Harm OCD, and acting out thoughts while sleepwalki

I'm stuck in an obsessive loop of fear that my harm ocd will translate into me acting it out subconsciously, via sleepwalking, because I can't get my mind to stop obsessing about it. I can't afford therapy, I don't know what to do, or if that sort of thing is possible, and if it is how likely is it to happen, especially if I'm not apt to sleepwalking, and the most drugs I do is a blood pressure pill? I don't drink or do drugs, I won't even take a sleeping pill. There's only been a handful of times I've ever slept walk in my life in the past, and only once was when I wasn't under the influence of anything, I'm 35 now.

You've had this exact same fear? How did you get past it? At the moment I'm terrified for my wife, and I don't know what to do with this.

How did you get past this fear? I'm stuck in a loop to where I'm too anxious to even fall asleep next to my wife.

@Dharma77 I am still stuck with it. I have three false memories I deal with from when I was too drunk to remember 😔. In your case, I would use this as an exposure.

@Catlove9 I'm sorry you're going through with this I'm all too familiar with the level of fear it can bring, I wish I knew a way to help you, but I don't even know what to do with mine.

@Catlove9 I’ve had a false memory before the guilt or shame that comes with it is tough to say the least. Saying maybe maybe not and accepting that sure maybe it did happen that day but who knows helped me. You can’t changed the past anyway you can only change what you do today from this point forward. Don’t beat yourself up for who you possibly were. Doesn’t matter what it was. Allow yourself to be human. We all make mistakes. ❤️‍🩹

@Dharma77 We will get through this!

@ Skyline 🕊️ Thank you! This is helpful!

I have accepted that it is possible, but now I'm wondering how likely is it that a thing like that would happen? I'm not a violent person at all, I suffer from severe anxiety, harm ocd, and high functioning autism, and try to avoid confrontation. I have no desire to harm anyone, much less my wife. Of course she's the only one vulnerable to my fear, because she's the one I sleep next to. I'm not commonly known to sleep walk, there's only been a handful of times I was known to have done so, and all but one I was under the influence of drugs and alcohol. Now, I don't drink or do any drugs at all except my blood pressure meds in the morning with coffee, I won't even take a sleeping pill or melatonin. In your opinion, what is the likelihood of me waking up in horror to my worst fears, via sleepwalking, because I can't get my mind to stop obsessing about it? I have anxiety even falling asleep next to my wife.

I appreciate the recommendation, and if her courses weren't almost two thousand dollars, I would take you up on it. Sadly, I can't afford even 1 session with a therapist, much less a two thousand dollar course.