Too Much

I feel very alone in my OCD and CPTSD. Throughout my life, I’m constantly told I’m too much or my mental illness is too much. Although I have healed so much, the presence of mental illness is something that instantly turns people away. My ex boyfriend told me that I’m never getting better, but my therapist tells me I’m getting better everyday. I feel it in my bones. I’m the best I’ve been in a whole decade. So many people have so many things to say about my mental illness. They tell me I’m not we’ll enough. I’m never well enough. No matter how much healing I do. It’s not good enough for them. I find myself daydreaming about friendships and relationships that understand my mental illness. I feel as though I should hide in a pretend world of loving relationships because I don’t believe I will find people who love me despite my mental illness.

Username: scrupulousitymachinescrupulousit...

Date posted: 1y ago

I had an ex tell me something similar, that’s not a kind thing to hear. That said more about them than you though. I trust your therapist though ❤️ it’s hard living w the stigma of mental illness, I’m struggling w it too lately, but there’s a lot of people who get it. OCD makes us feel alone when we might be closer to connection than we think. Highly recommend group support meetings like CODA, I broke through a lot of stigma that way and was able to find a safe space. Cheering you on from afar!

Username: NicolenightNicolenight

Date posted: 1y ago

@scrupulousitymachine Thank you so much for your comment! It is so hard to live with the stigma but I’m so glad there are people on this app that understand!

Username: Dee CDee C

Date posted: 1y ago

When it comes to your mental health, you are number one and everything else is secondary. That being said, when it comes to the stigma, I’ve yet to meet anyone who’s head isn’t attached to the rest of their physical body. I’ve also been open about my mental health issues to which the reactions were, stunned disbelief. Some people would open up and seek help for themselves or love ones. So pay it forward as you’ll never know who you might help. Just my 2 cents worth. Stay strong!!!

Username: Brigitta Brigitta

Date posted: 1y ago

Hi Nicole, just want to say that I'm here for you and would like to offer my friendship to you. I'm really struggling with suicidal and harm OCD. I've had two sessions with an OCD therapist (outside NOCD) and am doing ERP but it hasn't really managed to bring down my anxiety yet. I would love to keep in touch with you..we could support each other with understanding and compassion. Sending you lots of love, Brigitta

Username: NicolenightNicolenight

Date posted: 1y ago

@Brigitta I would honestly love that! I’m here to support you whenever you need support!

Username: Sportsgirl8026

Date posted: 19w ago

Why do I feel alone (part of my story)

My name is Lily. I’m from a small town in Colorado. I have had OCD since I was 6 but I was finally diagnosed at 9. I am constantly being bullied for being different and I came here to find others dealing with the sales things as me. I have never met another soul with OCD and no one in my area really knows what it is either. My most prominent OCD is sibling contamination OCD. I feel like my brother is dirty so I can’t touch him or anything in my own home. I can’t even touch the doors to leave without someone opening it for me or using gloves and washing my hands afterwards. I struggle everyday with anxiety which transferred over to harm and suicidal OCD. Whenever my anxiety gets to great I have to cut myself or sit on the roof and cry with my thoughts telling me to jump because I hurt my family emotionally. My parents call me a burden and my dad used to physically beat me. I’m trying to heal but all I can see in the mirror is a messed up 15 year old girl who is a burden to her family. Sometimes I wish I could just bring myself to the end and put my family out of their pain. I think I need someone with OCD to talk to.

Username: gom

Date posted: 18w ago

Feeling unlovable because of my mental illness

I am a 22 year old female and have never gotten into a relationship due to the fact that I have OCD and how ugly it can get at times. I also feel like I would be a burden and be too much to handle especially in modern dating when people want to have fun and dont want to deal with anything that's exhausting not saying it's wrong but that's how it is. I have these two mindsets of 'I'll have someone who will accept me someday' Or 'I'll just be on my own cause that's what's good for me'.I don't think anyone will look at me and think they want to settle down with me or stuff. I feel like i will be too much to handle. Even if someone likes me, they will never actually love me enough to spend their life with me. Maybe if I were more pretty maybe people might put up with me idk really. This just saddens me to the core. I don't know how to deal with this. Is there any hope for me P.S my ocd is manageable most of the time but when it flares up it gets ugly and i go non-functional

Username: Heal21

Date posted: 18w ago

I don't know anymore

Is it ocd or is it denial I don't get what ifs and I wasn't diagnosed with ocd I went to the pych twice and part me just doesn't want to be tru that I'm might be a p and using ocd just for me not to believe it. Im going to go again and if they say I am a p I'm going to end it because that's a scary thought and I'm also worried about my relationship with my boyfriend he is 6 years younger then me and I'm 27 and he's 21 I met him when he was 19 turning 20 and I was 25 turning 26. I'm tired and I don't want sympathy I just needed to type this out it's been getting on my nerves a lot and I think everyday of breaking up with him fear of judgement. He does act very immature I don't know what do with my life myself and the people around me and making friends is not my cup of tea everytime im around new people I feel like I'm hiding a big secret and I don't want to get close to anyone and just makes me feel bitter because people just be normal and not have these intrusive thoughts pop up and lm like why me why why me. And I just push everyone away I can't stand myself either I'm fat and eating is what really what makes me happy no one knows what I go through and I can't talk about it I'm afraid of getting shunned or that I won't get better and actually seek help that I know I need I've feel like I have no control over my life I'm 27 no job I don't have my own place my sisters are doing better then me I probably sound selfish I want to get better and it if is just ocd it would be a sigh of relief and I can work through my issues. I have more I want to say but this part of my truth

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