At first some intrusive thoughts were very disgusting, after having them for so long in my mind, they’re not that disgusting anymore which makes me feel more anxious is that normal ?
Oh yeah, that happens. As 868 mentioned, that's likely due to habituation (sometimes people call it desensitization). Not having the same reaction of disgust causes anxiety because you're worried that your lack of reaction means something. This happens a lot as we get better. NOCD has a blog post about backdoor spikes that explains this better than I can, but the gist of it is what you're experiencing.
I think you’re not gonna get rid of bad thoughts, thoughts are just thoughts, with erp you’ll lear how to respond to those thoughts, all humans have intrusive thoughts, but as we have ocd we give some thoughts some attention because of fear then we got stuck in a loop.
You'll never get rid of intrusive thoughts, but you will come to notice them less, and likely have less of them as you go through your journey of recovery. And when you do get them, you won't be as fussed about them. It takes time, practice, patience, and many ups and downs, but it is possible to get to the point where your symptoms are sub-clinical! Lots of people are able to get to the point where they don't qualify for the diagnosis of it being a disorder anymore. Stick with it - you can do this!
@ReadyForImprovement Yep, that’s exactly how it is, I really enjoyed my las 4 years, I got to that point where I felt totally fine, like my ocd was gone, here I am again but I know this can get better so don’t give up
@ReadyForImprovement Yes I was like that at first like it legit went away and not sure why it’s back all of the sudden. Hence why I’m so desperate because I don’t wanna fall into that dark hole again.
@Anonymous Ugh why does it keep coming back… like it’s been so hard to recover. I can’t even look forward to my future in the fear of it coming back. The harm urges felt so real yet it’s back again. What’s the point of erp then??so hopeless ugh
@ReadyForImprovement Thanks for this- just so hard when you lose yourself from a difficult 5 months like I’ve had and the thoughts are related to harm. It’s terrifying to let go .
@Shianne I feel that!! not sure if ur compulsions but I’m in the same position as you and I’m going erp … haven’t started yet but we’ll see
@Anonymous ERP helps you to react different to thoughts or feelings, that’s the goal, once you learn I’ll be much easier to deal with intrusive thoughts. We all with OCD want answers, be 100% certain about something, when that’s not possible.
@Anonymous I think it’s so uncomfortable to keep having thoughts over and over again when your already slightly depressed - and then have thoughts like “do something to yourself end it” when you literally don’t want to do that. I think I have given into compulsions today more than I should like reassurance. But it just is so hard not to . First it was harm to others and now it’s jumped to ocd attacking me( just now having fear of both) Months and months of this is just too much .
@Anonymous I feel you. My biggest thing is I want to be a mom . I have everything going for me . A beautiful home we just bought. Getting married this week. A wonderful family. And ocd attacked me this year during all these life changes all though good but lots of change . I feel like ocd has made me so fearful of the future my capabilities and honestly makes me feel like I’m living a lie and I’m secretly a bad person capable of bad things. It’s so traumatic.
@Shianne You’re not alone, we all with ocd have the same feelings, we doubt about ourselves and that makes us feel even worse, but as humans we live in a world full of endless possibilities, and one thing a can tell you the more you try to find yourself, the more doubts will come, when you accept uncertainty “maybe I’m this, or maybe I’m not” everything clears up and your true-self shows up.
@Shianne Ur getting married this week? Oh my god I’m wishing you all the best. I’m only gonna say to keep hopeful for erp and read a lot of books and watch vids :(
recently my intrusive thoughts haven’t been bothering me much, unless i’m busy doing nothing. i suffer from SO-OCD. whenever i think yes, these thoughts don’t bother me anymore, i’m doing great, i then work myself up like ‘well your thoughts are obviously true then otherwise they would make you upset and uncomfortable’. when i get the thoughts they do still make me feel this way but also not as strong. I do then panic and think i’m something i’m not, despite knowing the truth. also anyone know why they get worse when i’m bored or not doing anything? 😢
I’m confused when people say accept your thoughts why would I accept the thoughts that are making me feel disgust and filth what if I start accepting them and then the thoughts actually become true?
If you suffer from taboo themes, and deal with groinal responses… Do you feel they have disappeared? Do you still notice them? For myself, they have become so engrained/automatic , so while i do not get “anxious” by them anymore i still can clock them & it can feel discouraging … What are your experiences?
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