- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
You did it many times and you can do it again. It's the same game just different player :)
- Date posted
- 6y
I miss not being scared all the time. Like I'm "missing something". I miss being able to be with friends without the dread of what will happen if I get a thought. I was depressed before, but I even miss that. It wasn't great, but it was better than this. I would rather have it be difficult to get out of bed than for it to be difficult for me to get into bed because the thoughts are impossible to stop. I miss food. I've been nauseous because of anxiety for a while and so it makes it difficult to eat different kinds of food without feeling sick. I miss daydreaming. Even doing that sometimes gives me anxiety because I think about how OCD is holding me back. I do see improvements, but I'm just exhausted. Sorry for being a huge downer.
- Date posted
- 6y
I'm like you, I miss the "old me", the "fun me". The sense of identity and my independence. I've been pushing myself into uncomfortable situations; starting a conversation, leaving my house to walk with my daughter, talking to my husband..small baby steps to find me has been good.
- Date posted
- 6y
BTW I’m suffering from gender OCD now but I’ve had/recovered from sexuality OCD, existential OCD, and health OCD themes in the past.
- Date posted
- 6y
I feel the samee
- Date posted
- 6y
I miss enjoying my relationship. My boyfriend is great and I dont want anybody else but I just cant seem to enjoy that. I want to be in peace, I want to not have doubts anymore,no more what ifs, feel content with my relationship as I used to. I want to show him all my love,Im scared he will get tired of this and leave. I dont want to leave him but sometimes I get thoughts without the anxiety and it makes me think that maybe I dont love him. But still I know I dont want to leave. I want to be with him, I want to choose him everyday. I hate this shit!
- Date posted
- 6y
I miss my energy. And actually wanting to go to the gym. I miss feeling love at all I miss looking at my kids and thinking about how cute they r and how much I love them. Harm ocd hurts. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I miss when I wasn't ruminating 24/7, waking up with horrible anxiety or spending all day doing compulsions. Even when I try so hard to resist them I just end up in a spiral. I miss when I was comfortable in my nonbinary identity and didn't have TOCD and now everything feels wrong and conflicting. I miss when I wasn't depressed and disabled. I know I can never get that person back. I haven't seen that person since high school. Ive spent years with this disorder and i havent gotten better despite therapy and meds. I don't know if I'll ever be happy again.
- Date posted
- 20w
It is not the thoughts or urges that scare me anymore. It is the way I feel like I’ve absorbed the compulsions into my identity :( I am doing them so automatically that it feels like I am choosing them freely and they’re me. and because of that, it feels like I AM the OCD now, not just someone with OCD. I think I’m just deeply trapped in a loop. I was trying to survive unbearable fear so I started scanning. Then I started pre-scanning. Then checking if I pre-scanned. Then I check how I feel during all that. I run to beat my OCD to the “punchline” (intrusive thought, urge, sensation) because I’m so scared all the time. So scared that I don’t even feel it anymore. I feel numb and all that’s left is this jittery residue and numbness. Now it’s all tangled together in a huge knot. I feel so extremely lost. I think this may just be meta OCD, but I’ve never ever felt so gone before :( I’m really scared.
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- Date posted
- 19w
I’m so tired. I’m so tired. I’ve lost so much weight due to this mental illness. I sleep 18 hours a day to escape these thoughts. I grieve my old self so much. I miss crushing on men, I miss loving men, I miss dressing up nice and get compliments from men, I miss listening to music and daydream about my dream man. I miss wanting to get married and have my own kids with my dream husband. All of those things… I’ve desired them so much and I’ve daydreamed about them so much. My OCD is telling me that it’s all fake. I miss my old desire and love for men. I’m so tired of being alive. I’m so tired of seeing multiple posts where people who apparently suffered from SOOCD became their fears. I’m so tired. Cause y’all probably didn’t even have ocd in the first place idc. I will say it again, has it been someone with pocd or harm ocd and their obsessions/fears became true NONE of y’all would’ve had the same reaction. Stop normalizing soocd obsessions becoming true. It is someone’s worst nightmare. People are out here attempting because of it.
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