After I get over one OCD subtype tge fear of schizophrenia comes back. This was my first ocd theme. Then I had harm ocd after I kind of got over it schizophrenia ocd came back then POCD and again the theme came back. This is definitely my worst one. I constantly check if what I'm seeing or hearing is real etc. Just seeing the word schizophrenia triggers anxiety in me.
Hey. I don't think I can provide anything that will help you, as I'm just beginning my journey with wrestling OCD. But I want you to know you are not alone in the schizophrenic OCD. I think it is truely one of the most painful and debilitating conditions to have. It would almost be easier we were just diagnosed with schizophrenia and we could accept it. The pain of what will be is always so much worse than the pain of what is. The hypersensitivity that comes with this fear is excruciating. Did I really hear that? Are the thoughts in my head voices? Am I thinking delusionally? I have read cases where people can quite literally create voices and delusions because their fear and obsession is so strong. But the good news is in these cases, after treatment they realized they were totally fine. Anyway. I just want you to know you're not alone and it really, really really sucks. And you're doing great being here and trying to wrestle with it, it's not easy.
@Anonymous It is sooo scary! Sometimes I'm completely fine but then other times I think I'm imagining everything. Like today during my coding test I thought 'what if I'm just imagining my answers and I actually haven't got anything on the screen'. I think schizophrenia ocd mixed with the stress of the test made me more worried. The fear of what could happen in the future is debilitating
OCD sufferer with fear of schizophrenia here ! I am currently in 3rd week of ERT. Obsessions with schizophrenia have diminished “ a bit” since exposing myself to videos of sufferers with schizophrenia. What I am not ready for yet is exposing myself to videos of people hallucinating or simulating hearing voices as that would be triggering at this time. I have bad earworms and “ stuck thoughts” that I just constantly ruminate which creates this seed of doubt . Rumination questions: Am I thinking ? Is it voices ? Will it last forever ? Will it ever go away? What if I was misdiagnosed? Will I ever be able to have a clear mind again? Is my life over? Maybe I’ll replay or change the thought to see if it is still there or if I can get it out of my head . The above compulsions really strengthen this type of health fear in ocd. I am in those early stages of accepting uncertainty. It is so hard but you just go through it and wish you the best of luck!
@Mike0310 Best of luck to you too with ERP!! I really want to start ERP but unfortunately there are not ocd specialists near where I live. So for now I'm just in talk therapy and maybe I'll try doing ERP alone
@Pija I started with talk therapy and still use it in addition to my ERP. I find that it is a good tandem to stay rational in my thought process and not falling into rumination. I suggest reading “ Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable” by Albert Ellis. This was recommended by the OCD recovery network and it is really helping me deal with uncertainty. We as OCD sufferers cannot stand to not know with 100% certainty that something catastrophic will or will not happen. This book really helps you retrain your thoughts.
I watched some videos of simulation of schizophrenia and it helped me to convince that i really don’t experience it, but maybe it should be triggering for u idk
@cocacolaa Oh that would absolutely trigger me but I do really want to try ERP but maybe with a therapist and not on my own
@Pija Yes u will never know what can u trigger, everything is triggering me now
Everything feels so real. I think learning about non-offending pedophiles has really screwed with me. I feel like I’m not even doing compulsions anymore like I genuinely cannot remember if I do them or not and the groinal responses are messing with me. I keep having intrusive dreams and I’m in that half asleep state and I feel nothing after that or I feel weird like a good weird, I don’t know. It’s a really weird feeling when I get those thoughts but I don’t like them, I don’t think. All I know is, I keep seeking reassurance and I feel like I don’t have OCD because the way I feel, like the way I get worked up isn’t the same as others. Whenever I try to watch a show, like 9-1-1 or daily dose of sunshine, I feel like I’m watching something I shouldn’t be. Or if I’m just on my phone, I feel like something is going to happen. I feel red flags whenever I’m on my phone, like somehow cp will appear. I know that OCD is the doubting disorder but my god, this is just crazy. I feel like I’m going crazy. Everything is just nonstop, it’s so constant and I’m genuinely scared that I’ll do something when I get out of my room. I don’t know anymore, this whole OCD thing is just making me lose my mind.
Hi all, my ocd has been flaring up lately and I’m not sure why. I think it may be due to stress and anxiety involving school and the hurricanes (I live in Florida) anyways I keep having random intrusive thoughts involving my real event and a lot of false memories are popping up, they feel so real it’s like I can feel everything in them even though I haven’t actually felt them. It’s so weird, like sometimes I will watch a movie and be able to feel the texture of snow or a piece of clothing even though I’ve never felt it before. I have noticed when I get those “phantom” ? touch feelings that they cause a lot of false memory intrusive thoughts. I’ve also been having intrusive thoughts that because no one interacts with my posts on here that everyone hates me and knows about me and thinks I’m horrible and disgusting or that someone is talking about me behind my back and telling people to stay away from me and then I’m a horrible person. I hate OCD so much, I hate that I ruminate constantly on little things and mistakes I’ve made and things I can’t let go. I just hate it so much. Does anyone else struggle with these thoughts or even the “phantom feelings/touches” I’m not sure what to call them sometimes I also get them with certain foods or smells even if I hadn’t had them before or smelt them before. It’s so weird
My OCD has never been this strong, it's so real, it feels like it will never go away, it's never been this strong for me and it's very scary.
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