- Username
- garden
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Try to love and accept yourself. Be kind to yourself inwards and speak to yourself as you would a friend. What advice would you give your best friend?
And it’s so silly, but I keep thinking if I were prettier or had an amazing body or whatever, I’d be way more confident. And if I feel confident, I’ll not be jealous of her. Or maybe I’ll just feel superior to her... fuck no that’s not what I want. Adhgdhshshs I hate this.
I think every girl can relate. Just remember that the image that people portray isn’t always the reality. Yes she’s physically very pretty but she could have so many demons and be struggling herself. Her friends might not be real friends, her family life might be awful. Be grateful for things that you have x
Hey, I feel the same too. I have a lot of people that I'm jealous of. They all seem to lead perfect lives so effortlessly and I wish to have that kind of life too. The way I deal with it is realizing feeling envy/jealousy is really just an emotion, and it is only human to feel such things. You may be jealous of others, and others may be jealous of you as well, but of course you'll never know who these people are. The anxiety most likely comes from the fact that you try to put yourself down for being jealous. Everyone has felt jealous at some point in their lives, but that doesn't make them dumb/attention whoring/stupid/childish. And labelling yourself with such painful terms only worsens your anxiety. The jealousy comes from a part of you that is not bad; it only wants to better yourself - it just doesn't know how to express itself properly. Disliking people for whatever reason is also just normal and fine so long as you are civil with them and do not try to hurt them.
No one has a perfect life. Who we present ourselves to be and who we are behind closed doors is completely different. Everyone struggles with their own unique battles, even the 'perfect' girls. What you see is a mix between what they want to show to the world (only the good bits) and your own projection mixed with insecurities. It's not a clean picture. Everyone has their own unique beauty, it's just about learning to be comfortable in your own skin. Have you ever tried keeping a gratitude journal or doing gratitude meditations?
I tend to feel really inferior in her presence
I’ve been trying but I just can’t :(( I feel so sour and I can’t seem to get anything done because of this feeling (and anxiety too now) within me. She’s just got it all. And I feel so dumb for wishing to be popular and surrounded by attention and pretty etc like her. But I just do. And then I worry I want to control people. And then I worry about how much I dislike her, for reasons beyond jealousy. And then I’m stuck feeling like utter shit.
You’re right. The thing is, I’ve talked to her about it and she told me she’s jealous of me too. So we’re both jealous of each other! It’s stupid. She’s kind of like the ‘leader’ of our friendship group and I think a lot of the jealousy stems from just wishing to be that person too. I like to be the centre of attention, and I shouldn’t. I get mad at myself for wanting it so bad, but I can’t help it. Other people love and praise her with no jealousy. And I’m almost jealous of THEM for being able to do that! I just want to be a good friend. She has some really mean traits though, which I don’t like. But then I wonder if I don’t like her because of that, or because of envy, or even both. I just don’t know what to do. The worst part is, I try and try to make her jealous of me. And it’s mean and I know it is. I even try to make her feel left out at times, because I just get so sick of her always being the centre of it. I really don’t like myself for that, it just feels so good. Please please know I don’t like that I do that.
I’m sorry for ranting so much guys - thank you for all your help so far!
I have obsessions about my appearance that I am ugly. I check my face in the mirror and seek reassurance from others. I am constantly comparing myself to my friends and thinking they’re so beautiful and I am disgusting. It’s so hard to not hate myself when I feel like this :(
Has anyone overcome Retroactive Jealousy? It’s ruining my life and hurting my relationship
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