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I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemies, I keep reading that people who have HOCD are never what they fear, but it's like "what if I'm an exception"? Or "How do I know I don't enjoy the thought"? It's awful, but I must take steps to make my way to recovery!

I can’t remember exactly when because I had what I’m guessing is “scrupulosity ocd” (vulgar sexual thoughts that I had to confess) when I was little (7-8ish) and then that turned into “somatic ocd” where every time anything touched one side of my body I would have to “even it out” and touch the other side, and then after that (maybe 12+) HOCD came in waves. I’m 19 now and around February it hit me the hardest it has ever hit me before. I couldn’t eat for like 3 days. It’s been getting a little better, but it still spikes a lot. I think (and any females please let me know if this happens to you) it gets worse the 2 weeks before my period. Like everything else in life does too haha. How about you?

exactly! it really attacks you at your most vulnerable moments, and it attacks the things u care most about ? so draining

I know. It convinces you that you are the exception. Isn’t that the best way ocd could convince you that you’re thoughts are true though? The more real the thoughts feel, the stronger the grip ocd has. Laugh in its face! Bore it to death! Take everything it’s got to throw at you, every super convincing thought- and shrug it off! Road to recovery is a bumpy one, but you’ve got a life to live, friend!

@gonzalmc If you felt better that your HOCD looked like someone else’s, that would be reassuring yourself and ultimately be making it worse. You have to take the thought “well I have a different symptom that no one else has mentioned so that means it’s not HOCD” and not give it any attention! Breathe through it (in through your nose, out through your mouth very deeply) and calm yourself through it. Don’t rationalize with it- you won’t win. Just be at peace with it. I know it’s extremely difficult- but you can do it!! You have been doing it for a long time:)

22. But I had it 5 months ago and 4 months ago I started to go to a good therapist and I'm actually healing pretty well :) It is really difficult. But when you get to understand the thoughts are just thoughts... you know they can still bother you but you are going to be okay. If you learn with time to stop giving them so much meaning, they will loss control over you and they'll start to be just soft ideas

I've been taking medicine, I need to find a OCD specialist though. It's gotten better, but I still spike, and when I do it's extreme.

mine started last september, it shifted from health concern ocd to hocd and rocd. i was just learning to deal and cope with the health concern ocd and right as i was, the hocd and rocd came HARD.. i also couldn’t eat for a while. and @Leah25 mine gets so much worse while i’m pmsing!! (aka right now...)

@rlr JEEZ right? It’s hell! The second you think you think you have a handle on it, you’re brain decides to get rid of any serotonin you have left and delete your progress and make everything miserable. (Me rn too!)

Mine started at about age 8 so long!!! It’s been over a decade on and off. I don’t always feel like my things line up with everyone else so I fear a lot that mine is not HOCD. Anyway hope the age thing helps.

Yes that sounds like me, to basically test myself to see if I feel anything. It's honestly terrifying

@TheReptileCyka It is. It really is. I understand you, you’re not alone! Your brain is sounding the alarms and its excruciating. The only reassurance that is allowed is this- you can stop working so hard to come to a conclusion, cause there isn’t one. breathe and let go! (easier said than done, Ik)

I'll try, I thank you for your help =)

Of course! @TheReptileCyka @idont241 You never have to go through this alone!

Everyone suffers at their own pace.. I mean, is not that Im completely fine with it xd but in only 4 months I made a lot of progress. So keep going, things get better. Desperation dissapears. You just will understand yourself better and better. And also take meds uf you need it for your anxiety, that could help. Keep positive with yourself. Forgive yourself. Nothing last forever.

Well, about 4 months ago, so right when I was turning 16

How have you been dealing with it?

@TheReptileCyka That’s great that you’ve been taking steps to handle this! Take each spike as an opportunity to make progress- it’s so damn hard I know but it will be so worth it in the long run.

I'll try, it's quite the road. Do any of you experience urges as well? Like if you are talking to someone who is gay or something and you get an urge to talk to them? OCD sometimes gives me urges similar to this.

@TheReptileCyka It’s probably to test your arousal level right? That isn’t a common one for me, but I’ll definitely look at people who I think are gay (females) and see if I’m attracted to them, or just any females in general. I sometimes get really distraught if I see someone in the distance who I think might be gay but then they leave before I can decide if I think they are or not (and test myself). A good exposure therapy for me has been not testing myself this way. Letting them pass.

@idont241 I promise it’s going to tell you the most convincing things possible! It’s not about coming to a logical conclusion- there isn’t one. It’s about making this “evidence” irrelevant!

@Brooklyn33 Yes! That’s so great for you! Emphasis on the “with time” part for me. I have to remember that it’s not gonna work right away. But little by little, with a vigilant spirit, I know that I’ll have peace for longer and longer spells of time. Thank you for your hope!

14.