- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
You did it many times and you can do it again. It's the same game just different player :)
- Date posted
- 6y
I miss not being scared all the time. Like I'm "missing something". I miss being able to be with friends without the dread of what will happen if I get a thought. I was depressed before, but I even miss that. It wasn't great, but it was better than this. I would rather have it be difficult to get out of bed than for it to be difficult for me to get into bed because the thoughts are impossible to stop. I miss food. I've been nauseous because of anxiety for a while and so it makes it difficult to eat different kinds of food without feeling sick. I miss daydreaming. Even doing that sometimes gives me anxiety because I think about how OCD is holding me back. I do see improvements, but I'm just exhausted. Sorry for being a huge downer.
- Date posted
- 6y
I'm like you, I miss the "old me", the "fun me". The sense of identity and my independence. I've been pushing myself into uncomfortable situations; starting a conversation, leaving my house to walk with my daughter, talking to my husband..small baby steps to find me has been good.
- Date posted
- 6y
BTW I’m suffering from gender OCD now but I’ve had/recovered from sexuality OCD, existential OCD, and health OCD themes in the past.
- Date posted
- 6y
I feel the samee
- Date posted
- 6y
I miss enjoying my relationship. My boyfriend is great and I dont want anybody else but I just cant seem to enjoy that. I want to be in peace, I want to not have doubts anymore,no more what ifs, feel content with my relationship as I used to. I want to show him all my love,Im scared he will get tired of this and leave. I dont want to leave him but sometimes I get thoughts without the anxiety and it makes me think that maybe I dont love him. But still I know I dont want to leave. I want to be with him, I want to choose him everyday. I hate this shit!
- Date posted
- 6y
I miss my energy. And actually wanting to go to the gym. I miss feeling love at all I miss looking at my kids and thinking about how cute they r and how much I love them. Harm ocd hurts. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 24w
This obsession is new, but feels so much more grounded and it’s so anxiety inducing. Since the ocd started I’ve lost my sense of self and confidence. I got soocd and it slowly turned into be doubting my identity on whether I want to identify or dress masculine or feminine. I don’t feel good in the clothes I would typically wear out before I’m constantly overanalyzing how I’m feeling , it makes me really anxious and like I’m preforming. So then I started doubting if I would rather dress masculine and it’s extremely anxiety inducing and idk if it’s the ocd now but it feels like that’s how I want to dress.. that’s not what I associated with at all before the ocd but now it feels like that’s what would make me feel fully confident and loose in the world, does anyone else experience this??
- Date posted
- 23w
I miss when I wasn't ruminating 24/7, waking up with horrible anxiety or spending all day doing compulsions. Even when I try so hard to resist them I just end up in a spiral. I miss when I was comfortable in my nonbinary identity and didn't have TOCD and now everything feels wrong and conflicting. I miss when I wasn't depressed and disabled. I know I can never get that person back. I haven't seen that person since high school. Ive spent years with this disorder and i havent gotten better despite therapy and meds. I don't know if I'll ever be happy again.
- Date posted
- 19w
It is not the thoughts or urges that scare me anymore. It is the way I feel like I’ve absorbed the compulsions into my identity :( I am doing them so automatically that it feels like I am choosing them freely and they’re me. and because of that, it feels like I AM the OCD now, not just someone with OCD. I think I’m just deeply trapped in a loop. I was trying to survive unbearable fear so I started scanning. Then I started pre-scanning. Then checking if I pre-scanned. Then I check how I feel during all that. I run to beat my OCD to the “punchline” (intrusive thought, urge, sensation) because I’m so scared all the time. So scared that I don’t even feel it anymore. I feel numb and all that’s left is this jittery residue and numbness. Now it’s all tangled together in a huge knot. I feel so extremely lost. I think this may just be meta OCD, but I’ve never ever felt so gone before :( I’m really scared.
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