At first some intrusive thoughts were very disgusting, after having them for so long in my mind, they’re not that disgusting anymore which makes me feel more anxious is that normal ?
Oh yeah, that happens. As 868 mentioned, that's likely due to habituation (sometimes people call it desensitization). Not having the same reaction of disgust causes anxiety because you're worried that your lack of reaction means something. This happens a lot as we get better. NOCD has a blog post about backdoor spikes that explains this better than I can, but the gist of it is what you're experiencing.
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@868 Any advice to get rid of that? I’ve had this flare for almost a month and even in my good moments I feel uncomfortable when the thoughts are gonna pop up again
@Anonymous This is exactly what I’m going through. I can’t be happy because I know bad thoughts are gonna pop up
I think you’re not gonna get rid of bad thoughts, thoughts are just thoughts, with erp you’ll lear how to respond to those thoughts, all humans have intrusive thoughts, but as we have ocd we give some thoughts some attention because of fear then we got stuck in a loop.
You'll never get rid of intrusive thoughts, but you will come to notice them less, and likely have less of them as you go through your journey of recovery. And when you do get them, you won't be as fussed about them. It takes time, practice, patience, and many ups and downs, but it is possible to get to the point where your symptoms are sub-clinical! Lots of people are able to get to the point where they don't qualify for the diagnosis of it being a disorder anymore. Stick with it - you can do this!
@ReadyForImprovement Yep, that’s exactly how it is, I really enjoyed my las 4 years, I got to that point where I felt totally fine, like my ocd was gone, here I am again but I know this can get better so don’t give up
@ReadyForImprovement Yes I was like that at first like it legit went away and not sure why it’s back all of the sudden. Hence why I’m so desperate because I don’t wanna fall into that dark hole again.
@Anonymous Ugh why does it keep coming back… like it’s been so hard to recover. I can’t even look forward to my future in the fear of it coming back. The harm urges felt so real yet it’s back again. What’s the point of erp then??so hopeless ugh
@ReadyForImprovement Thanks for this- just so hard when you lose yourself from a difficult 5 months like I’ve had and the thoughts are related to harm. It’s terrifying to let go .
@Shianne I feel that!! not sure if ur compulsions but I’m in the same position as you and I’m going erp … haven’t started yet but we’ll see
@Anonymous ERP helps you to react different to thoughts or feelings, that’s the goal, once you learn I’ll be much easier to deal with intrusive thoughts. We all with OCD want answers, be 100% certain about something, when that’s not possible.
@Anonymous I think it’s so uncomfortable to keep having thoughts over and over again when your already slightly depressed - and then have thoughts like “do something to yourself end it” when you literally don’t want to do that. I think I have given into compulsions today more than I should like reassurance. But it just is so hard not to . First it was harm to others and now it’s jumped to ocd attacking me( just now having fear of both) Months and months of this is just too much .
@Anonymous I feel you. My biggest thing is I want to be a mom . I have everything going for me . A beautiful home we just bought. Getting married this week. A wonderful family. And ocd attacked me this year during all these life changes all though good but lots of change . I feel like ocd has made me so fearful of the future my capabilities and honestly makes me feel like I’m living a lie and I’m secretly a bad person capable of bad things. It’s so traumatic.
@Shianne You’re not alone, we all with ocd have the same feelings, we doubt about ourselves and that makes us feel even worse, but as humans we live in a world full of endless possibilities, and one thing a can tell you the more you try to find yourself, the more doubts will come, when you accept uncertainty “maybe I’m this, or maybe I’m not” everything clears up and your true-self shows up.
@Shianne Ur getting married this week? Oh my god I’m wishing you all the best. I’m only gonna say to keep hopeful for erp and read a lot of books and watch vids :(
I struggle so bad with intrusive thoughts. They can be so bad that I'll cry because I KNOW that's not how I feel or want to do. (Too embarrassed to say what they're about) I'll constantly try to figure out why I have them, and constantly figure out what they mean, causing me to constantly circle around and around. I had to get on anxeity meds, which helped a little but the thoughts still happen. How do you help yourself with this? How do you know that you're just not some physcopath? 😅
OK, this might sound really dumb, but when you guys get intrusive thoughts, do they just come once and then go away? I’ve heard that repeatedly thinking about an intrusive thought is considered ‘checking,’ but it doesn’t feel like I have any control over how many times it comes up in my head. It’s not like I’m trying to check anything—it just keeps showing up, almost like it’s terrorizing me every time. I can’t seem to stop it from looping, stop remembering it, or prevent it from coming up. Every time it does, I feel horrified, and I already know it’s going to horrify me. I don’t think I’m actively trying to see if my feelings have changed, so is this still considered checking? How do other people get an intrusive thought and just move on? Doesn’t it pop up a million times for them too? I always thought that was normal, but now I’m hearing this could be a compulsion, and I feel really confused, scared, and lost. Is this why my OCD feels so extreme? Because I really don’t feel like I can control how many times the thought pops up.
I’ve started ERP therapy with a really great therapist, and I haven’t gave into my compulsions but I still have anxiety and yesterday my brain was telling me that people were zombies😭 is this normal?
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