I just feel like I don’t care anymore. I’m so exhausted of swinging between constant thoughts and numbness. I just don’t feel like I can sustain the feeling of love. My boyfriend will find someone else. I know he thinks he loves me but I know he could also love again. He’d be fine if I just disappeared. I just hate myself and don’t want anyone to love me. There’s always going to be other people in the world a person will have a connection with so he could move past me just fine. No one connection means anything.

When you feel like you cant take another step walk another mile. There have been times where I felt like this and I was so consumed with worry and angst that I could barely eat or sleep, but trust me push through. He doesnt want to find someone else, and if he is worth it then he will stick around to help you through the darkest of times. OCD does not have the power to take anything away from you that matters to you, especially not true love.

I have felt this before too. But think of it this way... your bf chose you. He could have 100 thousand other people but instead, he chose you to be his 1 girl. That being said, if he loves you, he will be supportive and comfort you when you feel this way. Tell him a little bit about how you feel. If he decides to leave, then it wasn’t meant to be. But he will probably stay and be there to help. Pushing people away doesn’t help you. It makes it worse. Giving into these feelings is letting your OCD and intrusive thoughts win. All of those thoughts aren’t real. Your brain is trying to trick you.

good point^^^ and if you love someone you dont want anyone else.

i recommend therapy too

thank you for your responses, this has helped. it’s been a rough few weeks with rocd but knowing I’m not alone helps