- Username
- ocdumbass
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Sounds like typical OCD to me. I had these sort of thoughts pop in as well with Harm OCD and POCD. And then I would think to myself “oh gosh this is proof that I’m a terrible person because I just tried to justify these thoughts!” Don’t let OCD fool you. This all sounds like typical ruminating to me and it’s just going to keep you going in circles. It did the same for me and I still struggle with it from time to time. Acknowledge these thoughts the sane way you acknowledge intrusive thoughts. They’re just thoughts and your mind is just desperately trying to solve them which only makes your OCD worse.
The root of your problems is reflected in your own answer: "Pedophilia is wrong". You are just echoing everyone's opinions. I am not here to condone anything; however, when we judge things out of ignorance we become trapped in an endless loop of despair. ---- Good/Bad, Right/Wrong, Acceptable/Unacceptable are all judgement marks. When we are educated by professionals on psychological conditions, we become less judgmental and therefore happier people. The people who suffer from homosexual themed OCD have a completely twisted view about homosexuality. The same thing happens with POCD: ' We were offered an idea and we bought it without asking and now we won't let it go as if our lives depended on it'.
Your message implies that some people "should and deserve to die" . That is worrisome - It is my exact point in my previous post. Who are we to decide who gets to live and who gets to die? This is not personal. Probably this does not even apply to you. I am just writing it for the people who have come to the point of awareness that judgements are the root of all our suffering.
and now im mentally checking by seeing if im apathetic to everything else and trying to justify murder and assault to myself because...ocd
i mean i have empathy and i don't think all maps should die. but pedophilia hurts people. it's dangerous and im not going to pretend it's not to ease my ocd
also as a lesbian i find it really offensive to have my sexuality compared to pedophilia
i don't think any people should die. that was the point of what i was saying ("all maps should die" is a popular tumblr sentiment.)
Never meant to offend you. I never compared your lesbianism with what you are probably thinking as 'pederasty', not pedophilia. Not at all what I meant. - As I said, this message is probably not even for you. But as a public forum I write for everyone who might read this and find it helpful.
sorry if i came off as snappy, just a lot of the map community have tried to gain inclusion in the lgbt+ community, so i tend to be cautious whenever homosexuality and pedophilia are brought up in the same context. also i very much am thinking of pedophilia, pederasty is not actually an in community issue at all
I feel like my head is so messed up. I tell myself, you wouldn't do the things you think about and fear, you have morals. But then I question if my morals are strong enough? Or if my morals have changed at all? I never used to question things like this until my ocd really flared up in the beginning of September, and it's sort of been hell since. Questioning myself, questioning my morals, questioning my intentions, feelings, everything. My main obsession right now is if I find the thoughts enjoyable or not. I feel constantly uncomfortable, uneasy, and anxious. Whenever I see kids in real life I feel fine, I know I'm not attracted to them. But when I'm in my head and the thoughts pop up I question everything and worry that I enjoy them, even though I don't feel bad about kids for the most part in real life? The thoughts are never usually even explicit, it's just like, do you see children in a sexual i ed way? Did you imagine that child in a sexual used way? And I bounce back and forth between being like "no, I'm fine, I know I'm not a pedophile, I find the thought of pedophilia disgusting," and "constant anxiety worrying that I am one and that I only feel anxiety all the time because deep down I know I'm a bad person." Does anyone else share any experiences similar to mine or have any words of wisdom?
Can POCD make you feel like you don’t know why sexually abusing children is wrong, just that you’re afraid of becoming a child abuser for whatever reason? I’m constantly struggling to figure out why pedophilia doesn’t make me disgusted or angry enough. I feel like I’m actually a pedophile who doesn’t know it yet or is in denial. I know I shouldn’t ruminate but I feel like there’s some truth to the thing I’m constantly obsessing over.
Y'all this pocd is so stupid. I know myself. I'm a 21 year old woman who has literally been into older men since i was in elementary school lol. And I've been into my age and older too in women since 4th grade when i figured out i was bi. BUT, in all those years, I've never thought about children in the same manner. Kids actually always highly irritated me. Also, when someone I've dated acted too childish, i wasn't into it. The only thing I've been into is being the dominant over an ”innocent” acting person during sex. And this also goes with the daddy kink. BUT i never actually thought about kids in regards to these things. Literally nothing adds up to me wanting to seek out kids, but now, because of intrusive thoughts, I'm suddenly worried that I'm a pedophile? It's so stupid but here i am and i feel so gross and I'm so done. I don't want to worry anymore. I swear I'm a good person, i just want to believe it.
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