Am I experiencing intrusive thoughts from OCD or my true desires?

is it ocd or is it me

i’ve probably posted about this before, but it’s affecting me again.. i’m worried that the thoughts i have everyday surrounding relationship and sexual ocd, aren’t really ocd, because of my past. what i mean by this is, people say your intrusive thoughts are not your true desires, but a lot of my intrusive thoughts now are desires from my past, if you get what im saying. like for example, i have a boyfriend and i wouldn’t leave him for anything, or do anything unloyal, but if i see a guy my brain will think something like “i wonder if he’s single, you should go talk to him” and before being in a relationship i would have those thoughts all the time and obviously be fine with it, and that would be my true desire, but now when it pops up i try to tell myself it’s not what i really want anymore, and im different, but i feel like im lying to myself. i hope that made sense:/

Relationship OCD

Username: hr247hr247

Date posted: 46w ago

the fact that these thoughts are bothering you so much for you to take your time and post this here means that you are an amazing girlfriend and it isn’t you, i’m pretty sure most of people deal with such thoughts (me included), you are fine

Username: LittlemisshissLittlemisshiss

Date posted: 46w ago

I think what makes it ocd is not that we have the thought at all but more of the fact we then ruminate on the thought. Over analyze why we had it, what it means, the truth behind it. I’ve been with my bf for four years. My mental health has been struggling this year and this is where my ROCD started to flourish. I started to feel guilty by having thoughts of is this the right person for me? Or continuing to focus on flaws in my head that were silly to me.

Username: TillyyyxTillyyyx

Date posted: 46w ago

We all have those unwanted impulsive thoughts that go through our minds at some point , ocd or not. It’s about choosing to not listen or give into temptation and that’s a big part of what makes a long term relationship. Don’t feel guilty about the thoughts because as humans we do all have them but it’s something that people just don’t share honestly because there is this false narrative that in a relationship you should feel nothing but positive thoughts towards your partner and we take the ‘eyes only for our partner’ thing too literally to the point where we feel pressured to pretend we don’t get these unwanted impulses from time to time and that is what causes the guilt. Take a deep breath, your normal and there’s nothing un normal about the situation you’re facing. It does not point to any problem in your relationship at all.

Username: pmckocd

Date posted: 4y ago

Hi, I have struggled quite badly with relationship ocd for about a year now and am always getting new worries coming and going at different times. Was just wondering if anybody here ever creates situation in their head like: ‘how would I react if an ex partner or someone else wanted something to happen between us’. Even though I know I would never do anything as I am very happy with my current partner the more you question the deeper into the intrusive thoughts you get. I can tell it’s stemmed from ocd as it just randomly popped up recently and took off really quickly in my head, I still become obsessed in my mind with things like: ‘why am I thinking that’ ‘I shouldn’t think that if I’m with someone else’ even though I know it’s the ocd I find it very hard to differentiate and not ruminate. Thanks everyone

Relationship OCD

Username: sofiarenee

Date posted: 1y ago

relationship ocd. so tired.

so back in july i made a mistake of going behind my partner’s back and hanging out with an old guy friend (who i had a romantic past with) and while i was hanging out with him i had a great time but man my thoughts were going crazy. i found him attractive, funny, etc. i’ve known him for years and everytime we would talk i felt there was some type of tension. like romantic or something. well i felt it again when we hung out and immediately regretted it because i know i love my boyfriend a lot and i felt like a horrible person for doing something like that. i couldn’t hide it from him any longer than i did (not even 3 days) so i told him and he got really upset. at the time i didn’t know what i want, either my boyfriend or that friend. i decided to stay with my boyfriend and ever since i’ve been getting crazy intrusive thoughts about my old friend (i blocked him so i don’t have contact with him). a few months later (now) i know that i want and love my boyfriend, i don’t want to be with anyone else. but i’ve been getting so many intrusive thoughts about that guy and seeing certain posts just remind me of him even when i don’t want them to. then my brain starts to spiral - ‘what if you actually want to be with him instead and you’re just in denial right now’ or something like ‘you dont love your boyfriend, if you did you wouldnt be having these thoughts’ and i’m just so..drained. i’m so tired of thinking about this guy, i seriously don’t want to think about him. i just want to be happy with my boyfriend. i keep telling myself i know what i want, because i do. i want to be with my bf and i want to be happy with him…i love him so much. but my brain just tries to tell me otherwise. i know i messed up and i’m paying the price for it. maybe i do deserve this. i just wish i could erase everything, my past, etc. and just move on. my boyfriend doesn’t hold what i did against me but he’s well aware of what happened and i know how it made him feel. i would do anything to take it back because he doesn’t deserve that, he never did. and i seriously want to be better for him. but these constant thoughts i get are always getting in the way and almost making me feel hopeless. i haven’t told my bf about these thoughts because i’m worried he would take it the wrong way. i really don’t think i should tell him because i know for a fact it would send us both down a spiral and i don’t want that. but, ocd will always try to get what it wants. anyone else going through something similar? some common humanity would probably ease my mind a bit. (in a non-compulsive way. or maybe this is a compulsion. idk.)

Relationship OCD

Username: Peterpan21!

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Is this really ocd or a cop out?

I am a happily married 26 year old. I love my husband and our two year old child. I have struggled with intrusive thoughts in the past. Pure “O” OCD and also POCD. A couple months ago I got triggered by something that made me think of an ex boyfriend from 2016. and it made me think what if I have feelings for him or what if I want to talk to him, etc and it's spiraled from there. Now I feel like I have to be with him or talk to him for the anxiety and thoughts to go away. And then yesterday I thought about him again and I was like well if I was with him would it be that bad? And it didn't make me anxious and now I'm anxious because it didn't make me anxious. Which has to mean I want to be with him? I don't want to be with him tho but what if that’s the case? And what if my ocd isn’t real. I feel like I’m drowning in my thoughts and I have created a situation that feels so intense and real

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