So many people on here struggle with thinking about what they miss doing or feeling before their OCD theme hit. Some miss being attracted to the opposite sex and feeling giddy talking to a cute guy at the super market, others miss being able to sit with their partners in peace on the couch, others miss cooking with sharp knives without having thoughts about anything but the food in front of them. What do you miss? I miss feeling like I had a strong sense of self and identity. I miss doing or saying something and thinking, “yeah, that’s the type of person I am! And I’m proud!” Now, I say/do stuff and think, “well that’s how the old me would have done it, and I’m not sure what else to do. But it doesn’t really feel like it’s coming from me anymore. It’s just, a habit. My whole personality and identity is just performing a habit. And I have no idea what to replace it with cause I can’t seem to access the “real me” anymore.”

Hi NOCD users, I wondered if anyone is having difficulty separating yourself from your symptoms? We talk about this often during therapy sessions and within the ERP program. I understand that when you are dealing with these strong obsessive/intrusive, unwanted thoughts and images, it feels like it is a part of you! It is not a part you like or want. So many clients have shared how much they wish they could stop and how it feels like the OCD obsessive thoughts and compulsions are taking over their lives. They don’t feel like themselves anymore. This creates quite a dichotomy because what they believe can be the opposite of what they are thinking. How confusing this must feel! To believe in something so strongly and have your mind be telling you that you are the opposite in your thoughts. It can make you question who are are! This isn’t good for your self esteem/self worth. How much you like yourself and how valuable you feel as a person. Decreasing OCD obsessive thinking and compulsive actions is going to make you feel better. Staying true to who you are, not allowing the OCD symptoms get in the way of who you are inside. Challenge yourself to separate your “self” - who you really are including all of your beliefs - separate that true person from your OCD symptoms - they are just a thought and they are not real or factual. Let us help you separate yourself from these OCD symptoms, let us help you separate your true self from the uncertain thoughts. They are just that, uncertain. Learn to be more comfortable in uncertainty. We here at NOCD understand the pain this gives you and can help you by teaching you the first line treatment skills of ERP! If that sounds familiar to you, I hope this suggestion will help.

When my soocd and rocd first hit hard, it really shattered my world and the kind of stability I had in life before the constant fear of losing the one I love. When I got my first job, I buried myself in the idea that I was too busy to deal with it anymore, it helped that I started school and got a pet hedgehog as well. But some nights it hits me that this hasn’t gone away at all, I don’t spend night after night or day after day stuck in the same thoughts anymore but I feel so cold inside like I’m not worth anything and like I don’t deserve the love and attraction I think I once felt for my sweet boyfriend. I feel like the fact that I can’t “feel” those feelings for him anymore that I’ve spent so long chasing means I don’t deserve him, I feel like even though the great anxiety has stopped I’m still trying to chase down that love feeling and how it “should” feel instead of just feeling it for what it is. I’m still terrified that if I let go of my walls that I’ll realize I don’t love him and lose him. It’s hurting me bad and making me resort to bad coping mechanisms. I’m starting to seek out validation again and craving that rush of infatuation when in reality the only one I want is my boyfriend. For almost a year and a half I obsessed about sexual attraction, it’s really affected my intimate life. I have self-esteem issues about my body, my “skills”, fear of not liking it enough and false expectations just all cause me to not feel much in my body and it makes me horribly sad. My boyfriend says I need to accept the possibility that the things I fear could be true and that I could be with someone else but it’s so hard because I really don’t want that but the longer I fight it the further away I feel from him. I didn’t think ocd could be this complex and cause such havoc on my life. I kind of miss when I felt extreme anxiety every day and had the same thoughts over and over because at least then it was easier to know it was my mind games at work. Now it just feels like I’m sabotaging myself daily by chasing the feelings of love I want. I don’t want to ruin this otherwise healthy relationship, my boyfriend is my best friend and I still want that. Can anyone relate to this? I feel like a lot of people just have the obsessiveness and I’m here trying to deal with the side effects of the after math and it makes me feel so alone

Now that I'm recovering from ocd I just realized that I haven't allowed myself to be on autopilot at any moment anymore. Like before developing pocd, I used to do things on autopilot like chores and what not. Just now I'm allowing myself to be in the moment again instead of thinking of what I'm about to do which has allowed me to be more functional with my tasks. And I realize that's something I'm just regaining and how sad that is that every waking moment has been spent on thinking I could do something horrible at any moment so I have to be extra aware and think a lot to make sure that doesnt happen when that's not the case. It's the overthinking and the fear that's getting in the way of me letting all of this go. And it's my problem with this fear that is causing all my problems.