- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y ago
SOOCD/ROCD
Any so-ocd or ROCD success stories? I am having a very hard ocd day and it has me feeling hopeless :(
Any so-ocd or ROCD success stories? I am having a very hard ocd day and it has me feeling hopeless :(
I had SOCD and got through it. I dated only dudes but thought I was gay and gave in to a lot of compulsions and rumination. Fast forward and I’m dating an awesome guy and the SOCD isn’t an issue but ROCD is strong (I didn’t realize that was a thing till lately). It all felt real when it’s happening.
@Razz14 Your comment is so helpful! My SOOCD feels so real and it sucks. Did you have the backdoor spike? That is what keeps getting me
@Razz14 I’m so happy for you, thank you for sharing!! I feel more hopeful now 🫶🏽🥲
@Keepongoing Yup I did! Lot of back door spikes for a while but you start seeing them sooner and using ERP and then they fade into the background
@blazed It’ll get better but ERP was the only way I got better
@Honeyshark Did you start feeling worse before you felt better? I sometimes feel like it’s hard to tell what thoughts are real and which ones are just ocd
@Keepongoing I mean, yeah. But I felt like shit most of the time (or worse) it was those back door spikes and being so tired and “accepting” OCD as the truth that came as new ways to suffer but those faded too. Like nowadays I’ll have the thought “oh she’s hot, huh am I gay?” And then it passes but before this one thought sent me spiraling for years. I wish I had known about it showing up in relationships as well cuz it’s def been there the whole time and I gotta work on that next.
@Honeyshark Thank you for taking the time to respond!!! You have actually been so helpful! I wish you the very best with ROCD I have my struggles with that too and it sucks :( We are both stronger than ocd :)
Wanna share something? I don't have a fully sucessful story but I also have hocd and rocd.
@Lavander Today has just been hard I am so stressed out I feel sick. My ocd feels like it is convinced that I am gay even though I am not attracted to women and don’t want to be with one. I have a boyfriend and I am in the best relationship of my life I just want to be with him but my mind is saying I will always feel like this and will never be able to be comfortable in my relationship again. I would even be fine with feeling like I am bi because then I could still chose to be with a man but my mind is making it seem like I don’t have a choice :/
@Keepongoing Yep, I relate to that. I have a boyfriend that I love very much and ocd came out of nowhere to punch me in the face. Anxiety is running wild. The thing is, our brains keep telling us that we don't have a choice abt the relationship, that we're gay, but both the thoughts of breaking up and being of another sexuality brings us anguish. I also feel sick, even my appetite is low. And it feels so real, so urgent. It's maddening. Let's hang in there though..
@Lavander Accepting uncertainty is so hard for me to accept :( I feel like I will always feel like this it sucks :/
@Keepongoing I know how it is. But it does get better. Last year I did amazing. I only relapsed a few weeks ago. Your brain eventually gets tired of the doubting, anxiety fades away.
im having a unusually hard flare up for two months. ive never had it this bad before (ive had this on and off for many years - thank god not constantly.) lately, i keep having these images in my head and scenarios in my head of me "coming out" in the future and ending my relationship with my amazing fiance who i love dearly. he knows everything but i still feel like i am constantly lying to him, my family, and friends. i need to know that this is something the SO-OCD can do to you? the weird thing is, is that i have never been attracted to woman. i do admire their beauty and wish to LOOK like them or have a specific feature they have, but i dont have any urges to like be with them yet i am dealing with this really bad flare up. My brain keeps telling me that since i have never tried it, i would never know, and i am just getting really distressed from it. i just want to be happy again and it seems impossible. I am convinced i am only person that is using SO-OCD as an excuse. Any guidance or advice, or anything really, will help. i just feel alone and scared and sad all the time.
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
Hello, I unknowingly have lived with ROCD or OCD (not sure what one. I’m new to this). It has ruined so many amazing romantic and platonic relationships and I am so sad that just now I am finding out what the hell is wrong with me. Maybe life would be different if I have known. My OCD and anxiety is at an all time high (ATH) due to some horrible events that have happened in the recent months. I am at the point where paranoia has taken over my life now. I had my first panic attack a few weeks ago where I fainted. My anxiety attacks are so extreme I go thought cognitive distortion that has lasted days. My girlfriend of 3 years is my emotional guardian and she no long has the energy to be that and honestly it’s not her responsibility to be that. She is bi and wanted to have an open relationship and for someone who has OCD this has not been good for me. She also was assaulted in my own home by a good friend of ours when I was out of town but it’s not a clear situation because it sounded consensual at first. I just left my very high paying job. I am financially secure but the job was emotionally abusive and looking back made my OCD worse. I am taking some time off to get my head right…but now, all I have to do during the day is live in my OCD. I’m very happy I finally figured out why I act the way I do but I don’t know if I can get better quick enough to save my relationship. I have never been so worried about myself (M 28 years old). I am a confident young professional and never thought I would be writing on a page like this. Anyway…I hope it gets better.
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