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I don't know what to do, my hands have become so numb and bruised because of constant washing hands, i have started hating each and every furniture around me, beacuse i feel they are not clean although they are being cleaned regularly but i cannot stop these thoughts. I clean my phone, bluetooth, charger with wet wipes each day, i don't touch any object around me, i am not being able to focus on my studies or anything else because of my ocd ihave stopped going out, everyone around me is so fed up of me. I have consulted so many therapists and been taking ayurvedic supplements too but nothing works. It is getting worse and worse, please if anybody can suggest me how to overcome these thoughts!

Trying not to seek reassurance, but rather connect the dots on my OCD and possible reasons as to why I am the way I am. I have severe OCD (or at least I hope I do) mainly surrounding POCD. I've had symptoms of OCD the majority of my life but this theme has come up more recently. When I was a kid, and i'm talking 6-7, I was first exposed to some really gross adult content online. It was introduced to me by a friend of mine around the same age of me. I saw some really disgusting things that a 6-7 year old should definitely not see. This was not a one time occurrence, as I had been exposed to taboo topics online years to come after that, such as the same friend introducing me to Omegle... And i'm sure you can imagine how that went, theres a lot of genuinely disgusting human beings on there. Coming back to the reason for making this post; is it possible to early exposure to this content could be one of the reasons I struggle with POCD? It genuinely scares me to death because you hear that real p*dos dealt with simular situations when they were kids, so thats kind of making me feel that this could be more than OCD, and I could be a genuinely bad person. My POCD feels so real, that at times i'm fully convinced its not OCD. Sometimes I can't even distinguish the feelings of attraction between a younger person and an older person, except for the feeling of anxiety and fear. Its really hard to explain without going into detail, but it just feels so real. Some feedback on this would be great, thank you all.

What ERP or other techniques do you use to combat fear of cancelation? Especially curious about those with taboo thoughts, false memory ocd and event ocd based off of real events where the fear of cancellation may actually hold some validity. I once did my own ERP not under a therapist but just on my own I decided to create an anonymous account on Twitter and defend a friend who was receiving online criticism. I knew that this would be semi-controversial so I was expecting backlash and when I recieved troll replies it actually seemed to be a really helpful low-stakes exposure activity. Is this something that others have done? Low stakes online posts etc. that you know will recieve negative responses? I have had severe OCD as a kid as pretty much every subtype under the sun, and as an adult I pretty much have all the types under control except for this real event and false memory and taboo thought OCD. It seems like a different beast since it's somewhat realistic in the camcellation culture today, and it's confusing to address. Ive shut down almost all social accounts and it's keeping me from progressing in a career where I need to have an online presence :/