I try to ignore the thoughts and actually enjoy life, but I feel guilty. It’s like I don’t deserve to be happy bc of the horrible thoughts I have. I hate it so much. I can’t enjoy living without feeling guilt and shame.
I am currently going through this as well it feels like you are constantly on guard about everything and everyone... that nothing makes you happy anymore but you are not alone its hard its very hard i know anxiety just eats at you for not getting rid of those thoughts and actually feeling like they are real but they are not because it is not you but that damn voice in your head trying to tell you thats who you are but its not... you got this it feels like you shouldnt be here but you deserve to be happy like everyone else here POCD is real and that voice isnt real its not you... you got this you are not alone
God, I feel this. I’m sending so much love. Guilt exists bc it shows us we are better now than when we did the thing we did. 💕🫂
@ozimandia Tysm❤️
Does anyone else experience this lingering fear and anxiety because they think they’re capable of hurting someone? It’s killing me. I feel like I’m such a danger. I feel like I’m a predator. I feel like this awful person and I can’t shake it. I want to carry on with my day but I can’t. I don’t feel like I deserve it. I feel like I’ve done awful things. I can’t stop crying.
Feel guilty for not giving into compulsions like rumination and confessing? I feel guilt for having an intrusive thought, trying to shrug it off or just giving it a few seconds of thought and moving along. This sounds like improvement but I still struggle with the anxiety and the guilt. The shame. I’ll be okay and then I’ll remember I have OCD and my stomach will drop and I just want to curl up and cry.
I’m sharing this bc I need advice or even support from anyone who can relate. If you can’t relate and don’t think you’ll say anything helpful or kind pls don’t comment anything… I’ve been struggling with somethings that’s making me question myself. There has been moments while self pleasuring when I get intrusive thoughts, in those moments it feels like I’m enjoying or even self pleasuring myself bc of the thought. Right after I immediately have an anxiety attack and my HEART drops bc it feels terrible I feel like a disgusting monster :( ppl have told me I haven’t done a bad bc of how intense my guilt and panic are but I keep thinking that MAYBE I made a horrible decision in the moment and the guilt is just realising that it’s just wrong this doesn’t make sense to me because I’ve always told myself that I would never act on this in 1 million years and I’ve been known that these things are wrong so I’m just like constantly questioning myself these feelings and exact same situation has happened two times already I even promised myself that I wouldn’t act on anything beforehand and yeah, I still felt like I did act on my thought during my alone time I’m genuinely convinced that I’m a horrible and it’s even got into the point where I don’t wanna be here anymore and I don’t even think this is my OCD :( tbh
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