of my life it was little things that seemed manageable at the time or something that would phase out of my head within a couple days/weeks/months. But, the older I got the more severe it became, I’d find myself collapsing deeper and deeper within my own head trying to out think the thoughts that bothered me. About a year ago I had a thought that rattled me to my core. My brothers and I were watching a movie in our mother’s room when my youngest brother turned to me to say something. His close proximity to me triggered a fleeting sexually explicit image in my head and that thought caused me to spiral. Asking questions like, “are you attracted to your minor brother? Are you attracted to minors? Are you gay? Etc.” a couple days went by and my mental stability continued to crumble until I broke down to my mother, she was understanding and we found a a psychiatrist. I got on medication and for a while everything was slowly but surely trending in a positive direction. The thoughts would still pop into my head but they were becoming more manageable. As we all know OCD and mental illness comes in waves. Currently my OCD has been pretty severe. I feel those intrusive thoughts latching on in my head and it’s been very hard to kick them. It’s gotten to the point where I find myself being uncomfortable being in close proximity with my little brother because I feel as though I am capable of harming him in any way. And the more uncomfortable I become being around him the more I find myself lashing out in anger towards the people I care about the most. Those moments of anger cause me to spiral even farther as my head fills with ideas like “what if you are capable of hurting someone or even murdering them?” There’s times where these thoughts rattle me so much that I feel like it would be better to be in prison where I couldn’t harm someone or that even being dead would be a better solution than possibly running the risk of hurting someone in my life I care about. This is about the jist of it, a majority of the OCD I have is centered around the idea that I am capable of harming my little brother physically, mentally, sexually. It’s been exhausting and it feels like there is no end in sight.
- Date posted
- 24w
So basically I didn’t know till my hocd started. But looking back at my life I had ocd since I was a kid. Like 6-7 years old. First time happening I remember that when I was doing stuff many times I had to say something like a little poem in my head to stop it. Then I had this thing were if I felt my left foot touch the floor 5 times I had to do the touch the floor with my right foot too. Then I had something I guess contamination??? Basically after washing my hands I had a sensation on my hand like I could still “feel” the germs and I had to wash them again. Then I started having thoughts of my family members getting hurt. I had intrusive thoughts about me hurting my dog. Then I had this obsession that a guy who used to be in my school is looking for me to beat me up. And how it’s this obsession about my sexuality even tho I never doubted or questioned it before. Is that possible??? Like can you be born with it? I’m pretty sure both my parents have it too. At least at some level. Take my father for example he had an obsession that he was going to die the moment he turned 30.
- Date posted
- 15w
One of my first memories of OCD was from when I was about 8-12 years old. I’ve always struggled with sleeping and prone to twisting and turning due to my brain going like 🧠 🗣️🗣️🗣️ Anyways once I couldn’t sleep and got out of bed one of my parents said, with compassion, ”oh it’s so late, why are you awake it’s school tomorrow” and when they followed me to my room I saw that the time was 22:22 and I felt a really scary feeling in my chest (today I know it was anxiety) and from that day on the time 22:22 🕰️ followed me for years. I was twisting and turning and feeling anxious about my digital clock (I’m a 90s girly) turning 22:22. I could get issues taking deep breaths, being sweaty, uncomfortable and scared and feeling like ”ITS SOON 22:22 AND WHEN THE TIME PASSES IT WILL BE TOO LATE”. I never really understood exactly what was going to be ”too late” but I’m guessing it was getting too little sleep absolutely blown out of proportion. As soon it passed 22:22 it was all good and I could fall asleep 😴 I don’t struggle with those numbers today instead I smile and feel compassionate towards little me. Still OCD sucks, I still struggle with sleep times to times and do have some magical thinking but the big difference is that I logically know that it’s not real even if it emotionally sometimes feel that way. Take care out there. If this made you feel less lonely, wanna share your first memories of OCD? ❤️
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