- Date posted
- 5y
- Date posted
- 5y
and now im mentally checking by seeing if im apathetic to everything else and trying to justify murder and assault to myself because...ocd
- Date posted
- 5y
Sounds like typical OCD to me. I had these sort of thoughts pop in as well with Harm OCD and POCD. And then I would think to myself “oh gosh this is proof that I’m a terrible person because I just tried to justify these thoughts!” Don’t let OCD fool you. This all sounds like typical ruminating to me and it’s just going to keep you going in circles. It did the same for me and I still struggle with it from time to time. Acknowledge these thoughts the sane way you acknowledge intrusive thoughts. They’re just thoughts and your mind is just desperately trying to solve them which only makes your OCD worse.
- Date posted
- 5y
The root of your problems is reflected in your own answer: "Pedophilia is wrong". You are just echoing everyone's opinions. I am not here to condone anything; however, when we judge things out of ignorance we become trapped in an endless loop of despair. ---- Good/Bad, Right/Wrong, Acceptable/Unacceptable are all judgement marks. When we are educated by professionals on psychological conditions, we become less judgmental and therefore happier people. The people who suffer from homosexual themed OCD have a completely twisted view about homosexuality. The same thing happens with POCD: ' We were offered an idea and we bought it without asking and now we won't let it go as if our lives depended on it'.
- Date posted
- 5y
Your message implies that some people "should and deserve to die" . That is worrisome - It is my exact point in my previous post. Who are we to decide who gets to live and who gets to die? This is not personal. Probably this does not even apply to you. I am just writing it for the people who have come to the point of awareness that judgements are the root of all our suffering.
- Date posted
- 5y
i mean i have empathy and i don't think all maps should die. but pedophilia hurts people. it's dangerous and im not going to pretend it's not to ease my ocd
- Date posted
- 5y
also as a lesbian i find it really offensive to have my sexuality compared to pedophilia
- Date posted
- 5y
i don't think any people should die. that was the point of what i was saying ("all maps should die" is a popular tumblr sentiment.)
- Date posted
- 5y
Never meant to offend you. I never compared your lesbianism with what you are probably thinking as 'pederasty', not pedophilia. Not at all what I meant. - As I said, this message is probably not even for you. But as a public forum I write for everyone who might read this and find it helpful.
- Date posted
- 5y
sorry if i came off as snappy, just a lot of the map community have tried to gain inclusion in the lgbt+ community, so i tend to be cautious whenever homosexuality and pedophilia are brought up in the same context. also i very much am thinking of pedophilia, pederasty is not actually an in community issue at all
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
Sometimes I think " do I like kids?" "Would i get aroused if I saw content with kids?""What if I'm a pedo and cant accept it?" "What if I'm ok with these thoughts?" "What if I'm not distressed enough " "What if I enjoy these thoughts?" , i avoid kids as much as i can, i cant look at them bc I'm scared I'm gonna have some groin like response. I keep testing if I'd get turned on or if I'd have some groinal response to sexual scenarios with kids. Sometimes I think that if I took my life this would be over and i wouldn't have to think about this and i wish i doubted something else instead of things like this. I had similar situations just with different topics such as if i loved or found sexually appealing a guy while in a relationship and i kept asking myself those questions for months and i avoided going to school for weeks and when I went I'd cry and have anxiety attacks. I had it with past actions i obessed over and felt the need to exploit every detail and be honest because otherwise i was being a fraud. I had it for sexual things that happened when i was a child. Im not diagnosed with ocd but should i tell this to my local counselor? Can someone help? Give me advice or tell me anything?
- Date posted
- 22w
I feel like a really terrible person right now, I keep replaying this, and no matter what I can’t remember what happened, it’s like my brain is purposely not letting me think about it. Without wasting any more time, I’ll get into it. Basically, I was at Walmart, and looking at cards with My Dad, I saw anime ones, took pictures of them for my sister, even ones that were anime kids, because I did my best to ignore it, so I looked at a Hunter x Hunter card, I stared at the black haired kid, being all like “ I’m glad I’m not having any thoughts about this, I’m glad I’m having normal thoughts and not thinking anything” I felt happy, then as soon as I looked at killua (white haired kid), everything collapsed. I don’t know what happened, my brain won’t let me remember. But I’ll give bits and pieces. I think that I had false attraction, and something in my head, said “oh, I wouldn’t mind being attracted.” “He is attractive, and I’m attracted to him.” “I remember a girl thinking he is attractive and he is” “ It’s not wrong to be attracted” “ I don’t care about his age” .. something along the lines of that, and now I’m panicking super hard, because I’m worried if I said those things, I feel like I ruined my life that I’m a pe//do and deserve nothing, idk what to do, I feel terrible… I remember when I was having the intrusive thoughts, I was panicking and was worrying, but it kept playing out, and I kept hearing things talk, it was drawn out too long, that now I feel convinced that I was saying those things, I tested it too, and I can confirm that I didn’t say that, but why am I still not convinced? I know I wouldn’t say those things, I was hoping the complete opposite would happen. My brain kept making me feel like it wasn’t wrong and it was okay. Maybe that’s why I’m so convinced I did that. I’m just spiraling super bad right now, I don’t know what to do or what to think, I don’t know if I said that or not… even if I did test it, I genuinely just feel like I said it, and I wanted it, because I still feel uncertain, I still feel like I said it, part of me just wants to be like oh I did and so I can move on, not because I agree with it, I just don’t know what else to do… I’m really scared.
- Date posted
- 12w
I don’t know if my hormones are extra wild this month or what, but I have been having so many POCD thoughts lately. It feels like I enjoy them in the moment, and then a few seconds later, I get this tiny flicker of *wait I don’t think I actually want to enjoy that.* It’s scaring me a lot. I was watching adult videos for the first time in about a year, since I had been avoiding them because of my OCD. I know they are not good for anyone, but I felt like i could (ironically it felt like a tiny win that my OCD had calmed down enough). But while watching, I had like 3 separate POCD thoughts. And it felt like I liked them. Like genuinely *liked* them. I don’t know if maybe my body was mixing up physical pleasure and mental pleasure, and then my brain inserted those not okay thoughts into the situation, which got tangled up with the pleasure responses I felt mentally and physically. It is all really confusing. I just feel so scared. I know OCD thoughts are supposed to feel real, and that once you get desensitized to the anxiety, they lose their power. But this feels like I am *actually enjoying* the thoughts, and that makes me want to cry. I’m scared that I actually like these thoughts when I’m really aroused :( Please help.
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