rocd intrusive thoughts

i feel so bad for posting here, idk what i wamt i have so many thoughts abt the feelings i have for my bf im scared my thughts are true or that they will be true and i feel bad for feeling amd thinking this way i such a bad girlfriend, i am scared that i like other people just because i look at them or talk to them normally and i feel like a liar what cam i do to stop feeling like this i am scared

Ii spoke w my bf this weekend and he mentioned that he has thoughts just like me, but his don't bother him like me. I then felt a lot better and he tried dissecting one of his thoughts like I usually do and realized it felt more real for him after. That made me realize that none of my thoughts were ever true and I blew them up. However, yesterday I had a thought ab “wait wut if you liked that one guy? How dare you bc youre supposed to love your bf and not secretly like someone else” and treated it as I usually did bc I accidentally wanted to see if it was true but didn't rlly but I would check to see if it was there and now that thought feels so so so real now and I feel really bad how do Ik it's not real? I feel so bad and guilty bc lividly this makes 0 sense but it feels so prominent. It felt pretty real when it happened yesterday too. And now I feel awful bc how is it possible after my clarity the other day? Why does it feel so prominent 😞😞😞

Please help…. I haven’t had an OCD spiral on this topic in well…a long time. For background, I’m in a very loving relationship with my boyfriend of 3 years. I believe we will get married. When we first started dating, he had told me he had a roommate and me, having ocd, googled him to “make sure I wasn’t attracted to his roommate”. However, to my lovely anxious surprise, I didn’t know if I found his roommate attractive or not. In fact, I think I did find him attractive! This turned into a full spiral and what if thoughts, and it was horrible. Eventually I kinda learned to deal with it, but I always felt kind of awkward around his roommate. Fast forward 3 years later, he’s still one of his very best friends so we see him often. And sometimes, this thought still spikes. In full honesty, I actually DONT KNOW if I think his friend is attractive. I obsessed about it so much before I ever officially met him that once I met his friend, I didn’t know what I thought. Anyways, this randomly spiked again, and the thought is “if you’re still anxious you’re attracted to his friend 3 years later, that must mean something…” and boom, spiral. I have thoughts of “check if you’re attracted to him” when we’re around him and I’m so embarrassed honestly. Because at the end of the day, so what if he’s attractive? It’s not like I want to do anything about it, but of course, even saying that, ocd goes “are you sure? You should think of scenarios to check and make sure”. If anyone has been through this, can you please offer advice on how to disregard? I have a hard time accepting finding other people attractive while in a relationship is a normal thing