- Date posted
- 3y
Here to listen
I'm here to listen to someone to vent or just need someone to talk. I'm overcoming perfectionism, anxiety and intrusive thoughts. I was diagnosed with ptsd ( us army combat vet = Combat tour Iraq =
I'm here to listen to someone to vent or just need someone to talk. I'm overcoming perfectionism, anxiety and intrusive thoughts. I was diagnosed with ptsd ( us army combat vet = Combat tour Iraq =
I'd love to talk, do you mind if I ask what works for you to help you overcome your OCD? I've been experiencing terrible existential OCD lately (am I real, can I trust myself, who am I, what is the purpose of life, etc.). I used to be very religious, but I lost my faith back in 2016 and have been pretty closed off to spirituality since. I've decided that I want to pursue my spirituality again, but I'm working through a lot of fear and trauma from my past that I believe is causing some of the existential thoughts. Is there anything that helps ground you to your reality? spiritual or not
First thank you for responding to my post. I will say what has help me with my ocd is having a support group that you can be open and trust. And the word trust is a word I don't used lightly. In the past I had trust issues because of some people that I though will help me but cause pain and more in my life. Anyways why did you step away from faith.
Sorry for the late response! I stepped away because in the religion I was a part of, I watched members treat other members poorly because of their ideology. The structure also didn't work for me.
Thank you for serving, Im sorry you had to go through that. I have relationship ocd too. My partner was drunk and kissed a girl and told me later that same week. We didn’t talk for a while, but he cried saying he’d be better and would never do anything like that again. That was almost 2 years ago and he made the changes I asked for. But my mind just keeps taking me back to the same place, revisiting those memories even though Ive forgiven him. I just hate being constantly reminded of it when we’re in such a healthy place now. Feel free to share abt your ROCD if you think it would help you ❤️ here to listen
Thank you very much I want to help and encourage others. You can say to your mind I won't accept thoughts you take control of your mind. Words are powerful. I get those negative thoughts and my past therapist will always say to me how far have you come. I'm here for you. I'm more open with my ocd and ptsd than before
@smilesforall Your kindness is so appreciated. Im working on trying to listen to the part of myself that isnt these thoughts. Seeing how far others have come gives me hope
@Multitudes It's been a journey and it's a process. From where I was to where I am now. If there is hope for me there is hope for you my friend. Just drop message and want to hear how you are doing and how is your recovery doing
Firstly, thank you for your service! I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with OCD and PTSD. I can’t imagine how hard that must be. I also struggle with perfectionism because I’m afraid of disappointing others; especially academically. It’s not a big issue like it used to be but some days are harder than others. My main theme I’m dealing with right now is SO-OCD and it’s so frustrating. I’m at a point now where I can feel my old self coming back but OCD is always trying to drag me back into obsessing again. I’m working through it, but it gets hard at times. Anyways, I hope things are getting better for you and you’re doing well!
Thank you and yes perfectionist is a battle because I'm like you I don't want to disappoint myself or others and I hold myself to a higher standard and if I don't do it right to that level. How are you working thru it
@smilesforall I’m the same way too! Honestly I try not to put all my energy and effort into everything I do because it burns me out. I also did some self-reflection and realized I’ve disappointed people in the past and I’ve failed here and there but it wasn’t the end of the world and my future didn’t get destroyed like I thought it would. It actually benefited me and helped me get to where I am today. So I try not to be so self-critical but it’s really hard to break those habits and tendencies especially if you’ve been doing it for years.
@blazed Yes it is hard but I been less in being so selfish critical of myself. I've come a long a way. I'm here for you if you ever want to talk or vent. All ears are open
@blazed Yes it is and to top it off I'm prior military I hold myself to a higher level but I'm doing good thank to God and celebrate recovery group
Is there a therapist or a specialist on here that I can briefly chat with? Or maybe an OCD conqueror who’s very familiar with the disorder? I need an experienced person to talk to me so bad. I just really wanna talk to somebody about what I’m going through so that I feel less alone, and so I can maybe get help managing my symptoms. Thank you in advance ♥️
What is a common family joke. OCD is hereditary on my father's side. However I also live with complex PTSD, and ADHD. I didn't learn till recently how severe my OCD is and the intensity gets amplified if the though goes to either of the other two. It's a loop I've identified recently... just little too late. I've lived with OCD for years not really addressing it till I see that's the very reason I cause damage to loved ones. I'm married, 33, a vet. My marriage is not in the best place now. I have a son who's 4 and already showing signs of OCD. Currently my marriage is at a point where we are working on ourselves. It's discovered that my wife's issues are reflections of my own. I understand fully now that I am the center of the issues but also the solution. I need help for me. What happens with my relationships depends on me showing that I am better and able to process thoughts and emotions better. Journaling helps alot. Trying to do hobbies or this that and 3rd but. I'm willing to try anything. Things are on a line. I'm open to any and all POV and ideas. I'm not out crying. I'm taking a big step for me. Something 25 years over due. Thank you for reading this. As I tell myself now. You'll best this and be better
So... I understand my anxiety but not OCD. I understand both but not in "my born this way world." I have done a lifetime of teaching myself I'm weird, goofy and different from the average accepted societal person. Why: because I've been teased and bullied all my life for not fitting the script. I have chose to be a survivor and not a victim because be a victim SUCKS! to me. Its a black hole that your cant alwaus climb out of, it leaves you dependant on someone happening by and someone that has a caring soul. In my world you're F'd if you wait for the latter version. So I mentally wired my brain to love me, accept those differences and pat yourself on the back for it. I learned to celebrate it and be happy with it. I nutired it and made it the beast that it is today. So if I truly have OCD, I literally, intentionally and purposely created it wishing me unknowing that it was not good. So, after all these years, the Corporate world says No. We do not have to allow this? I have never known it to harm or hurt anyone. So it's difficult to connect the problem? Anyhow, now I have learn, redefine and understand ME from a entirely new perspective. And that is my initial struggle, the other struggles, the other stuff, I have being dealing with and its nothing new to me. Buy telling self that it's a mis-fire is strange and hard for me to accept? It confuses me still. I have always seen OCD as a autistic behavior. I did not then and still do not perceive autism as a mis-fire or something wrong or unacceptable? Still this pwrplex me. When in school I studied mental health and deep dived. I enjoyed it, learning it. I guess I don't view mental health as psychotic or crazy. Maybe because I grew up in a home of an X military father who had flash backs a lot and we just played the parts until it wasn't fun anymore and my older siblings and mother got tired of dealing with it. I never felt afraid or threaten, just accept that is how he was. Every now and then he would start playing out a experience. I am a curious individual so I thought it was quite interesting to know what happened. Otherwise, he sit quiet all dad, like no one else was there and chain smoke one cigarette after the other. I remember my mom complaining that his cigarette then next his cartoon of cigarettes cost as must as the food they had to keep in the house. I thought it was an exaggeration until I good older and understood it from an adult point of view. I think when it first click, I was outside play tag. hide and seek or something. Me and a another girl run under the window he usually sits at to low smoke out of. We run through all pile of cigarette butts and she said, "dang, where did all these cigarette buds come from, it's like a gigantic ashtray. In that moment, I didn't know. But when I looked up I realized that was my dad's window. I think that was the first time I realized how much he was smoking and why my mom had said that years ago. Anueay, I do understanding the behavior of a persistent, uncontrolled behavior that does not cause a resolve but instead increases the non-productive obsession that you're reacting to which creates the necessity of a compulsion help you deal, cope, or adapt in a way you can tolerate it. This increases the stress responds, the anxieties and/or flight or flight chemicals that are being produced. We react mentally and order to feel "ok," we have developed something that make us feel safe, better, or accepting of whatever our minds are telling us that is wrong, cannot do, or adding shit that is not necessarily true. Hear, if I have intrusive thoughts most of the time they are true. I go into a response of anger, then protection. Then the replay keeps me stuck because i have been forced outside of my safw zone or my protection has being tampered with of something that makes me feel feel the andrinaline is neex becauseI about to go to battle by all means necessary. I think that is how it is happening for me. Anything else is not connecting? My broken trust bonds => morphed into F it just don't trist nobody. There is no benefit of doubt. Let them prove they can be trusted until they can not. But... ? I say what is wrong with that? It has always washed away the BS people that I don't want to be bothered by. That works for me???... Yes, of course, when I was young trust issues did interfere with things that it should not have. But I have learned to reconcile that with observation and analyzing my environment and the action of one's words versus their behavior. And now at my age today, IJDG2Fs if I can't trust you or not because I only deal with people as associates and it doesn't matter anymore. Now this pattern of thinking and believing may be all wrong but I have lived life my entire life in survival mode some say. And that adrenaline that is full in me, I have conclude, is my lifeline, my saving grace and why I have never been able to reduce the heighten response in me. I think, still learning... TBC But I'm open, I am here, and trying to rewire this "new" beast that is my bestfriend. When that Counselor helped me to understand that my intenssity of surviving has created this flight of fight heighten energy = anxiety. I had never viewed it to be the problem yet instead my personal instinctive ALARM. A protective system. This is throwing me off. Really off. Then there are some that keeps telling me anxiety is my fearing... what? No. I have literally not feared much of anything. A man once said to me, that I had a God complex. I said, No, Sir. I do not believe I am better or above anyone. I'm sorry that my confidence in my own self makes you feel uncomfortable. My cheerleader- motivation toward self has nothing to do with you persinally or any other person. Its what I do to keep pushing and NOYB. It's for me only. Please stop inserting yourself, I am not responsible for how you feel when I use my motivated confidence to get through shit. Please excuse yourself from my chapters. Anyway... Why do I say this. My protective energy... because I grew up rough, I've learned to protect self. I know I said I believe in a Higher Power, but when you are young, and about without parents. You tend to say to yourself, Well God ain't here, so what are you going to do? You can't wait for that pie to fall from the sky or you will die. Are you ready to die? And of course, I'd say to myself, "Not today." So, you then use that fight or flight as your strength to help save yourself, adapt and do shit yourself. No disrepect. Whatever it takes until that Higher Power say you're fine now. Relax. Vicious i was, I learned to hard way. And don't regret it. 🤷🏽♀️ I guess I'm here to learn how to be delicate and soft. He'll idk. Night, Nighy. Psss ... I had something else to say but it went in another direction. OCD ... ADHD ... 🤷🏽♀️
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