At first some intrusive thoughts were very disgusting, after having them for so long in my mind, they’re not that disgusting anymore which makes me feel more anxious is that normal ?
Oh yeah, that happens. As 868 mentioned, that's likely due to habituation (sometimes people call it desensitization). Not having the same reaction of disgust causes anxiety because you're worried that your lack of reaction means something. This happens a lot as we get better. NOCD has a blog post about backdoor spikes that explains this better than I can, but the gist of it is what you're experiencing.
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@868 Any advice to get rid of that? I’ve had this flare for almost a month and even in my good moments I feel uncomfortable when the thoughts are gonna pop up again
@Anonymous This is exactly what I’m going through. I can’t be happy because I know bad thoughts are gonna pop up
I think you’re not gonna get rid of bad thoughts, thoughts are just thoughts, with erp you’ll lear how to respond to those thoughts, all humans have intrusive thoughts, but as we have ocd we give some thoughts some attention because of fear then we got stuck in a loop.
You'll never get rid of intrusive thoughts, but you will come to notice them less, and likely have less of them as you go through your journey of recovery. And when you do get them, you won't be as fussed about them. It takes time, practice, patience, and many ups and downs, but it is possible to get to the point where your symptoms are sub-clinical! Lots of people are able to get to the point where they don't qualify for the diagnosis of it being a disorder anymore. Stick with it - you can do this!
@ReadyForImprovement Yep, that’s exactly how it is, I really enjoyed my las 4 years, I got to that point where I felt totally fine, like my ocd was gone, here I am again but I know this can get better so don’t give up
@ReadyForImprovement Yes I was like that at first like it legit went away and not sure why it’s back all of the sudden. Hence why I’m so desperate because I don’t wanna fall into that dark hole again.
@Anonymous Ugh why does it keep coming back… like it’s been so hard to recover. I can’t even look forward to my future in the fear of it coming back. The harm urges felt so real yet it’s back again. What’s the point of erp then??so hopeless ugh
@ReadyForImprovement Thanks for this- just so hard when you lose yourself from a difficult 5 months like I’ve had and the thoughts are related to harm. It’s terrifying to let go .
@Shianne I feel that!! not sure if ur compulsions but I’m in the same position as you and I’m going erp … haven’t started yet but we’ll see
@Anonymous ERP helps you to react different to thoughts or feelings, that’s the goal, once you learn I’ll be much easier to deal with intrusive thoughts. We all with OCD want answers, be 100% certain about something, when that’s not possible.
@Anonymous I think it’s so uncomfortable to keep having thoughts over and over again when your already slightly depressed - and then have thoughts like “do something to yourself end it” when you literally don’t want to do that. I think I have given into compulsions today more than I should like reassurance. But it just is so hard not to . First it was harm to others and now it’s jumped to ocd attacking me( just now having fear of both) Months and months of this is just too much .
@Anonymous I feel you. My biggest thing is I want to be a mom . I have everything going for me . A beautiful home we just bought. Getting married this week. A wonderful family. And ocd attacked me this year during all these life changes all though good but lots of change . I feel like ocd has made me so fearful of the future my capabilities and honestly makes me feel like I’m living a lie and I’m secretly a bad person capable of bad things. It’s so traumatic.
@Shianne You’re not alone, we all with ocd have the same feelings, we doubt about ourselves and that makes us feel even worse, but as humans we live in a world full of endless possibilities, and one thing a can tell you the more you try to find yourself, the more doubts will come, when you accept uncertainty “maybe I’m this, or maybe I’m not” everything clears up and your true-self shows up.
@Shianne Ur getting married this week? Oh my god I’m wishing you all the best. I’m only gonna say to keep hopeful for erp and read a lot of books and watch vids :(
I’ve been feeling a bit stressed lately because my intrusive thoughts aren’t causing as much anxiety as they used to. It almost feels like I’m becoming a little numb to them, and because of that, I’m able to engage with them a bit longer. I don’t feel the usual rush of anxiety to pull away, and in some strange way, I even find myself focusing on them for a few seconds, like I’m actively thinking about them. It’s really stressing me out because I feel like by not feeling that immediate discomfort or anxiety, I’m letting the thoughts stay longer or giving them more power. I feel like part of me almost wants them to be there, and I don’t know if that’s a bad sign? They don’t even feel intrusive. Has anyone else experienced this? I’m just worried that the lack of anxiety is the reason I’m interacting more with these thoughts that would normal scare me. I feel guilt about it later. I am currently withdrawing from medication so that may contribute to this but it’s not the first time I experience this :/
I need advice for intrusive thoughts. I used to feel like I could handle them. They weren’t nearly as bad as the things that related to my actual life. But now, I’m suffering. I haven’t had a sexual experience in over a year that didn’t involve constant intrusive thoughts. Most are somehow related to kids and I keep chasing off the thoughts but it’s so bad. I know you’re supposed to ignore them but I don’t know how I can just ignore that and continue what I’m doing. But they’re coming on stronger. I had one earlier I could not get rid of just as things finished so the thought came on strongly just before my orgasm hit and now I feel absolutely disgusting. I hated the thought and I know it’s not me and it was not enjoyable but it still feels like I was getting off to it. I feel sick. I’m so fucking tired of these thoughts. They’re in my every day life too and it’s all the time. I just want it to stop but ignoring it feels so wrong. What should I do?
So I’ve noticed that my OCD has calmed down, I’m getting less intrusive thoughts but I feel more uncertain than ever. Is this normal for recovery?
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