SOOCD/ROCD

This is killing me slowly day by day, im a straight female 20 years old, i started getting hocd after a break up with an ex and coming off intense use of 🍁🍃 for a few years on and off, i think it has messed up my brain so bad… my hocd is weird because ive been with men my whole life always wanted to be with men.. i also used to always question every relationship “do i love him? Does he love me? Am I with the right person?” Anyways after my hocd triggered my tocd due to researching hocd and finding they can often be linked, I started getting tocd and it’s worse then ever because it’s not who I want to be and I’m going back to situations where my abusive ex partner called me a “man” during a fight. I’ve always been a tomboy but never had same sex attraction. Help. This is killing me. I haven’t been able to study or leave the house most days, and work! I’ve lost motivation for everything and I’m in a dark hole. I need some success stories please

I’ve been really struggling with Relationship OCD since I got married, and 3 years later, I’m afraid I’ve lost the love of my life. Between the Relationship OCD, the Religious OCD, and the Sexuality OCD, she couldn’t handle it anymore. Now that she left, the fog of doubt has faded, and I’m realizing how much I truly loved her all along. I just don’t understand how our minds can play such sabotaging tricks on us. And why? I don’t know what to do. I hope and pray we eventually get back together, but I know I need help. I want to do whatever I can to return to a place where she can feel loved by me, the way she did before ROCD took over. Is anyone here going through something similar? Has anyone overcome ROCD? Were you able to repair your relationship? I’d really appreciate any insight or advice. Thank you.

Hi all!! Its been a while since I've been in here and typically I come on here to give advice and encouragement which i still plan to do but i really need encouragement right now. I typically deal with so-ocd but right now its taking a back seat or just disappearing ( which I'm not complaining) but now my rocd is really coming in thick and heavy and Im overly anxious but i have had panic attacks to the thoughts and its just been heavily attack me on my feelings towards my bf. I love this man with my literal whole being and I want to marry him and I know he feels the same cause we have had discussions on marriage. But lately and idk if its because of my period starting (sorry tmi) and all the hormones but i can't feel my emotions all that well, and the thoughts are constantly telling me i don't love him, i don't want to talk to him which are all false me and him are long distance rn which is hard but we push through it. I really hate these thoughts and all it makes me want to do is scream and cry. Like i said not overly anxious but definitely just want to scream and cry and of course cause Im not overly anxious my ocd picks up on that says oh see your not anxious with that so it must be true. I'm just hot mess y'all:( But anyways word of encouragement keep pushing y'all all got this and Im proud of every single one of you!!