- Username
- kylie m
- Date posted
- 5y ago
That cat probably can't even remember what happened. They're more focused on hunting mice or eating food and sleeping. Obviously it's wrong to do that to animals but you won't do it again so it's fine. Probably scared the cat in the moment but the only one suffering from post traumatic stress is you. Forgive yourself, you gotta live with yourself for eternity. God forgives all who seek forgiveness. Even the worst of people and there are people out there who have done far sicker things than this one mistake of yours.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. Listen dear..every and each one of us has a secret story than no one knows about that might be way way worse and more bothering than yours.. david the prophet and the one who was selected by god to be the king of Israel ..he sinned! He killed! But when he felt bad about it and asked for forgiveness he returned the great king of Israel Please don’t ever feel down or less than anyone because everyone has his own terrible secret mistakes and because you are good/better than anyone in the eyes of god May god help you to overcome your thoughts...please forgive your delf as god forgives you an god will always forgive no matter what anyone have done I love you
Sorry for my English?
Hey, everyone makes mistakes. Yours might have been a bad one, but it's still a mistake. You regret it! That's good. And God forgave you before you even did it, because He loves you and doesn't want you to be hurt. Forgive yourself, learn from everything - and whatever you do, don't obsess about it!!
Actually, I have a similar story from when I was a child. And I have a really hard time getting over it
I relate to this, i disrespected my older sister when I was a Kid and only actually I've started to overthink about it, I am also christian too and thought about suicide too
I guess it's human nature to act impulsively and kinda stupid at some times. God loves ppl who redeem themselves, it's how he tests our faith in him. If we as humans are capable of forgiving you, I'm sure god the most merciful is too. And so should you! free your soul from this burden.
Also when i made this mistake i was quite young and had no idea it would put me in such a bad mindset in the future. I didn't know there was a thing called beastiality or anything like that. Later when i found out about what it was called and stuff, i got really scared bc doing something like that is illegal in most states and i was so young that i didn't know about the consequences.
Really thanks for your text, I had so much regrets of things I did, sometimes It makes me feel worthless and suicidal... Its so good to read such a beatiful text, thanks
We all have❤️
Also, this might not relate to ocd and I'm sorry if i kinda make people mad but i feel like this is a good community of people to get some help from.
I definitely relate to this in different ways, something that’s helped me get through it is reminding myself (which I’m actually doing right now since I’m thinking about it) is that we’re meant to learn from our experiences and test our boundaries- even the ones that are the most difficult to cope with, and I truly believe that G-d understands that
This happens when we are kids, we don't know if something we did is bad, just like you said we havent no idea about it
I think I might be becoming a bad and miserable person because of my past. Recently a lot of people are being exposed for manipulating a child or person, and I started to think back if I ever did such thing. I think I did as a kid, but Idk. When I was a kid, sexting or virtual sex was a thing ( there was no nudes or anything very explicit, it wasn’t that far. Kid would just pretend to do the sex thing). It was very common ( it might have not been for you, but I would see this in video games) for some reason, and I was kind of into it but weirded out by it. I’m glad kids nowadays don’t do that anymore, but when I was a kid I gave it somewhat a try. It’s weird to explain, but this is what happened. I was about 12-14 years old, I don’t remember what age, but all I remembered is that it was the start of me going through puberty. I played this game called “second life.” It was a virtual social game, where you meet up and hangout with people virtually. It’s like vr chat, but not vr. Anyways, a girl invited me to her virtual house. I quickly accepted it invitation because...you know... I was a kid and my mind was like “oh my god, I finally have a online gf” I entered her virtual house, and we were playing truth or dare, then got bored. (I’m sorry this is we’re it gets weird) she asked “now what?” And then I asked if she wanted to go to the bedroom. She said sure. My heart was beefing fast and I was aroused because I felt like I had a gf ( when I say gf, I don’t really mean gf, it was a think kids would say when they hung out with a girl) and I never did this before I think, I hope it was the first and only. (This is very weird ik) This is we’re things got sexual. Once we got there, you know....think you know we’re it was headed. I asked if she has a emote dance that can re-enacts the doggie style. She said yeah, and we did the disgusting thing. I don’t think we said much of anything sexual because weird kids and we’re scared to type anything sexual. I might be wrong I don’t remember much of the conversations. All I remember was that we just had our avatars do the actions and just watched. 30s of that weird disgusting thing, and my arousal then climaxed. I freaked out when I climaxed. I started to realized this was a weird and disgusting thing. I was mostly scared of the climax because I felt like it was unnatural. I was scared of what just happened, and so I quickly told the girl to stop. She stopped, and I idk if she asked why or anything. I was too weirded out and just said “I have to go. Bye” she said ok. And I left. I deleted everything. I deleted the game and swore to never touch that game ever again because I thought it was evil. I think I also delete other social games that had similarities to that game. I never wanted to ever interact with a person online because that experience felt very disgusting and regrettable. Years later, I a 16 year old, find out about YouTuber manipulating underage fans. And I see my little cousins talk about their online bfs and gfs. I remember the disgusting situation that I took part when I was a kid. The I started to get scared. What if that “gf” was way younger than me? What if I manipulated her and I caused irreversible physiological damage? The whole interaction from when I was invited to the end of the interaction lasted only like 5-10 mins, I might be wrong though. I feel very horrible and miserable. I have no idea who the other person is that was the first and last time I ever interacted with them. I think I might have asked for their age, and it was my age, but I don’t remember. Maybe they were my age, and so that’s why we continued to be “bf and gf” during the interaction (not really big and gf, it a thing kids used to say) I feel bad for the other person. It felt like we both liked each other, but the possibility of the unknown age gap scares me. I feel like I did no damage to the person because it ended very quickly, but the possibility that I did still whispers to me. I’ve been starting to hate myself recently because of this. Maybe I deserve it, I have no idea. I don’t know how to look at that situation. I could make the argument that we were just two dumb kids who did something stupid or It could be seen as me manipulating and hurt someone. I don’t know what to think of it or how to feel. I now am starting to believe my existence should not be allowed to continue. I feel like I am not allowed to be happy at all. My family invites me to do fun stuff and hangout with them, but I reject their offers because I feel like I should just rot in my bed. I never felt very miserable and it hurts, but I feel like I deserve to be hurt. I might not deserve anything good I get in my life for what I might have done to the person. This might be the first time I ever spoke about this. I need some guidance in my life. What are your thoughts about all of this? Have you ever been in a similar situation? How should I feel about the situation? Am the evil person who hurt someone or were we both just dumb kids? Anything will help me. I’m going to tell this to my therapist m, but I feel like she might not help me. I feel likes it a “you screwed up your life” type of situation. Anyways I hope you have a great day wether you hate me or not. Thank you if you have read this far?
i’m in DESPERATE need of help. i cant even handle this, i feel like the shittiest person in the world. I want you guys to be honest but also don’t think of me as the worst person ever. So, i’m so close to being 16 now. When i was younger i guess i was exposed to more sexual things at a young age. i was in like 5th-6th grade i’m pretty sure and seventh maybe but i highly doubt it and my middle school doesn’t start til 7th so i was basically just in elementary school. i hate saying this it literally disgusts me but i have to do it for my own sanity. so, at this age, i touched my neighbors dog and like did other things. it wasn’t like a thing that went on and happened every day, but it happened a few times. i basically just did sexual things with an animal and it’s so gross. i didn’t do like actual sex but it’s still gross. and i remember when i was SO young i like humped my other neighbors dog. i think it’s so horrible to look back into now and i promise i’m not a horrible person and i think that is horrible now, but i cant change the past. i don’t want this to bother me for my whole life and i literally swear i’m not a horrible person i was just young and didn’t know any better i guess. i think of Shane Dawson and how he got canceled for stuff like this but wasn’t he like literally an adult when it happened? i don’t know, i just want to cry so badly. i hate myself. any advice?
I got into porn around 14 or 15 I can’t remember, and I came across something really bad on accident. I don’t know if I knew how bad it was. It was literally on instagram. I have no idea why or how that was on there. But I ended up looking it up when I was 16 again and I touched myself to it. I am appalled and ashamed. I don’t know why I did it and I can’t get over the fact that I did. What was I thinking? I don’t understand how I could have done that and it doesn’t even feel like me because I can’t Imagine doing that now. But that doesn’t change the fact that I did. I just want help. Im scared to get help, I feel like I deserve to go to jail. I just want to get help and be a good person. I don’t want to do harm. I genuinely just want help. Im scared but I refuse to feel like I’m getting away with something awful so I want to tell a professional. It’s eating me alive. I can’t sleep or do anything without thinking about it. It runs my life. I can’t live with it and I can’t live this way feeling like a monster. I feel like I’m going to end myself one day. I feel like I’m lying about who I am to my family and I don’t want anyone to do anything nice for me. They think I’m a good person and I’m not. I wish I was. I feel like I’ve ruined myself and betrayed everyone. I feel so guilty and I feel sad. I don’t want to think about what my family would think. I feel like a lost cause.
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