I can’t deal with my groinal responses... they feel to real. I got a semi, maybe even full erection to same sex pornography. It must mean something I’m very depressed

All I wanna do is love women but I cant

What if it does mean something? It may seem counterintuitive but I think part of coping with hocd is accepting that sexuality is a spectrum and EVERYONE is a little gay...I have gay friends, I have had bisexual friends, I’ve had gay thoughts and fantasies even but still consider myself straight, I’ve had friends that made out with a dude a few times and decided they like women better...there’s nothing wrong with it, I know ocd makes everything seem scarier than it is...but try not to let it get you down, it’s the human experience GOOD LUCK

Don’t test stuff like everyone is saying, or do! If you do, then go about it calmly, and think about everything. Think about do I like men/women? Why am I afraid that I might like them? If I did, what do I think the worst is that could happen? What about the best? And if those happened, how would my life play out afterwards? Why am I okay, or not okay with that? And then realize, if you don’t know the answer to any of these, a lot of people don’t! I was afraid I was gay for a small period of time. I figured out I’m bisexual. But I could’ve been straight, I just didn’t know. And that’s okay. Lots of people do gross things when they’re young to experiment or they look at porn or whatever else that might be embarrassing or weird. But it’s because humans are naturally curious about sex and we don’t need to be ashamed. If you don’t know, just know tons of other people don’t either, and it doesn’t make you any specific label. You can bang men and women and be straight, but as with most foods, you don’t know till you try it. But of course this isn’t food, so you don’t NEED to try it. But if you wanted to or did, it wouldn’t mean you’re gay straight or bi. You’d just still be you, but maybe more, or less, confused. And that’s okay. We’re all here to just figure shit out in life. We might never know and that’s okay too.

But I don’t want them I’d rather die than do anything gay I can’t do it

Don’t watch porn

I don’t like men I can’t accept myself being slightly gay

Dude no joke...EVERYONE is slightly gay....homosexuality has existed in every culture, in every SPECIES since the dawn of time...the only reason it was ever demonized was because of religion...but that’s a fairly recent thing, it’s totally natural to be slightly gay...so just try to relax...you want to only sleep with women? That’s totally fine! Just try not to beat yourself up for thinking about dudes once in a while , cause it’s nothing to be ashamed of....and stop testing yourself with gay porn, only watch that stuff if you generally want to and do it unapologetically

I don’t think about dudes I feel like I’m being attacked by thoughts about dudes

Like they’re hurting me but maybe I enjoy them

It’s like my body wants them but my head doesnt

I’m losing my mind

So what if I have pedo intrusive thoughts does that mean I’m a pedophile?

Does that mean it’s natural and there’s a chance I might be a pedophile

That’s the whole point of erp...there are no guarantees for anything, accept the anxiety and if you really don’t wanna do something then don’t, make a choice not to and accept uncertainty

"You are not the author of your thoughts. You are the reader."