Past

Yes

I would say that everyone who lives with OCD would point to past proofs to prove their point, i.e., that they are a bad person, they are a pedophile, that they are evil. But we cannot change the past, we live only in the present, and everyone on the planet has proof of having done something bad, because as humans we have all done things that we regret. OCD takes that regret and blows it out of proportion. When OCD provides you with "proof" your response may be, maybe I am (fill in the blank) and maybe I am not (fill in the blank), but I am not going to compulse to find out - because compulsing feeds the OCD, like gas feeds a fire. We have to learn to live with the uncertainty of our past, and live in the present, accepting that maybe we are or were a bad person, but that is not today. ERP helps us to learn that we can do that without compulsing. Practicing self-compassion and allowing yourself to be human and not arguing with OCD will help lessen the anxiety.

Yes

I feel like I’m the only one who had these intrusive thoughts when I was young

yep

Thank you for making me feel not alone

I am not sure what you mean by "make it feel like denial because of the past" Are you saying that you go over past proofs but when you do you still feel doubt about the "proof" ? I just want to make sure I understand. But we do know with OCD if we go over the past, when we try to figure it out, when we try to get reassurance or any other compulsion that the doubt just grows. I would encourage you to ask yourself what is some ERP that you could do around this to help?

Ah the past evidence, well that’s the tricky part of OCD isn’t it? You’ll sit there and be like “but i thought so and so was cute.. and i did this at this age and this at this age” but in reality it’s you mentally reviewing (compulsion) and it’s a tough one to eliminate because i do it to. So i completely understand the feeling there. As hard as it is.. maybe maybe not, maybe plan some exposure as well. Let me know your thoughts